Page 49 of The Devil's Trials

The drive home is painfully quiet, and Noah sends me a curt, “I’ll talk to you later,” when we get back to the apartment before we part ways.

I curse myself the entire walk from the elevator to my place, slamming the door behind me with a loud groan to the empty entryway, then make sure to lock the door before I trudge through my living room and into the bathroom to take a shower.

Standing under the hot spray of water, I scrub my scalp and skin until everything is tingling and smelling of my coconut body wash.

Why is this so fucking confusing?

Why did I have to meet Xander in the first place?

A wave of dizziness rushes over me, and I press my forehead to the cool shower tile, focusing on my breathing. Inhaling slowly, holding it for a few seconds, and exhaling.

The more I consider it, the more I can’t stop myself from wondering…If Xander and I hadn’t met that night at Hallowed Grounds, would fate have brought us together another time?

Except, it wasn’t fate. Xander orchestrated that night to get close to me in service of his mother’s agenda. Though at some point it became more than that, which makes considering my life without Xandernausea-inducing to the point I reach to shut off the water and get out of the shower.

I’m getting changed when there’s a soft knock at my door. I consider ignoring it for fear that it’s Noah. But when the knock comes again, I tug on a hoodie and pad to the door, looking through the peephole to find my dad standing in the hallway sporting a casual navy polo shirt, jeans, and loafers.

Opening the door, I smile at him. “I didn’t know you were coming by.”

He steps inside, wrapping me in a hug that pushes the nausea away almost completely, instead filling my senses with the woodsy scent of his aftershave. It’s the one he’s always used, and the smell brings me a semblance of comfort. “Just wanted to check in, kiddo.” He kisses the top of my head. “I like having you in the city. Being able to drop by and see you is nice. I wish I had a chance to come before now, but things have been a bit more chaotic at the office lately.”

“Yeah, I’m glad you’re here,” I say, doing my best to ignore the unspoken reason for his chaos at work. “I, uh, don’t have much in the way of groceries, but we could order something if you want to stay for lunch?”

“I’d love that.”

Half an hour later, we’re sitting at the small dining table eating takeout from the Thai place around the corner.

“How are you liking this place?” Dad asks, taking a sip of water as he glances around the apartment.

Luckily, it came furnished with the basics. As much as part of me wants to decorate and make the space feel more like mine, I don’t know how long I’m going to be living here. That, and I really haven’t had the motivation to put in any effort.

I push the noodles around my plate. “It’s nice, but I miss Harper.” I’ve never lived alone—I was with my mom until my first year at the University of Washington. It’s only been a couple of weeks, but I’ve already decided I don’t enjoy being alone so much. It’s practically an open invitation for my anxiety to rear its ugly head.

“That’s understandable,” Dad says with a thoughtful smile. “I’m sure she misses you.”

I manage a small smile in return. “Have there been any developments…?” My voice trails off. I don’t think I can bring myself to say the words, but, thankfully, Dad understands what I’m asking.

He shakes his head. “Things are quiet, which isn’t a good or bad thing at this point. Whatisgood is that the number of demon attacks has decreased since the queen was executed.”

Considering Lucia was responsible for many of them, it makes sense.

I nod, forcing myself to lift a forkful of noodles to my mouth. I chew slowly, reaching for my glass of water as Dad clears his throat.

“Do you want to talk about it? I know—” He pauses, as if he’s debating how to craft what he wants to continue. “You were involved with Xander before all of this happened.”

I stare at my plate. “I’m not sure what to say. The head of the hunter organization doesn’t need to hear about his daughter’s feelings for a demon.”

“Camille,” he says in a voice that makes me meet his gaze across the table. “I’m not asking in any official capacity. I’m asking as your father because I’m concerned about you.”

The tears that prick my eyes aren’t surprising, but I still try to blink them away before they can slip down my cheeks. Pressing my lips together against the words desperate to escape, a fiery pressure builds in my chest until I can’t hold them back a second longer. I suck in a sharp breath. “I’m not ready to give up on him, Dad, and that scares me. I’m terrified the person I fell in love with is gone. That he doesn’t care about me anymore.”

His brows knit as he sets his fork on his plate. “And if he doesn’t?”

“I can’t imagine anything hurting more than this, but I’m scared that it would.” I lean back in my chair, tearing small pieces off the napkin in my lap.

“You underestimate your own strength, kiddo. I’m not saying it would be easy, but I have no doubt you’d handle it with grace.”

“I don’t want to, though,” I admit quietly, unable to grasp a false bravado at this moment. “I don’t want any of this.”

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