Page 77 of Never Ever Getting Back Together

“Don’t they say the best revenge is being happy?”

“I don’t know about ‘they,’ but it’s not what my mom says.”

“Well, who says you need to decide now? Why don’t you take a year to open yourself to new ideas? You might still go to college. And if you don’t, all the better; your mom’s years of work can buy her a year-long travel vacation. And who cares what Jordy thinks? I mean,really?”

I stuff a handful of chips in my mouth. “Is that what you did? Take a year off to decide?”

“Maya, chew, good god. Yes, actually. I worked extremely hard in school, and if I go to college, I imagine I’ll work extremely hard there, too. I wanted to give myself a year to do as little work as I possibly can, and then I’ll commit to the next step when I feel more ready to.”

I put another chip in my mouth and go out of my way to loudly crunch it for several seconds before I swallow and reply,mouth empty this time. “You know? This is the first time I’ve seen you not-plan something.”

“Oh, I’m still planning. I’m planning to return to London, and stay in the pre-planned apartment I already have a lease for, for a pre-planned period of time. I plan to apply for waitressing or bartender work, and once I have enough money, I’ll plan multiple weekend trips. Then, I plan on planning the next steps, about six months in.”

“Okay, so what I’m hearing is, you’re planning to plan your life out at a pre-planned time. Yeah, that sounds more like you. Where are youplanningon visiting?”

She stretches out, letting her socked feet hang over the edge of the bed. “I haven’t had a chance to see the Mediterranean yet. I’d like to see Greece and Spain, and definitely Italy. I met a girl while I was backpacking who raved about Genoa. Apparently, if you go, you should skip the restaurants and just buy from the food stores in the alleys. She said they have butchers with the most incredible meat you’ve ever tried, gelato on every corner, fresh fruit stalls every few feet, and—oh, she said the focaccia there is indescribable. She said it’s like a chewy, fluffy bread that gets covered in oil and lard, and it’s nothing like what they call focaccia in other countries.”

Suddenly, the chips taste like goddamn trash. “Well, now I want to try it, and I can’t. That’steasing.”

“The town is built by the sea, on hillsides. When you look up, all you can see are brightly colored houses, layered like arena seating.”

“Oh my god.” I go limp, and close my eyes. “I want to go.Sobad.”

“Huh.”

“What?”

“Nothing. It just seems like we might have found something you’d rather do than med school.”

I think about being on that stage today. Of the lights, and the heat, and the feeling of endless power. The Maya that was up there would agree with Skye. She’d jump on a plane and see things, and do whatever felt right to her in the moment, regardless of how it made her look. She wouldn’t base her decisions around avoiding the world’s judgment.

The memory of the concert blends into the music blaring from Skye’s speaker, and a tingling, contented sort of happiness washes over me. So, when she touches my hand, it takes a beat to realize she has, because it fits so perfectly into that warm buzzing.

But then that beat passes, and my brain snaps into attention.

I glance up at her, and she’s looking at me with an intense half smile, and the energy shifts, like the molecules in the air we’re breathing have disrupted their holding pattern. My heart catches on to what’s about to come a second before I do, and it starts pounding so hard I’m surprised the ground doesn’t vibrate along with it.

So, I wasn’t imagining things last night?

Time slows.

“I want to kiss you,” Skye says, matter-of-factly. Casual, not earth-shattering.

Funny. Those words shatter time and space for me.

“So, kiss me,” I force out.

And she does. Her hand, still on top of mine, presses down, anchoring me into place. As our lips meet, I melt. Into her, into myself, into nothing. I kiss her back, and that energy builds up, thrumming from my throat to my fingertips until I feel like a dying star. Like I’m about to shatter into a thousand shards of light.

It’s been so long, I’d forgotten this, all of it. The frenzied serenity of a first kiss. Perfect, frozen stillness slamming against frantic energy.

Being ignited.

She climbs onto her knees and leans an arm against the wall to steady herself, and she becomes an eclipse, blocking out the ceiling light until it haloes around her.

She kisses me over, and over, until I’m not sure where I end and begin anymore. Amongst the mush, a thought finally breaks through, and I manage to put it to words during a break in the kisses.

“Hey. Um. Why are we kissing?”

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