Page 14 of Home Between Homes

“Oh, McCormac’s! I thought you said McDonald’s.” She shook her head, chuckling to herself. “So, you’re a friend of Jack’s?”

The word ‘friend’ was a little off, but nothing that I needed to explain to her in greater detail. “Yes, ma’am. We met in college a few years ago,” I told her, eyeing Jack as I wasn’t sure if it was okay to tell her that.

“Do you also play for the other team like Jack?”

My eyes went wide, and so did Jack’s.Did she just tell me he’s gay?I stumbled for words to answer her question, but she beat me to it.

“Don’t look at me like that. I don’t care. I’m old. I’ve seen it all. Nothing two people do in private is bad as long as they do it out of love.” She trudged back into the kitchen. “Are you sure you don’t have five minutes?”

Jack pursed his lips, his apologetic expression directed more at me than her. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Candice.” He set a gallon of milk on her counter, crumpled the plastic bags into a ball, and tossed them into a trash can.

The cat hopped onto the kitchen counter and sat down next to Jack. He rubbed his head against Jack’s arms and demanded that Jack stroke his furry ears.

“Does it bother you that I talk so openly about sexuality?” Mrs. Candice squawked. “You can tell me. I can handle it.” She grabbed a metal box from a shelf next to her refrigerator and took half a minute to lift the lid. Inside were homemade cookies shaped like snowmen, which she held up to Jack. Without discussion, he took one. Mrs. Candice stomped toward me, and to shorten our stay, I took the three steps toward her.

“Thank you,” I said.

“You’re welcome.” She walked past me and tossed the cookie box on the coffee table. “Now, follow me. I want to show you something.” Her feet shuffled like a steam locomotive as she made her way to the dark wooden bookcase on the opposite side of the living room. She pointed to a door at the bottom and motioned for me to open it. “I want to show you my secret stash. I can’t show it to my girlfriends, butyouwon’t have a problem with it.”

I did as I was told and pulled open the door, revealing at least sixty books stacked against each other.

“Grab one. It doesn’t matter which one exactly.”

I squatted down and pulled out the first book I could find. When I saw what was on the cover, I let out a howl of laughter that I quickly choked back. Two shirtless men in cowboy hats were kissing. The book was titled, in gold letters,My Hot Cowboy Boyfriend.

Mrs. Candice took my hand. “I’ve been reading these ever since my beloved Carl moved on to a better place. That’s over twenty years now.”

I still didn’t know what to say to her, but at least I put on a smile to match her refreshing charm.

“And even after all these years and all these books, I still haven’t lost my fascination with them,” she continued. “The love between two men is just something extraordinary.”

“You’re very right about that, Mrs. Candice,” I replied.

Her face lit up. “Isn’t it? Sometimes it even feels likethis,” she pointed to the kissing cowboys, “is how it was always meant to be.” Her eyes gleamed. “This one is delightful. I’ve read it five times. If you want, I can lend it to you.”

I glanced at Jack, who was watching the spectacle with a flush on his cheeks. “That’s very thoughtful of you, Mrs. Candice, but?—”

“Oh, you don’t have to thank me for it. Any friend of Jack’s is a friend of mine. Call me Dorothy.” She grinned at me as if she had decided that Jack and I also did whatever the hot cowboy boyfriends in her book did. She shuffled past me, flapping her hands in the air to keep them busy so I couldn’t just hand the book back to her.

I didn’t know if I should put it back with the others or take it with me, but she decided that for me.

“You don’t have to be shy about it. I know it’s in good hands with you.” She picked up the cookies again on her way to the kitchen and pointed to the lid she had thrown on the counter. Jack let go of the cat for a second to hand it to her but went rightback to rubbing Romeo’s ears. When the lid was back on, she held it out to him. “And you take the cookies, too. I still love to bake, but I can’t eat that many by myself. Too much sugar.”

Out of breath from running around her apartment, she leaned against the counter. Her eyes fell on her cat, who was still enjoying Jack’s hands. “Color me offended. The strong young man can touch you, but when I come near you, there’s only hissing and biting.” She turned to me. “I swear. If I hadn’t neutered him for trying to jump every cat within five miles, I’d think he was gay, too.”

‘Maybe he changed sides when he was neutered,’I thought, but I didn’t say it out loud.

“Maybe he turned gay when he got neutered,” Jack said with the biggest grin on his face.

Mrs. Candice let out a cry of betrayal. My mouth dropped open, too, because Jack had just said what I hadliterallythought about saying a second before.

“I swear to God, Jack’s just as feisty as the guys in my books,” Mrs. Candice said, shuffling past him to her groceries. “Lucky for you, jokes like that keep me alive.”

“Young men like him keep you alive,” I said before I could think.

Another yelp from Mrs. Candice, her eyes piercing me at first, but when I gestured to the book in my hands to emphasize my point, they softened.

“This one gets me,” Mrs. Candice said, nodding. “If you weren’t gay, I’d ask you to the altar right now.” She glanced at Jack, whose face grew even more red as he wrinkled his nose. “What? An old lady has no time to waste.” She grinned at us. "Don't worry. I just wanted to show you that I can tell a joke just as well as you can. I won’t ask for your boyfriend’s hand before you’ve had the chance.”

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