Page 172 of Taken By the Fae

“I’m alive, Nik,” I cut him off.

“You’ve gone from being a human to being a fae to being human again. None of which was by any choice of your own.”

“Thanks for the reminder.” I haven’t stopped thinking about it since the moment I realized I was no longer fae—that I’ll die one day and Tristan won’t. That alone scares the ever-living crap out of me. Even in death, the idea of not being with Tristan makes me want to sob.

I didn’t even get the chance to enjoy being fae. I struggled through the beginning,a lot, and once I was getting the hang of it, it was taken away from me against my will.

“Talk to me,” Nikolai murmurs.

“I’m scared,” I admit. “I’ve never been through something so awful. And I know Tristan and Skylar are in pain as well, but losing someone you love is a different kind of torture than losing yourself.”

“Are you sad to be human again?”

“Yes and no. I’m sad I never really got to kick ass as a fae, but I’m also relieved. The whole feeding on human energy thing… I’m not sure I’d ever be completely okay with it.” And there it is. The answer I’ve been searching for inside myself since the conversation I had with Tristan last night. I didn’t want to be fae when I changed after killing Jules, and I still don’t.

“It’s not for everyone,” he agrees with a small smile.

“Yeah, we’re not all as awesome as you,” I remark in a dry tone.

He smirks. “Ain’t that the truth.”

I roll my eyes, but Nikolai’s light, joking attitude makes me feel better.

His expression smoothes and becomes more serious. “Fae or not, I’m still here for you, gorgeous.”

An unexpected smile touches my lips, and I step forward to hug him. “Thank you,” I say against his shoulder before I pull away. “I’d like it if nothing changed between us. I’d miss your annoying antics too much.”

“Yeah?” he checks.

“Yeah, I guess I still need you.” I glance back at the door behind him. “You should get back in there.”

“Okay,” he says, “but you know where I am if you need anything.”

“Thanks.” I start to turn away before I remember what I told Tristan last night. “Nik?”

He turns back. “Yeah?”

“Can you get Max’s sister’s phone number and text it to me? Tristan said Skylar has it.”

“You got it.”

I head back to Tristan’s bedroom, only to find it empty. “Seriously?” I groan as I back out of the room.

When my phone goes off, I pull it out and see Mom’s name on the screen. I sigh and bite the inside of my cheek. I’ve barely spoken to my family in weeks. If they knew half of the shit I’ve been dealing with—they can never know.

Sending the call to voicemail, I type her a quick message so she doesn’t worry.

Sorry we haven’t talked in a while. Things have been crazy around here. Can I call you tomorrow? Love you guys.

I make my way to Tristan’s office, where I find him sitting behind the desk with a glass of amber liquid in his hand.

Setting the glass down when I walk in, he looks over at me.

“It’s not even eleven in the morning, Tris,” I say softly as I approach the desk. “Did you want me to make you something to eat?”

He drags his gaze up my body. “No.”

I frown as I take in his appearance. He looks even worse than he did last night. His face is pasty, his eyes are bloodshot and underlined by dark circles. Not to mention the current disarray of his hair.

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