Page 63 of Catch Me If You Can

I shake my head. “That wasn’t fair of me to say. Truthfully, I didn’t know what I wanted. You were right—you’re all I’ve ever known. I didn’t know who I was without you. But these past few days… I’ve realized that’s not true.”

“I don’t understand. Are you saying… youdon’twant to be with me?” Her lips quiver slightly, and my heart sinks. I don’t want to hurt her, but…

Is that what I’m saying?

Memories from the past few days flicker through my mind. It’s been short, sure, but I’ve learned more about myself this weekend than I ever thought possible.

Caleb showed me how fun it is to be free. To bemyself.To feelloved.

I want Caleb. I want him so badly, it hurts. I can’t lose him again.

I nod, tears stinging my eyes. “Yeah, Sarah. I’m saying I don’t want to be with you. Not like that.”

Sarah’s eyebrows raise as she sucks in a deep breath and exhales hard. “Whoa. I didnotsee that coming.” She shakes herhead. “You know, when a guy chases you across borders, you kind of assume he’s into you.”

I let out a soft laugh.

“I’m sorry. I think I was chasing after something… but I don’t think it was you.”

“Ouch,” she says with a joking wince.

“I’m sorry.” I bow my head. Hurting her is seriously the last thing I want to do. But, I have no clue how else to go about this if it’s not telling her the truth.

Sarah’s shoulders drop as she looks at me. Then she throws an arm around my back, resting her cheek on my shoulder. “Well…if all of this led to you finding something important out about yourself, then I’m really glad you came.”

My brows raise. “Really?”

“Of course. You’re my best friend. If you’re happy, I’m happy. I’ll always want the best for you.” She squeezes me tightly.

I suck in a breath and throw my arm around her shoulders, pulling her into a big hug. I kiss her hard on the temple. “I needed to hear that. You have no idea,” I say, eyes closed. I hadn’t realized how much I needed it.

“So… who’s the lucky girl?” She asks, her little fingers brushing under my collar. Oh shit—hickeys!

“Shit! Sarah, I don’t think you want to hear about that—” I say, my cheeks already heating up.

“Oh, come on,” she laughs, slapping my chest. “I just said I was happy for you. You can tell me.”

Well… damn. This is the first time I’m saying it out loud. Am I ready?

Once I say it,it’s real.

I swallow hard.

“Nathan, it’s fine. I don’t care—”

“It’s a guy. It’s… it’s a man.” I stutter.

Sarah’s eyes widen. She quickly sits up, pulling herself from under my arm. I swear, I stop breathing as she looks at me, absorbing this new truth.

“Hoooly shit… you’re…”

“Gay.” I take in a big breath of air. “Yeah. I’m pretty sure I am.” I nod.

Woah, that felt good to say out loud. Even if I’ve never admitted it myself, it feels like a huge load just released off my shoulders. Something I’ve been battling since forever now feels…settled. Just saying it feels like I just came up for a breath of air. Reminds me of when I first saw Caleb…

I swear I see every emotion flash across her face: excitement, curiosity, joy, confusion—it’s all there.

“I’mreallyhappy for you,” she finally says, throwing her arms around my shoulders.

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