Page 48 of Paxton

What I wouldn'tgiveto know what's going on in Monroe’s mind.

“Let's head out,” Monroe says, looping her arm through mine and practically dragging me down the hallway toward the players’ lot. “I'm starving. And we have to talk about that one Star. He seemed like he was out for blood.” She shakes her head. “I was about to have to jump on the ice and put him in his place,” she continues, sending all four of us laughing as we head to our cars.

Monroe slides into the passenger seat of my car, and I head towardThe Queen’s Rumto celebrate a win with my friends, teammates, and the only girl I've ever loved.

Life doesn't get any better than this.

CHAPTER 16

MONROE

“CanI officially call you my sister-in-law yet or...?” Hadley teases Reese where they sit next to each other across from me and Blakely at our regular table atThe Blue Ox.

The four of us were finally able to align schedules for a much-needed girls’ brunch.

Reese laughs, that superin lovesmile she wears when she's thinking about Nash shaping her lips. “I already think of you as a sister,” she says to Hadley. “No need to put that enormous pressure on it.”

Blakely and I share a look that screams she can tease all she wants but we know that if Nash asked her, she'd say yestomorrow. But I more than anyone understand taking things slow. And understand not wanting to make final decisions about your future like that.

“I guess you're right,” Hadley says, her and Reese laughing as they playfully nudge each other before getting back to their brunch spread.

I take another bite of my sandwich, feeling that warm contentment that comes from being surrounded by your best girlfriends.

“We're just glad you can finally make it to these biweekly brunches now,” Reese says to Hadley.

“Finally graduating after working your ass off twenty-four-seven to get your degree will free up time,” Hadley says after taking a bite of her pancakes. “It still hasn't set in that I'm finally done and ready to go on the job market. I've been working so hard for so long that I'm kind of afraid I won't know how to do a job instead of school.”

“But aren't you taking a break before you officially apply anywhere?” I ask, remembering she said that the last time we met up. Hadley is brilliant in every sense of the word and has a passion for neuroscience and sports medicine that rivals anyone I've ever known.

“Yes,” Hadley answers, leaning back in her seat a little bit. “I’m lucky enough to have a wealthy big brother who’s assured me I need to take a couple months off before I start applying to jobs and start my career for the rest of my forever.” She takes a deep breath. “Man, when you lay out forever like that, it's super intimidating.”

We all laugh at her exaggerated stressed face, and I nod adamantly. “Just because you start a career doesn't mean it has to be your forever,” I try to assure her, knowing full well how terrifyingforevercan be to a person. “You're young and smart and more than talented,” I continue. “The world is literally your oyster. You don't have to lock in anything if you don't want to.”

“That’s sort of refreshing,” Hadley says, returning to her plate and cutting herself off another bite and popping it into her mouth. “Speaking of,” she says, eyeing me before glancing at Reese and Blakely. “How is your living situation going? I've been out of the loop for a few weeks, so fill me in.”

Warmth cascades from the top of my head to the tip of my toes, a sort of solid contentment and excitement swirling in my chest every time I think about my living situation, becauseit directly ties to myintimatesituation, which directly ties to my best friend, which leads to nothing but happy gooey melty feelings.

“That situation is going incredibly well,” I admit, knowing there's no reason to try to hide the swoony feelings I have, especially not from them. “I haven't even considered looking for a new apartment, even though Paxton and I don't have any official labels on anything.”

Blakely and Reese flash me a skeptical look.

“Still shying away from the label thing?” Hadley asks, looking sadly out of the loop. “I feel like I know the reasoning behind that, but I have so much sports neuroscience crammed into my brain right now it might have been shoved out. Enlighten me? You and Paxton seem perfect for each other. If any man looked at me the way Paxton looks at you?” She sighs. “I'd be locking him down. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.”

We all laugh at that, and I can't deny the sense ofrightnessthat crops up in my soul when I think about what she says.

“I've always had a problem with commitment,” I explain briefly. “Growing up with a divorce lawyer mother will do that to a girl. And while my parents have one of those fairy-tale marriages, after seeing what it does to people after my mother helped them get their divorces, it made me question the worth of marriage when stacked against the risk of losing yourself completely.”

“Oh, damn,” Hadley says, nodding. “That would do it. But Paxton...” Her eyes go whimsical. “Again, the way he looks at you, the way you two are together...”

I blow out of breath, glancing at Reese and Blakely who are giving me supportive looks. “I know,” I say, the two words feeling like a confession that opens up the floodgates. “He's my best friend. And I'm totally in love with him.”

Reese and Blakely clap and squeal as if I just told them I won the lottery. Hadley laughs, and I glance around the restaurant, rolling my eyes at the scene we've caused.

“Sorry,” Blakely says to me. “But we've been waiting for you to admit that for like ever.”

“Seriously, Monroe,” Reese adds. “We didn't know if you would say those words.”

“I didn't want to,” I explain. “I didn't want to risk losing him. I've loved him as a best friend far longer than I've beeninlove with him, and when you pit those two against each other it shows you all the scary ways that you can mess it up. But where we're at now?” I smile softly. “It's a dream. He's a dream. He always has been.”

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