Page 16 of Twisted Gift

Okay, I can sort of see why Tristan doesn’t like this guy. He can be a bit much at times, but while he’s helping me, I’m going to have to deal with it. Until I know I can feed without fear of hurting someone, I need him.

Allison and Tristan would both hate me not going to them for help, but I can’t. They’re too important. Nikolai doesn’t know me. He’s someone I can learn from, and once I’m strong enough on my own, I can let him go. I don’t want my friends, the people I care about, to have me to worry about. Nikolai, on the other hand, seems to enjoy showing me the ropes.

If I’m going to lead the light fae out of this war with the dark, I need to learn—fast.

“How many times, like, a month or whatever, do we have to feed, anyway?”

“Depends on the fae. You’ve gotten away without feeding so long because you were turned. Those of us who were born fae have to feed more often, though high-ranked fae, like Tristan, for example, don’t have to feed as much.” That’s right. I remember him telling me that the night he saved me from the fae poison.

“How much do you think I’ll need to feed?”

He shrugs. “There are no real guidelines to go by. It’ll be a learn-as-we-go process.”

I’m not sure what I was hoping to hear—probably that I didn’t have to feed at all, which is absurd—but the weight on my chest feels heavier.

Nikolai wolfs down his food, cleaning his plate, while I pick at the fruit in front of me. After looking at the yogurt and granola, I decide not to risk it. My stomach is too iffy to try something I’m not sure it’ll accept. I’m hoping that once I feed, I can go back to eating like normal.

With breakfast over, we head down the sidewalk. I don’t know where we’re going, so I’m following Nikolai. I question feeding so soon after eating human food, to which Nikolai explains that eating fills our stomachs, while feeding boosts our energy and fae abilities—most of which I’m still too freaked out to try.

“It’s not far from here. You good to walk?”

I nod. “So these humans know about the fae? Or do they have their memories wiped?”

He shrugs. “It depends on the human. They’re extensively evaluated after their first feeding session to see if they’re likely to commit to more, and if not, someone from the security team will erase any memories that human has attached to the fae.”

“Right. But there are some who keep their memories?” That sounds as if it has the potential to be dangerous. Aren’t they worried about exposure?

“Yes,” he answers. “Feeding can be addictive for both parties but usually more so for the human. They enjoy it, and most want to continue being fed from. They live in a controlled environment, and most live normal, mundane lives outside of the feeder units.”

“How many units are there?” I suppose I should be relieved there are places fae can feed safely.

“In Rockdale? Last I heard there were ten, but more will open in the future. It’s a safer alternative to feeding in public.”

“You don’t seem concerned about doing that,” I mutter.

He chuckles. “That’s because I’ve been feeding for a long time, Aurora. I’m good at it. I won’t hurt anyone. Feeding from crowds like that is safer than taking from an individual.”

I nod. “How old are you exactly?” I ask hesitantly.

He traces his tongue over his bottom lip and smirks a bit. “Old.”

I shiver involuntarily. “Like first fae war old?”

He laughs. “Not quite. Older than Tristan, though.”

“Hmm.” I scratch the back of my head. He doesn’t seem open to giving me his actual age at this point, so I move on. “Do a lot of the fae use these feeder units?”

“Some. Both light and dark, though we tend to stick to different units. Others don’t like feeding in such a controlled environment.”

Those fae probably aren’t concerned about hurting humans as I am. That’s why I’m reluctant to feed. It stems from this deep-rooted fear I have that I’ll lose control while feeding and won’t be able to stop.

Several blocks later, we come to a stop outside a plain-looking storefront. The small window is tinted, and the door is a solid sheet of dark gray metal. It doesn’t appear welcoming in the least, but that’s probably the point. Unless you know what it’s there for, the fae don’t want you to pay it any attention.

Nikolai steps in front of me, leading us around the side of the building through a narrow, damp alley, and stops at another metal door. I stand frozen beside him; my heart is ticking faster, and my palms are clammy. My body is reacting as ifI’mthe one that’s going to be fed from. I shouldn’t be this nervous, not with Nikolai here, but I can’t shake the unease.

“Aurora,” he says. “You’re going to do fine. Once you get through one feed, it’ll be a breeze, and you’ll start to feel like yourself again.”

Inhaling through my nose, I hold my breath for a moment before letting it out through my mouth, a technique I learned after my anxiety started really affecting me. “Okay,” I say. “Let’s go.”

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