Page 32 of Twisted Desire

I drop my hand and step back. “Then why the hell am I naked, Nikolai?” My tone is low, and the crack in my voice makes anger ripple through me.

He thrusts his fingers through his hair. “Shit, that’s not—” He steps toward me, grabbing my hands and holding them against his chest where I can feel his heart hammering. “What we’ve been doing since we met. The meaningless sex. That’s what I don’t want.” He brings my hands to his mouth and kisses them. “You mean so much to me, Skylar.”

Dread coils tight in my chest, and my stomach churns. “We shouldn’t do this,” I tell him in a small voice.

His brows knit. “Listen, I know—”

“No,” I snap, pulling my hands away from him, “youdon’tknow. Anything.”

“Because you won’ttellme anything.”

I cross my arms over my bare chest, suddenly very aware of how naked I am.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he says.

I want to tell him I know that. That Iwantto tell him things, but I can’t.

But why not?The voice at the back of my head sounds eerily like Aurora’s mom.

Nikolai has been there for me every step of the way since I lost the most important people in my life. As much as he pisses me off, I piss him off equally. I can’t help but think about what will happen if I let him in and he betrays me, or if something bad happens to him. At this point, I’m not sure I would survive it.

“Talk to me,” he urges, lifting his hand to my cheek and tilting my face to look at him.

“Nikolai, I...” I shake my head, letting out a heavy sigh.

“Skylar.” His fingers brush along my cheek. “Let me in. Please.”

My heart is pounding so hard, I’m afraid it’ll burst through my ribcage. “I don’t...” I look away. “Fuck, I’m so scared,” I whisper.

“I know.” He reaches for my hands, squeezing them gently. “I’m right here. I’m not going to let anything bad happen to you.”

Exhaling slowly, I close my eyes. “Okay.”

“Just breathe,” he murmurs, wrapping the duvet around me so I’m no longer exposed.

I inhale until my lungs are full, pause, and then let the air out. After I’ve done it a few more times, my heart is finally beating at a somewhat normal pace. Fear still races through me, but I feel anchored to Nikolai; I know I’m safe. I grip his hands tighter, swallow hard, and crack myself open to him, to the memory I’ve kept hidden in the darkest part of me.

It was the annual Westbrook Hotel charity gala. I’d been a few times before, but never with a date. The invitation always allowed for myself and a plus one, but this was the first year I had someone I wanted my peers to see me with. All day I’d hoped Sebastian would be on his best behavior. I practiced how I would act, knowing I had to be careful not to do or say anything that would upset him.

The night had been going well. We ate dinner, danced, and laughed. I was having a wonderful time—until Sebastian started drinking. I knew after the second drink I’d made a huge mistake bringing him here. He could act charming enough to the people around us, but when he started getting inappropriate with the wait staff, I had to get him out of there. I headed for the doors to the patio and garden outside the ballroom, knowing he’d follow.

“Get the fuck over here, you bitch.” Sebastian’s voice made me shiver. It was no longer from pleasure but from fear. It had been that way for a while now.

I froze, turning to face him. “I’m sorry,” I rushed to say, “I needed some air.”And to get you out of there,I didn’t add.

He laughed, and I could smell the alcohol on his breath. “Of course. Youneededsome air. You alwaysneedsomething.”

A couple sitting at the fountain a handful of feet away glanced over at us, and I cringed. The last thing I wanted to do was have some stuck-up fae think low of me.

“Let’s go.” I reached for his hand, but he ripped it away.

“No,” he growled, his hair falling into his face. He didn’t bother to gel it back, to put any effort into his appearance tonight, really. He picked out what I was wearing, but didn’t put much thought into his own attire. “I’m not ready to leave.”

“Okay, let’s stay out here. Maybe we can dance?” I offered, forcing a smile, and prayed he’d soften.

He closed the space between us and slid his arm around my waist, hauling me against him. “You want to dance?” His lips traced my ear. “How about I dance you right up against this building and fuck you like you deserve?”

He might as well have punched the air out of my lungs.

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