Page 62 of Never Ever Getting Back Together

And between Skye and me, our chances of revenge have just gone up to 40 percent.

Now those are odds we can work with.

SEVENTEENSkye

Kim returns from her night with Jordy apparently brimming with the urge to share every detail. And given that, like the rest of us, she can’t analyze the details with friends and family—and Francesca has suddenly departed—that leaves us as the unwilling audience.

“We stayed up until practically sunrise,” she gushes, spinning on her barstool by the kitchen island counters. Lauren is sitting on the counter next to her, and Maya, Perrie, and I are at the dining table clutching mugs of coffee and tea. “Talking and… other stuff… Oh, and we called my parents, and Vivaan, because he said he missed them, butreallyI know he knew I missed them. Isn’t that the most thoughtful thing you’ve ever heard? And they brought us a cheese plate, and he has an Xbox in his room so we played that for a while. He said he’s never met a girl he could game with before.”

Maya snorts into her coffee, and Kim swings around, annoyed. “What,Maya?”

“Oh, nothing,” she says. “Just, Jordy and I used to play Xbox all the time.”

Kim’s expression cools even further. “Well, congratulations.”

Maya and her inexplicable inability to self-censor are absolutely going to make winning this far more difficult than it needs to be. At this rate, she’s going to have erased all the ground she gained with the kayak ploy by lunch. “I don’t think she meant it like that,” I jump in. “I think she just meant it sounds a little like a… line.”

“It wasn’t a line.” Kim’s voice is icy. “You weren’t there.”

“Don’t you think it’s a bit weird to make up something like that, though?” Maya asks. I nudge her foot with mine under the table, but it’s too late.

Kim smacks a hand on the counter. “Maybe he just forgot, Maya, you were together, like, a billion years ago.”

“I doubt it,” Maya mumbles.

“You’re such a bitch when you get jealous, Maya, you know that?” Kim asks.

“What game did you play?” Lauren asks loudly before Maya can dig her hole any deeper.

As Kim goes on, I lean in to whisper to Maya and Perrie. “He used to play Xbox with me, too.” I shoot Maya a loaded look.Here. I’m validating you. You’re not imagining things. But for the love of all that is holy, let it go.

“… then he said he was especially hoping I’d come on the show,” Kim says. I notice a slight raise in Lauren’s eyebrows at this. I’m quite sure mine do the same.Thatline sounds familiar. “I mean, we only broke up because he had to move, so it’s not like we ever left things on bad terms…”

Perrie shares Lauren’s “excuse me?” expression. Maya looks as though she’s about to overflow with the urge to say something. I catch her eye, and shake my head.

Be. Smart.

Unfortunately, Kim catches me giving Maya this obviously loaded look. “Yeah, okay,” she says, hopping off the stool. “Got it. Don’t talk about Jordy with you guys.”

“Oh, Kim, that’s not it,” Maya says, but Kim is already flouncing out of the room.

“Why did it have to be Francesca?” Kim mutters as she leaves, just loudly enough for me to make out.

Lauren shoots the table a chiding look. “You could’ve at least pretended to be interested,” she says. “I know it’s weird, but all we’ve got is each other, and it could be you wanting to talk about a date next week.”

“Sure,” Perrie says slowly, “but, correct me if I’m wrong, did all of that sound familiar to anyone else?”

“Yes,for fuck’s sake, yes,” Maya bursts out, throwing her arms up.

“Let it out, Maya.” I grin. I’m not sure if I want to tell her off or burst into laughter and hug her. Not that that’s new, when it comes to Maya.

Lauren gives a single-shoulder shrug and sets about washing her mug. “I don’t know. Is it really that shocking that we all had similar experiences dating the same guy? Of course there are going to be overlaps. It’s not a conspiracy.”

“You don’t think it’s gross for him to use the same lines on all of us?” Maya presses, because she simply can’t help herself, apparently. Well, at least she’s sticking to the “convert Lauren and Perrie” plan. “Especially the ones that are basically lies?”

“Flirting is lying,” Lauren says, putting the mug in the cupboard with a clang. “You try being honest the next time you meet a guy, go on. Tell him he’s about a five out of ten, and that you’re willing to kiss him even though his chin’s so big you can barely navigate around it. Tell him his laugh is cute enough to make you look past the fact that he doesn’t know how to joke without quotingThe Simpsons.See how far your honesty gets you.”

“It worked for Mr. Darcy,” Perrie says.

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