Page 104 of Taken By the Fae

She nods, her eyes filled with understanding. “Don’t think we’re done with the feeding conversation, though. Are you ready to do this now?”

I chew my lip. “I think so?”

“You need to visualize your emotions. What makes it easier for me is to associate a specific color for each different emotion you’re feeling. Love is red, blue is sadness, green is concern or worry—you get the idea.”

“Seems simple enough.” I run through what she said and close my eyes, trying to picture each emotion I’m feeling as a burst of color radiating from my chest. Right now, it’s uncertainty, which I see as a muddied brown color, and fear, which is orange. “Can you see it?” I ask her.

“Yes.”

“I get the color thing. How do I make it disappear?”

“This is where it gets tricky.”

“What do I need to do?”

“We all do it differently. I visualize myself wrapping those colors up in a blanket.”

“Okay.” I try it her way. She can still see it.

We go back and forth for almost an hour. She tries suggesting different ways of shielding what I’m experiencing, but nothing sticks. She lets her emotions show for a minute, and I watch her process of hiding them. Even when she verbalizes what she’s doing as she’s doing it, I can’t pick up her technique.

I ball my hands into fists so I don’t lash out and hit something in frustration.

Allison gives me a sympathetic look. “Keep trying. No giving up.”

I arch a brow at her. “Nice pep talk, coach.”

“Thank you. I’ve been thinking of becoming a motivational speaker.”

I crack a smile. “Don’t count on it.”

She whistles. “Ouch. Come on. Try again.”

With a deep breath, I try something else. Instead of trying to cover up what I’m feeling, I try to pull it into myself. I picture myself grabbing the orbs of color in my fists and pulling on them, yanking them into my chest. It’s painful in the weirdest way. Almost like an anxiety attack, where I’m feeling everything too strong, all at once, but there’s something different about it. I’m controlling it. It’s not something I don’t understand, and knowing I can make it stop when I want makes it bearable.

“I don’t know what you’re doing, but I can’t see anything.”

I exhale. “I did it?”

She smiles, nodding. “I wish I could say the rest of what you’ll encounter as a fae will be this easy to overcome, but this is about the easiest thing to get a handle on. So, what’s next? Shifting? Mental manipulation?”

“That’s enough for now.” As for the shifting—it was something I found creepy as hell as a human. It’s not something Iwantto learn how to do, at least not now. “Thank you for showing me the shielding thing. Now I don’t have to worry about the fae being able to see my emotional meltdowns.”

“Of course. I’m glad you’re letting me help you.” She presses her lips together as if there’s something more she wants to say.

“What?”

“Why are you willing to let me help you with this, yet you’re avoiding Tristan?”

My brows inch closer, and I chew my bottom lip. “It’s… I can’t look at him, Al. I know he blames himself for what happened, because he wasn’t there to kill Jules like we’d planned. I see that guilt in his eyes and I can’t stand it. Maybe it’ll go away in time, but for now…” I trail off, shrugging as I drag my finger through the condensation on my glass.

“I understand that, and I’m so sorry.” She sighs. “In the interest of transparency, you should know he offered me a job. I start officially after graduation.”

My stomach dips at the shocking news. “For what?”

“My official title is media coordinator. I’ll handle all the hotel’s online presence stuff. It’s pretty awesome. I’ve been hanging out there a lot in between classes, training and whatnot.” Considering she’s spent thousands of dollars getting a media degree, this is a great opportunity.

I manage a smile. “Allison, that is amazing. Congratulations.”

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