Page 42 of Nobody in Particular

“Really?” I ask. “I kind of thought she was friends with both of you.”

“She is. But it’s different with her and Rose.”

“How so?” I ask as we enter the courtyard and pass the fountain. Icy water sprays us as we pass, and I wipe it off my cheek.

Molly slows down before we enter the dining hall. Clearly, she doesn’t want to say whatever she’s about to say while we’re surrounded by dozens of students. “Rose and Eleanor were friends in preschool, but Rose and I went to a different primary school to her. She came to Bramppath with us, but we didn’t really have anything to do with her. Then in third year, her mom cheated on her dad with Millicent Roper’s dad, and everyone found out about it and the whole grade iced Eleanor out. Anyway, Rose told them all to piss off, and I think people were too scared of getting on Rose’s bad side to keep being shitheads to Eleanor, so everything went back to normal. And that’s how we got to know Eleanor.”

I think of Rose, and how she told me she’s not a good person. I’m no psychologist, but she seems like a pretty good person to me. Sounds to me like she’s Eleanor’s Rachel, and Rachel is one of the very best people.

Alfie’s really lucky.

I feel weirdly conspicuous as we go into the dining room. Like all eyes are on us, even though I know that, in reality, literally no one’s noticed Molly and me come in. Rose is back from making out with Alfie, and she’s sitting with Eleanor, Florence, and Harriet at our table. None of them notice Molly and me at first.

Not until we grab our food and sit together at the empty end of a table on the other end of the hall, that is. Molly sits across from me with her back to them all, which means I can’t help noticing when Rose sees us. Can’t help seeing the hurt flash across her face, and the questioning look in her eyes as she locks onto me. Can’t help watching as she tells her table about us, and they all crane around in their chairs to see for themselves.

Rose’s expression stabs right through my chest, and guilt spills like ink all the way down to my stomach. As much as today has sucked for me, I didn’t want to hurt her back. Especially when she didn’t mean to hurt me. Probably has no idea she even has.

I’ll explain it to her as soon as dinner’s over, just so she doesn’t think I’m angry at her or anything.

And hey, if she’s still upset, I’m sure Alfie will be right there to comfort her.

EIGHTEENROSE

As I’m waiting crossed-legged on my bed to take a video call William has set up between my parents and me, Danni sends me a message:

Hey, I just wanted to give you a heads-up that Molly asked if we can spend some more time one-on-one for a while. I think she needs some space. I’m going to be there for her for now but I want you to know I’m not mad at you, and I still consider you my friend. Is that okay?

I’m still staring at my phone in shock when the black square on my laptop screen bursts into video. Mum, Father, and William are gathered in a tight squeeze on the velvet cream couch in the drawing room. My mind is so blank, all I can do is drag my gaze up numbly and wait in silence for one of them to initiate the discussion they all so desperately wanted to have.

Father is the first to break. “Well, I suppose we should get into it,” he says. “There were many photos taken of you and Alfie today, Rose.”

What does “a while” mean, Danni? The week? A month? Is this a polite way to say “for the foreseeable future”?

“By that,” Mum jumps in, “he means there is going to be speculation. Rampant speculation.”

“Already has been,” William corrects, and Mum nods with a frown.

Of course, if Molly wants to pull away from me, it’s nobody’s fault but mine. And I can’t say it escaped my notice that Molly begrudged the fact that Danni and I have been growing close. I suppose she must feel as though her one escape only ended up tethering her tighter to me. And despite the fact that she doesn’t care about me anymore, I can’t help caring for her. I don’twanther to feel as though she has nobody, and if Danni intends to look after her, I can rest easy knowing she isn’t alone.

Father speaks now. “Of course, we discussed the possibility of a press embargo, but…”

Even though I understand why Danni may want space, that’s a different thing altogether from being fine with it. So, I won’t stop by her room to collect her for breakfast tomorrow morning? She won’t be by my side at meals, or walking with me to lessons, or popping by to watch a movie? I feel as though I’m plummeting in place.

“Frankly,” says William, “I believe speculation along these lines is a far preferable story to the headlines we’ve been seeing for the past several months. So, I have advised against it.”

It seems ridiculous to care so much about losing Danni from my life when she only entered it so recently.

“You see,” Mum says, “Alfie has a wonderful reputation.”

But I do care.

“Pristine,” William agrees. “He even managed to avoid getting in the photos during the Amsterdam debacle. And he’s a natural in the spotlight.”

“Though as much as we feel these stories will be for the better,” Father says, “we thought you would like the opportunity to control the narrative. So to speak.”

And if Danni is so eager to leave my life with the same ease she entered it, what does that say about her opinion of me? I suppose, ifI’m completely, honest, I’d wondered if maybe… perhaps she… but then, no, she can’t. Evidently, she doesn’t. If she cared about me in any manner beyond a friendship, she would be stepping toward me, not away. Regardless of what Molly asked her to do. Apparently, I’d overestimated the strength of our bond in more ways than one.

William nods. “We can provide an ‘insider source’ tip toThe Registertoday, if you want. I could inform them that you and Alfie are officially a couple? Or would you prefer to go down the ‘strong feelings you’re exploring’ route?”

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