Her face was open and kind. There was no trap here, she definitely meant the offer, and a part of me was tempted to jump at the opportunity and thank her through elated squeals. It wasn’t a critique of their present-buying skills; this was just poor timing. There hadn’t been any way for her and Dad to know this was about to come up.
But at the same time, there was something so dirty about asking someone to exchange a present they’d bought for me. Mom and Dad had spoken—in what was probably a civil conversation—come to a decision, shopped for me, and bought something special for me, from them. It was alittleless weird than asking for a receipt after opening a present to exchange it… but I didn’t feel like it was less weirdenough.
“No, no, no,” I said. “Definitely not. Don’t worry about it.”
“You can just buy it yourself,” Ainsley said. “Right? You have money.”
“Of course,” Mom said dryly. “Your mysterious income source I only recently became aware of.”
Well. Interesting point. Only Mom didn’t know about the money Ainsley was referring to. My locker money went to various things basically as I earned it: phone bills, foundation, movie trips, self-help books. I’d barely saved a thing fromthatventure, especially after four students took Mom up on the refund option at school and I had to cough up forty to pay her back from my meager savings pile.
But Ainsley meant the Brougham money. The money that came in a couple of lump sum, large bills.
ThatI hadn’t spent.
But it was the only money I was going to have for the foreseeable future, now that my income was cut off.
Before I could come up with a clear thought, my phone buzzed, and everything, everything, vanished except for the fact that Brooke had said her first words to me in days and days.
Hey. Thanks for the apology. I still feel really weird about everything, but it’s nice to know you know you messed up. I need more time.
Okay. More time was reasonable. It was better than “never.” I would take what I could get for now.
TWENTY
I was on edge throughout the entire Q&Q Club meeting that Thursday. And given that this meeting was chaired by Finn, who’d been defusing tension since the day he left the womb, that was saying a lot. But something was becoming clear to me. Something that had started as a niggling in the back of my mind, so vague I hadn’t had words for it at first. The thing is, I’d wrecked things with Brougham romantically, but even if he was out of the picture, I still had to figure this fear out. Because that’s what it was, I was realizing. Fear of multiple things.
I needed to discuss it with the only group of people who would get it, first. In the one safe place we’d created where anything could be discussed.
Across the room from me was Erica Rodriguez. She’d poked her head in at the start and asked if she could join in, just to see what it was like in here. She hadn’t said a word since introducing herself, but I knew why she was here. I’d kind of sent her here myself. I shot her a smile, but I couldn’t seem to make it meet my eyes. She offered me ashaky one in return and shook her long box braids off her shoulders.
Finn cleared his throat dramatically as the meeting started to draw to a close. “As chairman, I’ve added a few extra items to today’s agenda.”
Mr. Elliot’s eyes widened in trepidation, but he let it go.
“One. Chad and Ryan inHigh School Musical 2.”
I glanced at Brooke to share the joke automatically. She was holding in laughter. There were a few murmurs, and Ray hissed,“Seriously?”
Finn continued undeterred. “I want the room to take a moment to consider the song ‘I Don’t Dance,’ perhaps the most loaded song lyrics in Disney history, if not the history of entertainment itself. The whole thing is a double entendre. ‘I’ll show you how I swing’? ‘Slide home, you score, swinging on the dance floor’?”
“Oh my god,” Alexei muttered.
“And to the doubters, I present the clincher: Ryan and Chad can be seen shortly after, sitting side by side,now literally wearing each other’s clothes.It’s the biggest hidden scandal since Simba wrote ‘sex’ in the sky with leaves.”
“Wasn’t that S-F-X? Like, sound effects?” Mr. Elliot asked.
Finn shook his head at him pityingly. “So old, and yet so naïve.”
“Old? I’mtwenty-seven! And don’t you talk to me about those movies like I couldn’t understand, I wasthere.”
“What’s your point, Finn?” Ray cut in, her no-nonsense voice back up and running.
Brooke glanced at her, then looked straight at the floor. As far as I knew, she still hadn’t worked things out withRay. I guess even though I’d set things into motion out of turn, that didn’t magically erase Brooke’s anger over what Ray had done.
“My point is I’m moving to make Ryan and Chad the official mascots of the Q and Q Club.”
“We’ll consider it; next item,” Mr. Elliot said quickly.