Page 28 of Unwritten Rules

“Also,” she added, “when did you become such a nihilist? Is that jacket giving you bad vibes or something? You know what, that’s it. I’m going to burn sage across the house.”

“Isn’t sage for bad spirits? I’m not sure it will, you know,” I waved my hands in the air, “disperse bad vibes.”

She pointed a finger at me. “One more word about bad vibes and I’ll do it!”

We came into view of a few houses having rushing info sessions and I wanted to tour at least a few of them. Look at all my options and whatnot. I’m sure my mom would encourage me to try these things out like she did with everything else in my life.

...If I could handle that much pink. Kelly may have been onto something when she gave me pushback on the idea. The amount of pink I saw surely ran the paint company dry.

Hesitantly, I looked back to Kelly as we stepped out of the car. “Do you remember which houses we were supposed to avoid? The two that the one girl was talking about?”

She looked at me like I asked her an advanced calculus question. “Babe, they all sound the exact same to me. Alpha, beta, kappa, gamma, blah blah. I don’t think Icouldremember if you held a gun to my head.”

Hopefully we don’t run into any unfriendlies, then.

The first house we approached was pink, naturally. It had a Texas-looking theme about the party and probably some southern bombshells inside.

And a bombshell, I was not.

We entered anyway, deciding to make the best of the day we planned. A girl ran out. “Hi, y’all!” She had areallyoverdone southern accent. “Welcome to Kappa Phi Delta, we are here to help you scout out houses to rush! Oh, don’t you two look so cute.”

I mustered a small smile and a wave. It was awkward. “We’re just browsing today. I’m not completely sure if I’ll rush this year.”

“Oh, honey! You are welcome here in whatever year you are in.” She came a little closer and lowered her voice. “Just between you and me, avoid Beta Kappa Phi and Theta Nu. The former being worse than the latter.”

“I think another girl who invited us to rush week told us the same,” I whispered back.

“Don’t let the scary stories frighten you, darlin’. Lots of the houses out here look out for one another, just as the good Lord intended women do.” She ran her hand in a gentle circle on my back and gave us a wide smile. “Now, tell me all about yourselves!”

We left theverysouthern house about as quickly as we came with a semi-confusing series of directions to Phi Beta Lambda, the house we were originally invited to the first week of classes. Kelly looked even more weirded out by the way all the girls seemed to have this cult-like manner about them.

“I think she meant this way, but I don’t know if I could handle another, uh, rodeo.” She pointed in the direction of two other parties going on.

I shrugged. “At this point, I don’t mind just exploring and getting free food and drinks. I am somewhat terrified of coming into contact with Beta Kappa Phi. Did you hear what those girls were saying about that Sloane character?”

“That she’s a ruthless she-devil? I mean, you can’t know for sure until you meet her, but if she runs the most prestigious sorority on campus with an all-star legacy, that clearly means business.” Since when did we swap our outlooks?

“Maybe you’re right, but stop being so optimistic. It’s weird. Just like the scary stories about some girl here on campus.”

At another house, we decided to enter the party and ask around about which house it was. Inside the entrance, it was apparent with a sign reading Phi Beta Lambda.Easy enough.

This house–thank God–hadfarless pink everywhere and more real life colors. The girls didn’t feel like they were in weird cult uniforms and no one had the same creepy updo to their hair. The only ones holding some form of uniform were the group of eight girls running the party.

“Hey, I know you two,” a girl in a pink shirt came running up to us, waving and smiling.

It definitely felt less weird in this house. “You invited us on the first day of classes. We decided to pop by and see what you guys were all about.”

She beamed at us, taking us by our hands. “I’m Veronica! Let’s go to the main room. We’re having snacks!”

Kelly looked over at me, questioning what the heck this girl was doing dragging us along with her. I nodded back at her with a “just go with it” look.

We chatted and socialized with normal people this time around. Snacks and drinks were delicious and I was happy I didn’t have to scrounge around for dinner later. A few girls started murmuring and making shushing sounds as the door behind us slammed open. Standing there was a girl with highlighted brown hair, dressed in cream heels, a baby pink mini dress, and a sash that signified her sorority name: Beta Kappa Phi.

One of her entourage members stepped out from behind her, wearing baby pink shorts and a very sheer top. “We have an important message for the heads of every house.” She stood frozen as if that was her only job and it was awkward to see a bunch of girls in sheer tops, their boobs on full display.

Hazing, maybe?

The only one not wearing a sheer top was the girl in the sash. I assumed she was the leader of her own little cult.Her boobs must be sacred, I laughed to myself.

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