Page 94 of You Were Never Not Mine

Elise grins. “I knew he would! I bet it’s magical.”

Honestly, I have no one else to compare it to, so for all I know August is average. But I don’t know… “It was pretty magical.”

“I’m sure.” She shakes her head. “I can’t believe you two are a thing, but I think it’s awesome, Sinclair. And what a story! From being your bully in high school to him being your first. Are you guys like, official now?”

I sort of hate that she brought that up. From August being my bully to being the first guy I had sex with. Is that normal? It doesn’t feel normal. From the first interaction with August all those years ago, nothing has been typical.

When I realize Elise is watching me expectantly, waiting for my answer, I clear my throat and shrug. “I’m not sure.”

She’s frowning. “You didn’t discuss it?”

“Are we supposed to?” I sink my teeth into my lower lip, feeling inept. She’s had way more experience than me, but has she ever had a steady relationship? “I’ve never had a boyfriend before.”

“Not even in middle school?”

I shake my head. “I showed you the pictures of me from middle school. I was a hideous troll.”

Elise bursts out laughing. “You were not. You were just going through an—awkward stage.”

“Awkward enough that I didn’t have a boyfriend throughout the entirety of middle school and high school.” Panic floods me and I remind myself there’s no reason to feel this way. Whatever happens between August and me, I’ll be fine.

Even if he dumps me. I should prepare myself for that. Thepossibility is there. Look at his track record—he doesn’t do relationships. What makes me so special?

Nothing, that’s what.

“You’ll be fine. Just follow your instincts.”

She makes it sound so easy. “I have zero instincts when it comes to this kind of stuff. You’ve seen him—he’s such a polarizing presence. Larger than life while I’m just…me.” I sound insecure. I am insecure when it comes to this man. I can’t help it.

“You’re not just you.” Elise comes over to sit on my bed, grabbing my shoulders and giving me a gentle shake. “You’re Sinclair fucking Miller and you just spent the entire weekend with August Lancaster. It’s obvious he likes you. He might even be falling for you. That’s a big deal.”

“You really think so?” Voicing my insecurities makes them feel that much more real and it’s scary. “I don’t?—”

“Nope.” Elise gives me a little shake again. “Stop all the negative talk. This man likes you, Sinclair. How many times do you have to hear it? Has he said those words?”

“Kind of.” I shrug and she lets go of me, thank God. I was starting to feel like a bobblehead every time she shook me. “It’s hard for me to believe that someone who hated me all those years ago now wants to spend all of his time with me.”

“Maybe he never hated you. Maybe he was attracted to you and didn’t know how to express himself,” Elise points out.

I burst out laughing. “No way. He despised me.”

“Okay, maybe he never really thought about you one way or the other then. I think all the hate came from you.”

She’s right. I hated him. I walked into that frat house not too long ago prepared to see him and hate him all over again. Instead, I flirted with him. The chemistry was hard to deny and it’s only grown since then. He’s all I think about and I’m pretty sure he feels the same way. Maybe we can make this work.

Maybe we already are.

Chapter Forty-Two

AUGUST

“I’m in a—predicament.” I stop talking, trying to come up with the right words to say but unfortunately, my best friend is watching me with that constant amused look on his face and considering my mood, I don’t want him to make fun of me. I need serious help.

Well, that sounds drastic. More like I need advice. Guidance. And that’s not something I ask for easily.

“What sort of predicament?” Cyrus sounds genuinely concerned. The smile even falls off his face. Probably because I rarely ask for help.

We’re in the sitting room at the frat house. What the others call my lair. I like how that sounds. Like I’m the king and this is where I take my court or speak with my trusted advisors, such as Cyrus. I want to tell him what’s going on, but where do I begin? He knows some of the details, but not all of them and I’m afraid I’m going to shock him.

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