Page 53 of Paxton

“But just because you get married doesn't mean you're going to get divorced,” Blakely says. “Not that you're getting married,” she hurries to add. “But even if you did, divorce isn't a certainty. Apossibility. That's the reality all marriages have to look at, but you and Paxton have been friends forever and have weathered so many different conflicts big and small throughout that friendship. I'd say you have a better road map of what marriage would look like than any of us.”

I nod, knowing my friends are right and still feeling like an absoluteshitperson for the hurt I caused earlier.

“I have to figure out a way to fix this,” I say.

“You will,” Blakely says.

“You just need a minute to figure out exactly what you want,” Reese adds. “Pair that with some brutal honesty? And Paxton will listen. He'll understand.”

I blow out a breath.

Blankly scoops up the remote and clicks on the TV. “I'd say we need a really good reality show to distract us.”

I laugh, leaning my head against Blakely’s shoulder. “I feel bad,” I say. “It's already late and we have to get on the bus early tomorrow morning for the away game.”

An away game that Paxton will be at, which make my nerves tangle even tighter in my chest. Luckily, he’ll be on the player bus while I’m on the staff bus, but still, could I be able to figure out what I needed to do to earn his forgiveness by then?

“One episode won't kill us,” Blakely says.

“Yeah, you just need a brain cleanse, and then we'll crash and figure out things in the morning.” Reese adds.

“I love you both,” I say as the documentary starts.

“Love you too,” they both say at the same time and then a silence settles over us, comfortable yet tense for me as I don't really see the documentary play out in front of me, lost in my own head as I explore my heart's needs, and realizing every scenario that I go through is pointing to one clear crystal answer.

I just hope Paxton will listen to me.

My mom’s face fills the screen of my phone, her pre-dawn robe still clinging to her shoulders.

“Are you all right?” she asks by way of answer. “You never FaceTime me before eight a.m.”

“Sorry, I have to head to an away game soon, but I needed to ask you something.”

Mom looks me over, the eyes that match mine likely sizing up how exhausted I look. “What happened?”

“I’m fine,” I assure her. “Kind of. Just…” I sigh. “Old trauma is making my present life a bitch.”

Mom’s brow furrows, but she waits for me to continue.

“Marriage,” I hedge. “You still believe in it?”

“Clearly,” she says. “Or I wouldn’t still be hanging around with your dad.” Just the mention of Dad as has eyes lighting up in a way I’m not even sure she notices.

My heart fills with hope.

“If you were going to propose to someone, would you wait until you could create some big epic presentation or act on the moment?”

She gasps, her hands covering her mouth for a moment. “Are you and Paxton getting engaged?”

I clench my eyes shut, but can’t hide my smile. Reality quickly wipes it away. “If I can fix things, maybe.”

“I always knew you two were heading down this road!” She squeals, then tilts her head. “What do you meanfixthings?”

“I may have overreacted about something yesterday. It was our first fight ever. I don’t know if he’ll hear me out?—”

“Oh, yes he will.” She waves me off. “Couples fight. It’s normal. Fighting doesn’t equate to a breakup.”

I nod, taking the encouragement, especially from an expert like her.

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