Page 93 of Faking It with the Firefighter

That thought rattled around my brain all day. I mulled it over as I made my way back to the wedding venue to pick up mytruck, and when I drove around aimlessly while the streetlights came on. I went to sleep questioning everything about who I was and how I’d lived my life. By morning, I was bleary-eyed and exhausted, but sleep was fitful and hard to catch.

I needed to do something. I couldn’t go to Sullivan’s, because I was pretty sure Gabe still wanted nothing to do with me, and I couldn’t go to Abigail’s, so I decided the fire station was the only place left where I’d be halfway welcome.

After getting dressed, I made my way to my truck. That’s when Donny pulled up outside in our mom’s car.

“What are you doing here?” I asked when he got out.

“Can we talk?” he asked. Normally, I would’ve dropped everything for my brother. But I’d decided that phase of my life was over. He would always be my brother, but he wasn’t a little kid I needed to take care of anymore. So he’d have to man up and wait.

“Not now, Donny, I’m heading over to the station,” I said, circling back to the driver’s side door.

“Then I’ll be quick,” he said, right behind me. “I just came to say that I’m sorry. You were right.”

God, I was tired. I just looked at him. “Sorry for what?”

“All of it. You were right, I didn’t consider you the way I should’ve when I started up with Blair. She was just so hot, and when she came onto me I?—”

“Donny,” I interrupted.

“Right, sorry. What I’m saying is that I wasn’t thinking. I never think. I’m like that stereotypical meathead.”

“Yeah, you are,” I said. “But you don’t have to be.”

“I know. I don’t want to be. I want to be a good guy. I want to be a better brother to you. You deserve that after everythingyou’ve done for me. That you’ve done for our family. I’m sorry I did that to you.”

His words eased something inside me, and I leaned against my truck. Scrubbing my nails against my scalp, I let out a long sigh. “Thank you for saying that.”

“Mom sulked all day about what you said.”

I groaned. “I should apologize.”

“I don’t know…” Donny kicked a pebble and watched it land in the middle of the road. “I think… I think you were kind of right. When Dad would blow up, you were always rushing to protect her. Protect both of us. But no one was there to protect you.”

“Part of me liked being the hero,” I admitted.

“I get that,” Donny said. “It’s like in football, throwing the perfect pass to get a touchdown in the last play of the game. Makes you feel like a million bucks. But with football, someone needs to catch the ball. Defense needs to do their job. Everyone—coaches, physios, even the fans. You were on your own.”

Our eyes met. For the first time, I felt like someone understood. Someone other than Abigail. Gulping, I nodded. “Thank you for saying that.”

Donny let out a sigh. “I’m sorry I brought Blair here. I never should’ve been with her in the first place. I’m just glad I called it off before we actually got married.”

I frowned. “You called it off? She said she called it off.”

Donny scoffed. “What? No. When I was running after Tammy, I realized I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t deal with my whole life being on video. Couldn’t deal with pretending that everything was okay when it really wasn’t. We did that enough as kids.”

I gruntedin agreement.

“Tammy found Blair, and I just straight up told her I wasn’t going to marry her. I told her it wasn’t right between us, and…”

“And?”

Donny cringed. “I might’ve mentioned that I would be lucky to have what you have with Abigail. I think that set her off.”

I wanted to correct him and sayhadwith Abigail, but I stopped myself. Donny wasn’t here to listen to my sob story. Things with Abigail were done. She wasn’t the type to forgive, and I knew I’d hurt her too deeply to fix.

Not wanting to go down that path in this conversation, I joked, “You’re not gonna try to go after my girl again, are you?”

He shook his head fervently. “No. Never.”

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