Page 56 of Unsaid Things

Chapter Twenty-Three

Lance’s words seemed to reverberate in the silence, each one slamming into her chest.I’m in this. I’m here. Are you?

She shook her head, not in answer, but in confusion. He hadn’t been surprised when he found out the truth. “Did you know?”

He blinked, crossing his arms. “Did I know what?”

“That I was lying. How? You weren’t surprised when I said Aaron had asked me for money. Like you knew all along. How? How did you know?”

He sighed, looking at her like she was slow. “Abby, you’re not a very good liar. I believed you at first because you were so upset. But the more I thought about it and the more I asked about it, the more obvious it became that you weren’t giving the money to your mom. That meant it had to be your brother. I didn’t know why, though.”

Looking away, she ran over all their conversations about it in her head. Yeah, okay. Maybe he had a point. “Why didn’t you say something sooner, then?”Why let me carry on with the lies?

He shook his head and collapsed back down on the couch, tossing his hands up in a gesture of frustration and helplessness. “What was I supposed to do? Say, ‘Abby, I know you’re lying to me’? That would’ve gone over real well, I’m sure.”

“Well, no, but—“

“No buts. You would’ve gotten pissed that I said you were lying, even though youwere, and everything would be shit. And I wanted you to choose to tell me. I wanted you to trust me. That’s all I’ve wanted all along.”

“I do trust you.”

He gave her a long, pointed look.

“I do. I trust you more than I’ve trusted anyone. Even Megan. I moved in with you. I let you in. I’ve brought you to my mom’s house. A bunch. Do you know how many other people I’ve willingly brought there? One. Megan.” He opened his mouth to say something, looking like he was going to point out a flaw in her argument, but she spoke louder, cutting him off before he could speak. “I don’t do that.” She jammed her finger into her chest to emphasize her point. “I don’t let people in.”

Watching her, he nodded once. “That’s true. You don’t.”

“And I’ve let you in.”

“Not all the way, though.”

Now she threw up her hands in that same gesture. “I don’t know how to do anything else!”

“You could try.”

“I am trying. I’m doing the best I can!”

He arched one eyebrow. “Really, Abby?”

She reached a hand toward him, but let it drop. “I let you pay for my plane ticket to visit your family.”

“Because you couldn’t afford it.”

She narrowed her eyes. “True. But at one point I would’ve refused to go at all. And I accepted the iPad that you gave me for Christmas. And the expensive earrings for my birthday. I’m trying, Lance. Can’t you see that?”

He stared at her for a moment before nodding slowly, standing and taking her hands that she’d held out as though in supplication. “I do. I know. But I—“ He looked around the room, taking a deep breath and gathering his thoughts before meeting her eyes again. His brown eyes looked almost pleading. “I want to take care of you. I want you to trust me to take care of you. To let me pay the rent because I can and I want to, not because you gave all your money to your brother.” She opened her mouth to speak, but he kept going, not letting her get a word in. “I want you to let me go grocery shopping with you more than once a month or so if I’m around, because you’ll let me pay when we’re together.” He shook his head. “No, what I really want is for you to let me add you to my credit card and use that to pay for groceries.”

“But what about my job? What will I pay for?”

“School!” His fingers squeezed hers. “Don’t take out as much in loans. You don’t have to, and then you won’t have as much to pay back after you graduate. I’m lucky enough not to have any loans and to have a great job right out of college. I can cover our expenses and still have some left over. You don’t have to pay for everything fifty-fifty like you did with Megan.”

“But—“

“No buts.”

She shook her head. “No. I need to say it. If you want me to trust you, then you have to listen to me and not just shut me down because you don’t like what I’m saying.”

He let out a sigh, but it was a sound of acquiescence, not annoyance. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I know I railroad you. Go ahead. I’m listening.”

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