Page 27 of Coping Skills

Chapter Twelve

She made it as far as the sign for the bathroom before she was stopped by someone calling her name. Good thing that most people were still watching the game, otherwise she might’ve caused someone to run into her.

“Elena! Wait up!”

She turned to see Hannah hurrying toward her. Steeling herself with a deep breath, she prepared to argue with her best friend about why she couldn’t watch the game anymore.

“I have the keys. Do you want me to take you home?”

And that sucked all the wind out of Elena’s sails. She deflated, crumpling in on herself, her arms coming up to wrap around her.

Hannah stepped closer and rubbed Elena’s back. “Hey. It’s okay. Whatever you need to do, we’ll do. Do you want to go to the car?”

Nodding, Elena let Hannah steer her toward the exit nearest where they’d parked. They’d brought Hannah’s car, though Matt had driven. Elena had rolled her eyes hard when he’d insisted on driving. Hannah hadn’t seemed to care, though, so Elena kept her mouth shut. It had seemed easiest for them all to come together, that way she could go to the party with Daniel afterward and they wouldn’t have an extra car. Now she kind of wished she’d driven herself. She felt bad taking Hannah away from the football game and time with Matt. He’d been gone a lot the last few weeks, but had made an effort to schedule his latest trip to end in time to come to the homecoming game.

Elena cleared her throat as they walked through the parking lot, the wind picking up and reminding them that it was late October now. “I’m sorry.”

Hannah’s head snapped around, confusion on her face. “What? Why?”

After a feeble gesture toward the stadium, Elena let her hand drop. “For ruining the game for you.”

With a tilt of her head and tightening of her lips, Hannah communicated how silly she thought that reason was. “Yes, because I’m super into football. It’s my life.”

Elena snorted. “Fine, then for interrupting your time with Matt.”

Hannah chuckled. “It’s not like we were enjoying time alone or something, Elena. You don’t need to apologize.” She paused a moment, glancing at Elena again as they approached the car. “If you want me to leave you alone, though, just say so. I know you process best on your own. But you’re my best friend, and I have to make sure you’re okay.”

Shaking her head, Elena had to look at the leaden sky and blink rapidly to stave off the onslaught of tears. “God. I haven’t been okay in so long that not okay has become the new normal.”

Hannah let out a low noise of distress. “Elena …”

“Don’t.” Elena squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head again. “I know, I sound pathetic. Don’t make me feel more pathetic by being all sympathetic. There’s nothing you can do to make it better. There’s nothing anyone can do.”

When she opened her eyes, Hannah’s green eyes were still filled with concern, but she didn’t say anything. They’d made it to the car and Hannah pushed the button to unlock it, both of them climbing inside. They sat staring out the windshield until Hannah broke the silence. “Do you want me to take you home?”

“What about Matt?”

“I can come back and get him when the game’s over, or he can get a ride with Lance and Abby. He wanted to stay and see if he could find out what’s going on with Daniel. He said he’d text me to let me know.”

Elena drew in a deep breath, a combination of relief and dread filtering through her. She wanted to know how he was, but at the same time she worried that he might be worse off than everyone wanted to believe. Herself included. She’d let Matt’s words reassure her somewhat, but deep down she was scared shitless that he would have major long-term problems from that hit.

There was no rhyme or reason to who recovered fully and who didn’t, a combination of location and the force of the impact itself plus individual response to physical stress seemed to determine the extent of the injury. Watching from the stands, it was impossible to know any of those things. Everything had been such a tangle of bodies and limbs that it had been hard to tell what had happened anyway. All she knew was that when the other players had gotten up, Daniel had been left on the field unconscious. She knew enough to know that that was bad.

So she nodded. “Okay. Tell him thanks for me.”

“Sure.”

Another pause. Elena could feel Hannah looking at her, but she kept her attention focused on her hands.

“You never answered my question. Do you want to go home?”

Elena thought it over. “Um, not really.”

“So what do you want to do?”

Finally looking at her friend, Elena saw that the look of pity had gone from Hannah’s face.Gracias a Dios. She couldn’t handle pity right now on top of the riot of emotions inside her. Not that she handled it well any other time. But today was especially bad. “I know it’s dumb, but can we just stay here? I don’t—“

“Sure.” Hannah glossed right over the inarticulate pause, acting like nothing was weird about wanting to sit in the car for the rest of the game.

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