Page 65 of Unwritten Rules

He huffed, clearly entertained. “This is your only excuse any time I talk to you or evenlookin your direction. A guy like me can never want to help anyone in his life. Sure, I’m here to only mess with you. Bend over then, I’ll show you.”

Excuse me, what?!Bend over?!

I’ve never wanted to punch anyone in the mouth before. That all changed when he came into my life. Having a normal semester was impossible in the current climate, butthiswas so uncalled for. Him and his dumb, stupid motorcycle.

“Is that what you say to them all? The group of not one, not two, butfivegirls the other day? I see you around and I wish I didn’t. You crashed my date with a fight for God’s sake! I wish I didn’t take you up on that stupid motorcycle ride at the party. You’re just no good.”

Nothing made sense and everything felt like a game. Brent wanted me to bring my guard down around him long enough to add a notch in his belt. Garrett suddenly became a stranger overnight. What was next? My best friend turning on me? Overwhelm wasn’t a strong enough word for how I felt.

My entire world crashed again. It wasn’t enough that my mother died of cancer, but I had to deal with the world she got into with no way of navigating it on my own.

The distance between us closed again, charged with not lust but irritation. “You want to questionmyjudgement? At least I know when people want something from me. Those girls want one of two things from me: my dick or my money. From day one, you’ve donenothingbut judge me and don’t think foronesecondI didn’t see that look in your eyes. While I spent time trying to learn more about you, you spent that time looking down on me. You think you’re so smart despite being just like the rest of us. Being naive in experience and sex doesn’t absolve you of not being as innocent as you want us to think you are.”

Not being as innocent as I want them to think?He must have been out of his mind to think that I was playing games with people. Clearly, something was broken in his brain.

He smoothed out his shirt, physically comprising himself. It made sense he got worked up easily if he was always inciting fights. “We went out on dates–two of them! We never even made it past almost kissing and youstillthink that I’m in it for your pussy. If that's what I wanted, I would have quit a long time ago.”

I bit the inside of my cheek, looking for anywhere else to look. Kelly was trying not to look while focusing heavily on her food. Embarrassment flowed through my body freely like water. My composure was faltering.

“Just for the record,” he said, voice softening, “I didnotpressure you into anything. I asked you for a kiss all of maybetwotimes which you just obliged me in your fuckingclosetof all places.”

My cheeks were bound to become permanently red at this rate. I wanted to hide inside myself with how exposed he was making me feel.

It was annoying that he might have made sense. I was angry that my life had been turned upside down so quickly, spiraling into chaos. I was furious that I had little judgement skill in picking men when I thought I was doing as well as my mother hoped I would. A man being let into my inner circle, into my life, and turning out to be no good? It was my mom picking my dad in another life. Since her death, it was like I wasn’t trying to live at all. Hiding away and sheltering myself more than she ever would.

Everything felt like a mountain I couldn’t climb.

All I saw was my biggest fears coming to life.

And a world I knew nothing about revealing itself to me too late in life.

I was an escapist. And even worse, I was scared. Putting my head down was my way of dealing with things. Especially when it came to the second half of my teen years. Why face my name–my legacy–when I could lie to myself and pretend it wasn’t real?

I stared at the floor while my vision blurred. Processing some of the things he said–the truth–was not what I wanted to do. Fire was all over my face and down my neck from the intensity of everything. Life had punched me in the gut.

––––––––

The movie finally ended, and I still wasn’t tired enough to go to sleep. I forced myself to lay down, but my eyes just wouldn’t shut.

Emotions were high all around. The atmosphere of everything felt dark and grim. I fought hard to escape that feeling. When I lived with my aunt, things were bad. She called me some of the same things, but worse.

Spoiled rich brat!

You and your mother have always looked down on me. Now look at you!

Sleep wouldn’t come to me, so, pizza it was. The plush carpet barely made a sound as I padded through the house and into the living room. Brent was wide awake sitting on the couch when I came in.

“Hey,” he whispered.

“Hi,” I replied, crossing into the kitchen. My head was still reeling from earlier and I felt the urge to distract myself with whatever pizza was left.

I rummaged through the fridge to pull out a box of whatever was left.

“Can we chat?” He was right behind me.

Nodding my head, I shoved a breadstick in my mouth.

He rubbed the back of his head before taking a brownie out of the box I offered up to him. “It felt too charged to try to remedy the situation earlier, so I’ve been sitting here wondering how to apologize.”

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