Page 68 of If This Gets Out

Angel blinks, looks between Zach and me, then mimes gagging. “Nope. This is already too much for me. Jon, it’s not them we need to worry about. This is weird forme.”

I shrug. “Well, don’t talk about our dates if you don’t want to hear about it!”

“Keep it PG, at least,” Angel moans.“Jesus.”

“What dates did youthinkyou’d be joining them on?” Jon laughs. “It’s not like they can go for brunch at a local café at the moment.”

I try to keep my face neutral, but apparently I fail, because Angel pounces on me immediately. “What don’t we know?” he demands, grabbing the head of the bed frame.

I look over at Zach helplessly. This seems like something I shouldn’t share on his behalf. He only told me about the canals, after all.

Luckily, he doesn’t look uncomfortable. In fact, he’s wearing a conspiratorial grin. “Wemayhave snuck out in Amsterdam one night.”

“What?”Angel yelps.“How?”

“Are you for real?” Jon asks at the same time. “You could’ve gottencaught!”

I catch Zach’s eye and we grin at each other. His smile issoft and affectionate. “Ruben thought to use the fire escape,” he says. “Nobody saw us, it’s fine.”

Jon looks stricken, but Angel bursts out laughing. “Holy shit. I feel like I’m seeing a whole new side to you two.”

“I feel like you’re more shocked about us sneaking out than us hooking up in secret,” I say dryly.

Angel folds his arms. “Well, neither of you haveeverasked me to sneak out with you.”

“Presumably,” Jon says, “neither of them has ever asked you to make out with them, either, though?”

“Unfortunately, you’ll never know the answer to that one,” Angel says with dignity. “I don’t kiss and tell.”

Zach glances at me and raises a questioning eyebrow. I shake my head no, biting back a laugh.

“And to be fair, Zach didn’taskme to make out with him, per se,” I start, but Angel shoves his fingers in his ears and starts singing his part in “Guilty” loudly enough to drown me out.

I can’t say that it didn’t occur to me it was a bad idea to put the idea of escaping the hotel in Angel’s head.

It seems unlikely that it’d never occurred to him, given we literally caught him using a fire exit only last week. But I guess ducking outside to meet a dealer for five minutes is a different ball game than escaping at night to go on an adventure. Still, it’s beendayssince we told him about our escape, and as far as I can tell, he hasn’t tried it himself. Or, at least, if he has, he hasn’t been caught.

In fact, Angel has been pretty low-key since he got into trouble for messing with the choreo in Cologne. I have no idea if it was escalated to Geoff, or if Erin’s disapproval wasinexplicably enough to set him straight, but he hasn’t made a peep.

Which is why, when he sends a group message to us telling us about the “few friends” he has in his room tonight, I’m actually a little taken aback.

Zach, whose phone buzzed the same moment mine did, pulls his blanket to his chin and burrows deep into his mountain of pillows. “I don’t want to, I just want to stay in and watch movies.” Suddenly, his head snaps up. “Unless you want to? We can totally go if you want to. I’m easy.”

“No, I’m happy to stay in,” I say, putting my phone on his bedside table and snuggling in beside him to steal his body heat. It’s an especially cool night in Berlin, and even though the rooms are all climate controlled, the steady pattering of light rain on the windows is enough to make me feel sleepy and cozy. I feel sorry for the group of fans huddled outside the hotel hoping to catch a glimpse of us. I hope they have blankets. And umbrellas.

“I can’t hear any music,” Zach says. “Maybe it’s actually only a few friends.”

“Yeah, totally,” I say, walking my fingers across his bare shoulder to his collarbone. He shivers and his eyes go dark as he watches me. “I’m sure he’s having one or two buddies over for a rousing game of Monopoly.”

He swallows and touches my fingers, tilting his head back. The sight of him like this, shirtless and languid, sets something alight within me. The thing is, I’m quite sure he’s the most impossibly beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I’m about to lean forward to kiss him on his lips, or his neck, or anywhere and everywhere he’ll let me, when he closes his grip around my hand and pushes me away to prop himself up. He suddenly looks worried. “Do you think he’s okay?”

I let out a short laugh. “Ah, yes, I’m sure he’s having a great time.”

But Zach doesn’t laugh. Instead, his eyebrows draw closer together, and he presses his lips thin. I haul myself up into a half-sitting position to match him and lean forward. “Hold on, what do you mean?”

“I don’t know. He’s just… he’s been high a couple of times recently, and if he’s having friends around… I’m probably overthinking it.”

The thing is, though, that up until now Zach’s been much less concerned about Angel’s well-being than Jon and I have. If even Zach thinks something’s off enough to want to take charge here, I’m inclined to pay attention.

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