Page 4 of Counterpoint and Harmony

Lauren takes a deep breath and holds it in. After a second she shakes her head and lets out the air in a noisy exhale. “Are you sure you want to go back at all?”

I lift one shoulder again. “I don’t know. But what else am I going to do?”

“You could quit, you know.”

“Yeah,” I say softly. She’s right. But she’s also wrong. Because the truth is, some part of me misses being Charlotte James. There are things about the last few months that were amazing and eye opening. Many of those things revolved around my time with Damian. But also learning to stand up to my mother. Deciding what I want and going after it. Standing on my own. Making decisions for myself, uninfluenced by a long list of handlers. That’s all new for me. Which is odd, considering most people my age have been making independent decisions for at least a few years at this point. But nothing about my life is normal.

If nothing else, the last few weeks have served to highlight that fact.

Normal people don’t have their secret identities revealed at a famous friend’s wedding. Normal people don’t have secret identities. Or famous friends.

But the thought of going back to my life before coming to Marycliff …

That makes me break into a cold sweat. I can’t do it. I can’t be the same girl I was before.

Which means I’ll have to come back as a different version of Charlotte James.

And that’s terrifying. Because I don’t know what this new version will look like. Or how she’ll be received.

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