Page 85 of The Devil's Waltz

No doubt Xander and Blake can feel it—the dark cloud threatening to consume me from the inside.

The possibility that either or both demons I’m sharing a room with might feed on that fear fills my thoughts. I’ve never been fed on, but I’ve heard different stories on how it feels. Both sickeningly awful and blissfully numbing depending on the scenario. I’m not prepared to find out myself.

Xander nods. “It can be done, which is why she’s concerned about the demons turning against her. She knows if she doesn’t secure their loyalty by any means necessary, she can be overpowered. That said, it’s going to take precise planning and near-perfect timing to work.”

What he’s saying objectively makes sense, but it has my head spinning as I try to sort through the emotions at war in my chest.

“If we do this and something goes wrong, a lot of people are going to die,” I say, swallowing hard to force the bile down my throat.

“If wedon’tdo this, a lot of people are going to die,” Blake points out, and I don’t have a rebuttal, because he isn’t wrong.

I want to shoot down this plan, to demand an opportunity to come up with something else. Unfortunately, though, time is not on our side, whichleaves me very little choice but to trust Xander enough to get on board with this plan.

“There’s no chance just the three of us can pull this off. I want to talk to Harper about it and see what she thinks. If we can get some hunters to help, that will at least increase our odds of success.”

Blake’s brows lift, but before he can say anything, Xander chimes in, “We won’t refuse their help, so long as we can come to some sort of understanding that allows both sides to trust each other for the purposes of this…mission.”

I nod. “If Harper—or any hunter, for that matter—is going to be involved, they’ll want to be part of hashing out the specifics.”

“Yes,” Xander agrees, “and we’ll have that conversation once you’ve had a chance to speak with her.”

Silence stretches between us for several beats before a sigh escapes me. “Okay,” I find myself saying, pressing my lips together for a moment before I lock eyes with Xander and finally ask the question that’s been dying to escape since he told me about sending Lucia back to hell. “Why are you doing this?”

His brows inch closer and his expression softens so briefly, I almost miss it. But the flutter in my stomach confirms what I saw. “It’s what needs to be done. Lucia has been completely consumed by her power.”

I nod along, pulling away from him. The pit in my stomach tells me that wasn’t the answer I was hoping for.

You wanted it to be about what he feels for you, an annoyingly familiar voice at the back of my head says, and I hate that it’s not wrong.

“And I’m helping,” Blake chimes in again, “because the danger of potential brutal, violent death is such a rush.”

I arch a brow at him. “I don’t know how to respond to that.”

Xander coughs on a laugh. “Blake is helping because as much as he’d love for everyone to think he doesn’t give a shit about anything—”

“Hey now,” Blake cuts in, pouting childishly. “I never said I don’t give a shit aboutanything, just that very few things are interesting or entertaining enough to earn my attention.”

“So you’re just unbelievably arrogant?” I offer dryly.

He shrugs. “I care about Xander. He says he needs help sending his crazy-ass mother back to hell. I’m going to be the first one to put my life on the line to make it happen.”

“Really?” I question without thinking, and I can’t keep the surprise out of my voice.

Blake nods, his expression completely serious and his tone confident when he says, “He’d do the same for me.”

I lick the dryness from my lips and glance between the demons. After a deep breath, I say, “I think it’s time for that drink.”

The car is deafeningly silent as Xander drives me back to the Upper West Side. I stare out the windshield, my hands clasped in my lap and my head still spinning with all the possible outcomes of this plan to send Lucia back to hell.

He pulls up to the curb outside the condo. I’m not surprised he knows where it is despite my lack of direction, but the thought of any other demons knowing where my dad lives makes me uneasy. I fully believe he’s skilled enough to defend himself, but that doesn’t lessen the worry in my chest.

I turn to Xander when he shuts off the car. “Are you sure about this?”

“About which part?” he asks.

I frown, unbuckling my belt so I can angle myself toward him. “I don’t know,” I admit. “This all seems so sudden. One day you’re saying I need to join you on the dark side or whatever, and now…” I trail off. “I’m trying to understand what changed. What has you in a place where you’re now willing—eager even—to betray your queen? Yourfamily.”

Xander nods, turning to face me. “I have no delusions that Lucia cares for me as anything more than a pawn in her twisted game for power and control. The longer it goes on, the harder I find it to follow her with blind obedience. I struggle with that pull to serve her, but my own desires are getting stronger every day.”

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