Page 31 of The Devil's Trials

Wait, what?

The mental ping pong from Xander to Noah throws me off kilter, and the surge of conflicting emotions does nothing to ease my anxiety.

“Nothing,” he murmurs, and I realize then how close he’s standing when his breath skates across my cheeks, making heat bloom in them.

“Why are you here so late?” I ask, unable to stand the brief silence.

“It’s the only time I know for sure I’ll have the place to myself.” Amusement flashes across his features. “Well,usually.”

“Right,” I mumble, going to step back. “I can go.”

Noah moves swiftly, catching my wrist and holding me in place before him. “That’s not what I meant.”

My breath catches, my gaze dropping to where his fingers wrap around my wrist. “I, um, I’m not really in the headspace to train. I think I’m just going to go back upstairs.”

When I go to pull back, Noah doesn’t release me.

My eyes fly to his, where I find concern mixed with a hint of suspicion that kicks my pulse up.

“Noah—”

“What is going on with you tonight?”

I immediately shake my head. There’s no way I’m going to tell him about seeing Blake. Certainly not about thinking of Xander every minute I’m awake, my only reprieve from him being when I’m asleep. “Nothing.”

“Bullshit,” he says, though his voice isn’t harsh. He’s worried about me, which has the risk of leading to questions I really don’t want to answer. Except I know he won’t let it go.

Before I can consider what a terrible idea it is, I’m on my tiptoes, planting my mouth on his.

Noah stiffens…and then he’s kissing me back.

Noah is kissing me.

The crisp, sandalwood scent of his cologne overwhelms me as he buries his fingers in my hair and I drape my arms over his shoulders. My eyes fall shut of their own volition, my mouth moving with his and my heart lurching when his other hand curls around my hip and tugs me against him.

Shit, shit, shit. What am I doing?

I tear my lips from his, gulping down an unsteady breath as I blink quickly and back toward the door. Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, I shake my head at a stunned-looking Noah before spinning around and fleeing the gym, my cheeks flaming and my stomach heavy with guilt.

I practically sprint through the garage, not stopping until I’m in the elevator going back to my floor. I pull my phone out of my pocket, willing my hands to stop shaking as I fumble through a text to Harper.

I know it’s late but I need to talk to you.

She hasn’t answered by the time I reach my apartment, so I resign myself to pacing the living room. My head doesn’t stop spinning even as my pulse slowly returns to a somewhat normal pace. Pausing in the middle of the room, I can’t help but lift my fingers to my swollen lips.

Fuck. Me.

Pressure unfurls in my chest. It’s brought on by the dark tendrils of guilt that the kiss even happened, but more so that I enjoyed it. It was meant to be a distraction. I was desperate and panicked. I didn’t want Noah pushing me and then spilling about Blake coming to see me. There would’ve been zero chance of me convincing Noah to not report that to the organization. And considering what Blake told me about the council and the trials, Xander has enough to deal with.

I shouldn’t be worried about that. I’ve tried not to care. But I…can’t do it. I can’t just turn off what I feel for him because he broke my heart.

I fucking wish it was that easy.

I drop onto the couch and grab the closest pillow, pressing my face into it and groaning.

Tonight has been an utter shit show. Why couldn’t I have fallen asleep and avoided seeing Blake and kissing Noah?

My phone buzzes, and I shift to pull it out, relief flooding through me when Harper’s name fills the screen. I answer the call, but she speaks before I can get a word in.