Page 21 of Paxton

“Exactly. I can’t throw away a lifetime of friendship just because I have feelings for him, and he kisses like a Greek god.”

They both chuckle at that.

“I can’t risk losing him,” I admit. “Because that’s what’s at stake. If we cross those lines, there’s no going back. Say it doesn’t work out between us? There’s no way we’d ever be like we arenow ever again. And besides, he wants things I don’t—marriage, kids, dogs. All of it.”

“I don’t think you’re giving Paxton enough credit,” Blakely says, then flashes me an apologetic look. “Not that I don’t fully get your point. I’m just saying, he’s an emotionally mature and intelligent guy. I don’t see you two trying something beyond the friendship, it not working, and him going cold on you.”

I nod because I can’t, either.

“But still,” I say, terrified of the hope yawning to life in my chest. “Would it be worth even trying?” I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since Paxton found me at that music festival.

“That’s going to be up to you and him,” Reese says. “I think it’s clear to anyone with eyes how much you two adore each other. Friends or no.”

“I think you should, at the very least, stopdenyingthe feelings,” Blakely offers. “Maybe just start there and let yourself listen to your heart for once.”

I nod. “I can do that.”

Small steps. All I have to do is stop shoving down any feeling that is more than friendly when it crops up around Paxton. There’s a certain relief in that notion, thinking about how exhausting it’s been denying the feelings in the first place.

“What about Liam?” Reese asks, changing the subject. “Is he still texting and calling randomly?”

“Yep,” I answer, shaking my head. “Sometimes it’s an apology text. Other times he’s drunk and trying to get me to listen.” I glance at Blakely. “Nothing like with your ex, so it’s no big deal.”

Blakely waves me off. “It doesn’t have to be borderline harassment to make you uncomfortable. You don’t deserve any of the BS he’s been throwing your way.”

“Right? Like it so wasn’t that serious. I thought for sure he would’ve moved on by now.”

“Hopefully he does soon,” Reese says.

We finish up brunch, which turns into shopping, which turns into dinner, which turns into a drink atThe Queen’s Rum. By the time we get our drinks at the bar, I’m feeling refreshed, revitalized, and damn near reborn. There’s something about a long girls’ day that feeds my soul, and I haven’t felt thismyselfin months.

“You girls have fun?” Lawson asks by way of greeting as he, Nash, and Pax come over to us.

“Always,” Blakely says, smiling up at him before reaching up to give him a kiss.

Nash smiles at us before taking Reese’s hand and leading her away, Reese flashing us a conspirator look as she follows him.

“Good day?” Paxton asks as he leans against the bar, looking downright edible in a soft, light green T-shirt and jeans.

“The best,” I answer, shifting away from where Lawson and Blakely are now wrapped up in their own catch-up session, giving my full attention to Paxton. “I really needed that day with them,” I say, indicating Blakely behind me and Reese, wherever she ran off to with Nash. “They helped me sort out some things I’ve been dealing with.” I blow out a breath. “And I feel so much better about everything.”

Their acceptance and support of all the emotions I’m battling regarding Paxton means everything to me.

“Not that you don’t make me feel better,” I hurry to continue. “And everything you’ve been doing is amazing?—”

“I don’t feel left out because Blakely and Reese gave you a great girls’ day,” he says in a soothing tone before he laughs. “I’m not jealous of them and I don’t feel jilted when you say they make you feel better. It’s not athey didorI didcompetition. Your happiness is all that matters, no matter how you get it.”

I open and close my mouth a few times, my heart hiccupping in my chest. He always knows what to say to set me at ease and I’m not sure if I’ve ever appreciated it as much as I do now.

Those feelings, the ones I keep buried, bubble to the surface—all warm and fluttery and painting pictures of a future together with my best friend.

My instinct is to quash them, force them down until I can’t even sense them anymore, but I take Blakely and Reese’s advice and just let them be.

It’s refreshing and calming and exciting at the same time.

I smile at him. “You’ve always had this innate ability to read me,” I say, shaking my head.

“It’s not innate,” he says, grinning. “It’s taken years of practice and sometimes I’m still wrong.”

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