Page 38 of Coping Skills

Coop considered that, then sighed. “Yeah, okay. I get that. But don’t let her keep stringing you along. You deserve better than that. You’ve been miserable this week, and not just because you got kicked in the head. You don’t need her to come back and fuck you over again.”

“I know. I’m not doing what we were doing anymore. I’ll find out what she wants from me after she wakes up. And we’ll go from there.”

Coop studied him for a minute. “Okay. I was going to hang with you and watch a movie or something, but since you’ve got company, I’m gonna go hit a party that Wilkins was talking about.”

“Cool. Have fun, dude.”

“See ya.” Coop grabbed a sweatshirt and picked up his keys before heading back out, leaving Daniel alone with his thoughts again.

But that didn’t last long. Shortly after he settled back onto the couch with his homework again, the door to his bedroom opened, and Elena stood in the doorway, wearing his jersey.

And nothing else.

She leaned against the doorframe, one hip cocked, all curves and seduction. “Why don’t you come back to bed?”

He licked his lips at the sight of her, unable to help it. Just like he couldn’t stop the blood rushing to his cock. He let out an involuntary groan, her invitation so tempting. It would be so easy to fall back into their old pattern.

But he didn’t want that. Knew he couldn’t take it. He wasn’t the kind of guy who did well with casual relationships. He liked the stability of being with someone, not chasing pussy and trying to get laid all the time. When he was a freshman, he’d done that for a while. Hanging out with the guys on the team, it was hard not to get caught up in that, since it seemed to be the dominant culture. But he’d never liked it, it reminded him too much of how his dad operated. And he never wanted to be like him. By the time he was a sophomore, he’d started dating a girl. The guys had given him shit for a while, but it had been good-natured, and now no one even noticed when he didn’t hook up at parties between girlfriends.

Elena had been an exception. One he’d convinced himself wouldn’t hurt. But he’d grown attached, and tried moving them into the realm of committed relationship, and she’d broken up with him at the first opportunity. That was reality. She didn’t want to be in a relationship with him, and he wasn’t willing to accept less than that from her.

He tossed his pencil on his notebook. “Elena.” His voice came out low and gravelly, sounding like he was giving into her.

One corner of her mouth curved up in the sexy smile that always appeared right before they got naked. “Daniel.”

He let out a harsh breath and shook his head. “You said you wanted a place to crash.”

“Yeah. That doesn’t mean we can’t make each other feel good while I’m here.”

He closed his eyes to gather himself. “Elena, you broke up with me last week. Remember? Or were you hoping the concussion would make it so I’d forget? And hopefully not notice the fact that you haven’t talked to me all week?”

She crossed her arms, standing up straight, her seductive smile gone. “That’s not fair, Daniel.”

He let out a short laugh. “I’m not being fair? Please. If anyone has room to complain of unfair treatment here, it’s me. I got hurt, and you dropped me like I’m damaged goods.” He pointed a finger at her. “That’s not fair. And for you to show up here after a week of no contact and expect me to have sex with you? Completely unfair. Why did you come here, Elena?”

She held out a hand, palm up. “Does it really have to be over? Can’t we go back to how things were?”

He stood, his frustration starting to bubble over. “You’re the one who ended things. How could we possibly go back?”

It took a long time for her to answer, her eyes not meeting his, her lip caught between her teeth. When she finally spoke, her voice came out small, a pleading tone in it that he’d never heard from her before. “Please, Daniel. You—being with you, it’s the only thing that makes me forget.”

“What are you talking about?”

Her brown eyes met his at last. “When you touch me, I can finally stop thinking about all the other crap. You get my brain to shut off and make all the bad disappear. I need that. I don’t—“ She shook her head. “I don’t know how to deal without that.”

At first, her words warmed him. He made things better for her. But as what she said replayed in his head, it sounded darker, more sinister. Like … “So I’m like a drug for you? You want to feel better, so you come to me for a hit? And now you’re addicted and can’t figure out what to do without a fix. Is that what this is?”

Her eyes widened, and she shook her head, her hands up, palms out. “No, no. That’s not what I’m saying. You make me feel better, that’s all.”

“I make you feel better.”

She nodded, her expression relieved, like he finally got it. But that was the problem. He finally got it.

“I make you forget.”

“Exactly.”

“You’ve been using me. To make yourself feel better. The same way most people drink or get high when life is shitty.” He ran both hands over his head, trying to catch up with everything. No wonder she hadn’t wanted a relationship. “You’ve been using me.” Just like his dad had. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t seen it before.

“No, Daniel. That’s not how it was.”

He speared her with his eyes. “Yeah, that’s exactly how it was. You came over when you had a bad day or talked to your mom or spent all day working on stuff for your dad. You used me. Like my dad used to use me. And I thought you cared about me, just like I used to think he did. But you never wanted to be with me for me, because you liked me. You just liked that I could get you to stop thinking.” He chuckled, even though nothing about this was funny. “Most guys would probably be flattered that a chick was into him just so he could fuck her brains out.” Pause. “Too bad I’m not most guys.”

Stepping back into the bedroom, she drew in a breath that was half gasp, half sob. The sound felt like a punch to the gut. Or a kick to the head. The same ringing, distant feeling that he’d had a week ago was back. And he was suddenly so tired.

When she came back out she had on her own clothes again, her eyes not meeting his. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’ll go.” She took another one of those gasping, sobbing breaths. “I won’t bother you anymore.”

And she left, the door closing behind her lending a sense of finality to the conversation. This time, he didn’t consider going after her. Didn’t want to try to convince her to stay. Accepted the hollow feeling that carved into his chest. After the agony of the last week, now he just felt numb. Nothing had been how he’d thought it was with her.

At least now he knew.

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