Hence the rum and my melancholy brooding.
And now my back ached from laying on the deck—my arse too. But I ignored the dull pain, as I was in a dizzy state of drunkenness, and the stars above were soothing and spectacular. I tried counting them, but that only made me tired, and I didn’t want to fall asleep here. I must have closed my eyes.
And then a hard boot nudged me, and I woke with a grunt.
“What the fuck?” I blurted into the dark.
“Where did you get a jug of rum, young Simon?” Captain Martin drawled, reaching down and taking the item in question from me. He shook the bottle, the remaining liquor sloshing from side to side.
I held my breath, blinking up at him in the moonlight. Then I opened my mouth to tell him that the source of the drink was none of his bleeding business, when he grinned and popped the stopper. He lifted the jug to his lips and drank, side-eyeing me all the while.
I watched, remaining silent as his Adam’s apple bobbed back and forth. He finished, replaced the stopper, and passed the jug back to me. I took it, cradling the bottle to my side like a trusted friend.
“What on earth are you doing out here?” he asked.
“I had planned to leap to my death, but the drink has soothed me.”
He sat beside me, his back against the rail.
“Oh, my dear. Is it as bad as all that?”
I shrugged—as much as one can shrug while laying on their back. “You tell me.”
“Me? What have I got to do with your somber mood?” he asked, taking some item out of his jacket pocket and putting the end between his lips. The flash of a match catching followed, and he lit his cheroot, puffing on the tip as the flame took hold.
“Bloody everything!” Honestly, how could he be so daft? “I’ve been patient. I’ve waited days for you to summon me!”
He gazed down at me.
“Have you?”
I blinked. “Have I? Have I? You told me to—”
“Yes, but I never imagined you’d obey me with such willing complicity.”
“I—I—” I felt a fool. Except that he seemed inordinately pleased with me, and I couldn’t discount that. “Well, I did obey you. And my compliance didn’t come easy.”
We both zeroed in on the tent in my breeches.
“Oh, my darling. I’m very impressed.”
“I don’t want you to be impressed! I want you to stop ignoring me and give me leave to—to—”
“Give you leave to what?”
I thought about what to say. I pushed myself up from the deck, leaving the jug of rum on the boards, and leaned toward him. I put a desperate hand on his chest, thrilling to the warmth and strength of him. “Please, since I’ve been so very obedient, can’t I come to your rooms, Captain?”
He watched me silently, pulling on his cheroot and puffing smoke out in formed circles. Showing off. “Not tonight.”
I couldn’t believe he was still denying me. “You’re such a prick!” I said, spitting with venom and pulling my hand back from his chest. I drew my legs up from between the rails and stood, albeit a bit wobbly. “I’m going to take myself in hand then. I ain’t beholden to you no more, if you ain’t keeping up your end of the deal.”
“What, right this minute?”
“Aye,” I said, meaning every word. I was already undoing my trousers.
“No,” he said. “Wait.”
I didn’t want to. I was tired of waiting.