Page 14 of The Devil's Trials

“It wasn’t,” he cuts in, stealing more of the space between us. He’s close enough now I could reach out and touch him, but I keep my hands glued to my sides.

“Choosing between Lucia and you was the easiest decision I’ve ever made. Everything that’s come since, however…” He trails off, pulling his hands from his pockets and flexing them.

“Taking the throne,” I offer.

Xander purses his lips, a conflicted expression passing over his features. He looks tired now that I’m seeing him up close, his eyes shadowed by the dark circles beneath them. “I haven’t taken anything,” he says. “I have to earn it. Prove myself worthy of it through the ascension trials.”

My brows lift. I’m not sure why I didn’t think there’d be more to it than killing the queen to take her place. “Is that why you’re here? Is this part of your trials?”

He shakes his head. “I had to see you before it all starts.”

I stare at him as understanding washes over me. “Because once it does…” I trail off. The ‘we can’t be together’ goes without saying.

“Once it does,” he echoes in agreement, nodding. “I don’t know who—whatI’ll become, just that I won’t be good for you.”

I stare at him, resenting the burn in my eyes. The carpet continues to be pulled out from under me again and again. “You’ve gone ahead and decided this for me, have you?”

“Camille—”

“No,” I interrupt harshly. “You did this. You fucked up, Xander.” I bite the inside of my cheek, willing the burning in my eyes to recede. I can’t lose it right now. I willnotcry in front of him. “If you had just stuck to the plan, none of this would be happening, and we could—”

“We could what?” His brows tug closer, and he shakes his head. “Live happily ever after? You’re not naive enough to believe that.”

Xander’s words are as sharp and painful as a slap to the face. I swallow past the lump in my throat, praying my voice doesn’t crack. “Get out.”

His expression softens just enough I notice the subtle shift. “I didn’t come here to fight with you.”

“No, evidently you came here to break up with me—even though we aren’t together.” Despite my words, the feeling of my chest caving in threatens to steal my breath as I cross my arms.

He still doesn’t move. “I’m sorry.”

His words ignite fire in my gut, making my cheeks flush with warmth. “I don’t believe you.”

“I know,” he says in a low voice.

I exhale a heavy breath. “Just…Get out. Now.”

The glimmer of darkness in his eyes makes me think he’s going to refuse. That there’s more he needs to say. But after staring at me a moment longer, he turns and walks to the door, leaving without another word.

I rush to the door, shoving the lock over as the burning in my eyes becomes impossible to fight back.

Tears spill down my cheeks, and I fall against the door, choking on the lump in my throat. My chest tightens until I’m desperately trying topull air into my lungs, and I slide to the floor as my shoulders shake with silent sobs.

I let myself cry until I can’t stand sitting on the floor any longer. Only then do I force myself up and go to my room, where I push the clothes I’d been sorting earlier off my bed and crawl under the covers.

Tossing and turning, I struggle to find a halfway comfortable position, cozy enough for the thralls of sleep to come.

When I open my eyes, my blood runs cold.

No, no, no.

I’m back in that place, that room. Lucia sits upon her throne, looking every bit as chillingly regal as she did that day.

I try to move, but I can’t. I’m stuck in place against the wall, watching the horror unfold exactly as it did the first time. And when Lucia appears in front of me, fingers wrapped around my throat, my lips part in a silent scream. Not for fear of my own life. But for what I know is coming. I’m powerless to stop it, forced to watch Xander take his mother’s life again.

It’s not real.

It’s not real.