Page 55 of The Devil's Waltz

Harper and I already guessed I was targeted by Xander because of the position my parents hold in the hunter organization, but having itconfirmed makes my stomach coil with dread.

I shake my head, unable to form words. Without the hunters, demons would run rampant. Humans would have no defense against the monsters that feed on their fear—there would be mass chaos. It would be literal hell on earth.

“How—” My voice cracks, and I clear my throat. “How can you be okay with that?” It’s a stupid question, one I fully expect him to dodge.

“I’m not.” His words make my breath hitch. “At least, part of me isn’t.” He rakes a hand through his hair, exhaling heavily. Lowering his voice, he says, “My mother may be the queen of hell, Camille, but my father wasn’t a demon. He was human.”

I stare at him with wide eyes. “I—What…what does that mean?”

He chuckles humorlessly. “It means, as Blake loves to remind me, he is more demon than I am.”

I shake my head, not following.

“It means,” he continues, “I’m part demon—and part human.”

Part human.

There’s no stopping my thoughts from immediately going to what that means for us. It’s selfish, considering he just told me his mother wants to essentially allow demons to take control, but I can’t help it. Because if there’s any world where I don’t have to watch my best friend and family hunt the guy I have feelings for, I can’t deny wanting that.

His hand reaches for mine. I should pull away, but I don’t have the strength to resist when he entwines our fingers and guides me around to face the water again.

My back touches his chest, and I’m leaning into him before I can stop myself. When he does things like this, it’s so easy to get caught up in the desire I feel for it to be real. Maybe in some ways it is. Except Xander is still a demon, still the prince of hell. A lump forms in my throat when he presses his lips against the side of my head, and I decide that I would give anything to stay in this moment forever.

But we can’t.

After this weekend, we’ll go back to Seattle. He’ll still be the enemy.

“Is this what you want?” I murmur before I can think otherwise. There’s humanity somewhere in him. I can’t be sure how strong it is, but I’m going to test it. I’m going to find a way to get past his demon side and through to his human side. The part of him that clearly cares for me.

“Hmm?” His voice is right at my ear, sending a shiver down my spine.

I stare out at the glittering darkness, the moon reflected in the water. “Us,” I whisper, then boldly add, “like this.”

“I’m here, aren’t I?” His voice is gentle but cool, building a wall between us.

It makes me want to take the words back and continue standing in silence. Pretending we can be more than this fleeting moment allows us. The thought that he could want it too fills me with a profound sadness, opening a chasm in my chest. It squeezes the air from my lungs, the sensation so painful it threatens to bring me to my knees. Because this is so much bigger than either of us. What we want is nothing compared to the stakes held by both sides.

Whoever saidknowledge is powerevidently never experienced the blissfulness of ignorance.

I hesitate before turning to face Xander. Lifting my eyes to meet his, my resolve almost crumbles at the vulnerable softness in his expression, but I grip it tightly. “Are you going to try to persuade me to help Lucia with her twisted plan to take down the hunters?”

He wets his lips, and my gaze drops to his mouth before I force it back up. “That’s what she wants me to do,” he finally answers.

I nod slowly. “And you?”

His eyes flick between mine. “What about me?”

“What doyouwant?”

“It’s not about me,” he says simply, as if he has no skin in this game, as if the outcome doesn’t matter to him.

Irritation tugs at me, and I shake my head. “That’s bullshit, and you—”

His lips crash against mine, sealing us together, and damning us all the same.

Our mouths dance, setting my body ablaze as I pull him closer, gripping the front of his shirt in my fist. He makes a sound at the back of his throat, as if I’m hurting him, but I don’t stop. If I’m going down, I’m dragging him with me. We’ll burn together.

Xander nips my lower lip, and I gasp into his mouth. His lips curve against mine as he deepens the kiss, flicking his tongue out to graze mine and sending my pulse racing.

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