Page 93 of Nobody in Particular

I couldn’t even have this, huh?

Mom answers on the second ring. “Danni, honey?”

“Hi.”

“Hi, sweetie.” She takes a deep breath and laughs a little. “I saw something on the news just now.”

“It’s true,” I say flatly before she spends too much longer trying to spit it out. “I’m sorry.”

When she replies, her voice is hard. “Don’t you ever apologize, Danni. I don’t want to ever hear you do that again. Not to me, not to anybody.”

I try to reply, but I’m starting to feel like I might cry any second, so I don’t say a word.

She continues. “I love you more than anybody in the entire world. You’re my girl and I am so, so proud of you. Every day you make me prouder. That’s all I have to say.”

I press my lips together, feeling overwhelmed tears threatening to spill. I draw a shaky breath, trying to think of what to say.

“Are you okay, sweetie?”

I shake my head a few times, trying to find my voice. When I open my mouth, a sob bursts out instead of words. “Not really,” I manage.

“I’d like you to come home for the week. You need to be here with us. You need space.”

“I can’t, Mom. I have practice exams coming up. There’s too much going on.”

“Screw exams,” she says, catching me by surprise. “You won’t be taking anything. You’ve been through trauma. There’s an exemption for that. I’ll speak to the headmaster—”

“I don’t want you to speak to him about this—”

“We’ll lie, then. Say Dennis died and I need you home for the funeral arrangements.”

“Mom!”

“Okay, maybe not Dennis. That’s easily fact-checked. How about Auntie Kylie?”

“Mom,” I said, cracking a reluctant smile. “Thank you. But I don’t want to go home. I want to stay here. I have to.”

“Well, if you want to, that’s one thing. But don’t you think you have to. Your grades aren’t worth your well-being.”

“Okay, Mom. Thank you.”

“I love you, Danni. Please don’t forget you can call me whenever you need to. It doesn’t matter what the time is or what day it is. Call me.”

“I will.”

“Promise me?”

“Promise.”

“Okay. And, sweetie… you don’t need to tell me everything now. When you’re ready. But if you have a girl in your life, and you want me to know her, I would love to meet her.”

I want to cry, because there’s nothing I want more in the world than to introduce Rose to Mom. But Mom doesn’t mean Rose. She means Harriet. She thinks Harriet is my girlfriend.

“Sure,” I say. “Maybe.”

With that we say goodbye, and we disconnect.

I put the phone on my bedside table and curl up to stare at the wall.

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