Page 33 of Coping Skills

Chapter Fourteen

Daniel had texted five times and called twice in the week since she’d left his apartment. Elena had responded to the first text with a simple,I’m sorry. It’s over.His response had been simple as well.Why?

She could feel all his confusion and frustration in that single word, could imagine him saying it like he had that night, his tone all tortured bafflement. She felt like a complete bitch breaking up with him like she had. But she’d been telling the truth when she’d said she couldn’t do it anymore. She really, really couldn’t. Sitting with him in the hospital, waiting to hear back from the doctor, had been the worst form of torture. The memories of sitting with him in the ER mingled with the memories of sitting in the waiting room and in her dad’s hospital room while he was unconscious. Her nightmares had come back. But now it was Daniel lying unconscious in the hospital bed, bandages around his head.

Sometimes she’d dream about her father yelling at her, cussing her out while he was in the hospital. And partway through he’d morph into Daniel, shouting her father’s words in her father’s voice, but it was Daniel’s boyish face with its usual scruff sneering at her.

She woke from those dreams suppressing her sobs, burying her face in her pillow, gulping down air until she could get herself under control. On those nights, she’d get up and take a shower, then bury herself in homework. Her sleep became sporadic, and she only slept when exhaustion dragged her down, unable to keep her eyes open anymore.

By the time Thursday rolled around, she barely managed to drag herself to classes, only going because it was the last day before a three-day weekend. Their so-called Fall Break. It made it sound like more than one day without classes, but she wasn’t about to complain. Most students used it as an excuse to go home for a couple of days, and she was no different.

Her mom had called during the week and asked if she planned on coming home. She had the first two years she’d been at Marycliff. Last year she’d had a debate tournament that weekend, so she hadn’t been able to go home. So it wasn’t an unreasonable question.

“Yeah, okay. I’ll come home,” had been her answer after long moments of silence where she wrestled with her desire to stay away and her guilt for feeling that way. The guilt won.

But she waited until Friday morning to leave. She’d told her mom that she needed to rest because she’d had a lot of homework before the break and hadn’t been sleeping much. It was mostly true. She’d done a lot of homework, at least, reading ahead to cover chapters she didn’t need to get through until after Thanksgiving. But she’d needed something to distract her from the pain of breaking up with Daniel, the guilt over not wanting to go home, and keep her awake to avoid her nightmares.

She actually slept well on Thursday night. She woke up around eight, which was earlier than she would’ve liked, but she wanted to get to her parents’ house by noon. The drive took just over two hours, so she had enough time to pack a bag for the next couple of nights, shower, and eat breakfast before heading out by ten.

Hannah and Matt were getting up and around while she loaded her duffle bag and backpack into her car. Hannah came out and gave her a quick hug. “Drive safe. Let me know when you get there. And tell your parents I said hi.”

Elena gave her a tight smile. “Thanks. I’ll tell my mom, at least. I don’t think my dad’ll care much.”

Pity flashed in Hannah’s eyes, but she covered it when Elena gave her a stern look. “Fine. Tell your mom I said hi, then. And, um.” Hannah paused and looked away, biting her lip, a pink flush coming to her cheeks. “I know going home for the weekend isn’t your idea of a good time, and you’re not doing it because of me, but I appreciate getting some alone time with Matt for a couple days. So thanks.”

Elena chuckled, the first real chuckle in several days. She hugged Hannah again. “You’re welcome. Enjoy your kinky, spanky sex free-for-all while I’m gone. Just make sure you can still sit on Sunday. You have class and work next week.”

Hannah’s blush deepened, making Elena laugh more. But Hannah lifted her chin. “Don’t worry. My ass’ll be just fine.”

Elena laughed again and climbed into her car. “See you in a couple days.”

Hannah walked over to stand with Matt on the front steps while Elena backed out of the driveway. They both waved at her as she drove away.

She made good time, even with stopping in Ritzville for a quick rest stop and to break up the monotony of driving through the Scablands. She’d always loved that name for the area. It was so picturesque, and perfectly captured the effects of the rock breaking through the crust of dirt. Basalt? She thought her middle school earth science teacher had told them it was basalt. But that had been so long ago that she wasn’t sure anymore.

One of the wines at the wine bar she’d gone to with Hannah’s other friends last spring had been from a vineyard called Scabland Wines. Maybe she’d stop by and grab a bottle while she was in Richland. She’d looked it up, and it was a half-hour’s drive south. She could go tomorrow. It’d be a good excuse to get out of the house, and she knew she’d need that.

Two and a half hours after leaving her house in Spokane, she pulled in front of her parents’ house in Richland. It looked the same as always—white siding with charcoal gray trim and roof and a bonus room above the garage. That had been where she and her brother would hang out with their friends. They’d had their own TV and hand-me-down couches, video game consoles, and a DVD player. The yard looked like it could use mowing, and most of the flowers had died off by this late in October. Leaves were scattered across the grass from the aspen that stood at the edge of the yard. Who would do the cleanup since Tomás was away now too? Could her dad handle it? Or did her mom have to take care of that, too?

The front door opened as she climbed out of her car, retrieving her bags from the back seat. Her mom stood on the front porch, a smile splitting her face. When Elena walked up, her mom pulled her into a tight hug.

“Oh, mija. I’m so glad you came. I’ve missed you since you left in August. And you haven’t called as much as you usually do.”

Guilt stabbed at her, and she was glad her mom still held her, so she didn’t have to look her in the face. “I’m sorry, mamá. It’s been a busy semester.”

“Claro. Of course. I know.” She pulled back, but still held Elena by the shoulders. “It’s just been a rough few months is all. And you were such a help when you were here this summer. It’s been harder than normal having you gone.”

Elena had to swallow down the tightness in her throat. She knew her mom had been having a hard time. She’d taken off as much time as she could from school, but had to go back a couple of weeks ago. Which Elena imagined made it more difficult, leaving her dad home by himself while she went to work.

She forced a smile. “Well, I’m here now. And Thanksgiving and Christmas are right around the corner.”

The sad smile on her mom’s face made Elena aware of how tired she looked. Her skin looked dull and washed out, like she hadn’t been outside in ages. Dark circles marred the skin under her eyes, and new lines that Elena had never noticed before had appeared in the corners of her mom’s eyes and around her mouth. Like she spent far more time these days squinting and frowning.

“Yes, mija. That’s true. Something else to look forward to, ah? You and your brother both home for the holidays.”

Elena was saved from responding by her mom ushering her into the house and waving her toward her bedroom.

“Go put your things away. I’ll fix you some lunch, and you can say hi to your papi.”

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