Page 50 of Always Say Yes to a Dragon

He returned his attention to me, gaze searching, before jolting in his seat. “Wait, did you think I was yourboss? That I’dhiredyou? The apartment was meant to show you how much I wanted to be with you, to give you a comfortable place to stay while you evaluated me.”

“I…wow. Fuck. I wish I’d known that.” I stared at my hands.

“If gifts and spending time together aren’t how humans show interest, howdoyou show it?” He leaned toward me. The question could have been a dismissal, but he seemed genuinely interested in the answer.

“Both of those things but not, like, an exchange?” I couldn’t think of a better response.

He blinked. “I don’t understand. I value your time, and I know it’s limited, so I compensated you for sharing it with me. I valueyou, so I give you gifts. Humans do this, too. I’ve seen your commercials.”

Christ on a cracker.“Those arecommercials.” Every jewelry, car, and vacation commercial was built on the idea that money equaled love, and based on everything I’d seen so far, dragonsalreadyequated money to affection. Of course he didn’t understand the difference.

Az’zael tilted his head, obviously still confused. I could recognize a losing battle when I saw one. “It’s just different. I can’t explain it.”

Az’s eyes lit up with realization, and he recoiled, his scales glinting in the streetlights. “Did you want to doanyof that with me? The dates, the…” He looked like I’d kicked him in the stomach.

“Um. I did. Want to, that is. But it’s, uh, complicated.” I felt my entire body go red. “Because I liked everything we did, but you know.” He didn’t know. Of course he didn’t. I should have stuck to my one-drink minimum. “It wasn’t real.” My stomach clenched unpleasantly at the acknowledgement. Did I want it to be? I’d been attracted to a sugar baby arrangement because it seemed so straightforward, the give-and-take negotiated up front, and if the other person didn’t hold up their end of the deal, it was easy to hit the eject button.

But this wasn’t a sugar baby arrangement. Az wanted tomarryme. And he’d started the relationship by wanting to give as much as he got. With money. I felt like my heart was pulling itself in a thousand different directions.

“Did you…but you…youdidfeel like you could say no, right? You turned some things down.” The car slowed to a stop in front of my apartment building.

I didn’t move from my seat.

“You didn’t force me to do anything I didn’t want to do. But, Az, you literally tried to negotiate payment for my time. Of courseI thought you wanted paid companionship. I don’t understand how what you actually want from me is different, except that you want it forever instead of for a few months.”

Maybe he couldn’t fathom how financially depending on someone could twist a relationship, but I’d seen it up close. When Adrian quit working, he’d expected me to pay all the bills and still do all the “women’s work.” By the end, we’d fought constantly.

Dwayne got Mama fired at least once a year, then spent the weeks until she found a new job treating her like a servant. Just last night I’d popped over for a short visit, and she’d been hard at work making chicken pot pie from scratch and deep-cleaning the apartment while it baked. Dwayne had been napping on the couch, with a half-empty beer in easy reach on the floor.

“I want to make you happy. I want us to make each other happy. And I’m just a job to you.” He slumped forward. “Obviously, you want someone different. Someone better suited to you. Okay. I’ll—fuck—I’ll leave you alone now.”

I rubbed my eyes. “It’s not that. I want—hell, I don’t know. Ilikedpretending this was real, but I also liked knowing that it wasn’t.” Realization hit me like a ton of bricks, the last of the champagne bubbles popping under the weight. “I’mthe problem here. I should just…yeah. I should just go.” I stumbled out of the car as swiftly as my fancy dress would allow.

I slept like shit that night. I couldn’t stop turning over every minute we’d spent together, every comment, every message, and reanalyzing it in the context of this new information. How had I missed it? He’d said a few things that seemed odd—why hadn’t I asked more questions?

When I woke up the next morning, things felt a little clearer. I’d sworn off relationships because they felt uneven. With Az,Iwas the taker. It had me constantly feeling like I was on the back foot, like I needed to please Az even more. But if we could get that figured out…if we couldbothcontribute…wasn’t that the dream? And wouldn’t I be the world’s biggest coward not to try?

12

Az’zael

The miniature Az’zael stared at me from where I’d set it on the counter in a daze last night. Its stupid, dopey smile and the embroidered name across the stomach, the perfect match to my own coloring, all created by Elle’s own hand, taunted me. I wanted to simultaneously toss the thing and build it a hermetically sealed display case.

I wandered over to my jewelry collection. My emerald necklace had a smudge on the main pendant, but I couldn’t bring myself to polish it. Why bother? No one was going to wear it. I’d picked out a mate and fucked it up so badly she hadn’t even known I wanted to mate her.

I could take off into the sky, but that required the effort of shifting, flapping my wings, and choosing a destination, when all I had in mind was a vague notion of “away.”

Someone pounded on my door. I ignored it. They’d go away soon.

The door creaked open. Had I forgotten to lock it? I often did. No one would be dumb enough to break into a dragon’s lair.

I plodded to the entrance, prepared to scare off whatever idiot had broken in, and stopped dead. “Niemrin? What are you doing here?”

He stepped farther into my apartment. “Last night was, as the humans say, a clusterfuck. I came to make sure you hadn’t dramatically flown off in a huff.”

I stared at him. “Okay, ‘clusterfuck’ is a pretty good curse. I’ll give the humans that.”

His wingtips twitched, and he shifted his weight uncomfortably. “How did it go with your human after you left the party?”

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