Page 41 of Counterpoint and Harmony

Chapter Twenty-Two

Syncopation:a disturbance or interruption of the regular flow of downbeat rhythm with emphasis on the subdivision or upbeat

Damian

I carefully peel myself off Charlie’s body and go to the bathroom to deal with the condom. Propping my hands on the counter, I stare at my reflection in the mirror, a little fuzzy without my glasses.

What the fuck am I doing?

This isn’t like me at all.

But it’s Charlie.

No matter how much I was hurt and betrayed by her secrets, how much I wanted to move on, the reality is that I haven’t. I can’t. I doubt I would have been able to even if she’d stayed away.

I still love her. That’s the unvarnished, unpleasant truth. And I think I always will, even if she ends up destroying me completely.

Because the other truth is that she most likely will destroy me in the end. Our love has always burned hot and fierce, and with our opposing life choices, I see no other way for us to end than in a spectacular explosion, a supernova that leaves a black hole in its wake.

But I’m already caught in her gravitational field. Its force is irresistible.

I don’t know what to do at this point, how to play this, but I can’t hide in the bathroom forever.

“Hello?” Charlie’s voice is soft through the crack in the bathroom door.

At first I think she’s talking to me. “Hey,” I croak.

But when I open the door and walk out, she’s holding up a finger, her phone pressed to her ear. “You want to do dinner together again?”

I hear a voice on the other end, but can’t make out what it’s saying.

Charlie pulls the phone away from her mouth, keeping the top pressed to her ear, and mouths, “It’s Lauren.”

I nod my understanding and sit on the bed, waiting for her to finish talking.

“Okay. Hang on. Damian came by after he got back, and he’s still here. Let me check with him.” Lauren says something that makes Charlie give her reflexive fake smile. Her eyes flick to me and away again. “Ha. Right. Sure, Lauren. Hang on a sec.”

Pulling the phone down, she taps the mute button, blows out a breath, runs a hand through her hair, and finally looks at me. “Lauren wants to have dinner together again.”

I smirk. “I gathered. What else did she say? There at the end.”

Charlie purses her lips and shakes her head. “Nothing. It doesn’t matter. Do you want to have dinner together again? Or should I … make some excuse?”

I study her for a second, trying to figure out what’s wrong with her. I mean, I know what’s wrong with me, but I didn’t expect this avoidance from her. Though I probably should’ve. Deflection is her second language, after all.

But if she can deflect, so can I. “What do you think?”

She fixes me with a glare that she must’ve perfected while living with Lauren—same arched brow, same pursed lips, and I have to hold back a smile. “That’s not an answer.”

Dropping my gaze, I smooth my hand over the duvet, still rumpled from our recent activities. “You’re the one with a performance tomorrow.”

“Oh, please. It’s a small show with a small audience. No pyrotechnics. No grueling rehearsals with backup dancers and all that. It’ll be a piece of cake. Natalie and I visited the venue and made sure everything was set. The piano will be delivered and tuned tomorrow morning. I’m not worried at all.” She sucks in a big breath, holding it for a second before letting it go. “The question is”—her voice is softer now, the dismissive quality gone—“do you want to cut short our time alone? Or do you want me to make an excuse to Lauren? I could tell her I need to prepare for the show tomorrow or something.”

Needing something to cover my discomfort, I reach for my underwear. “Don’t lie to your friend.”You’ve already lied to me enough for everyone, haven’t you?But I keep that thought firmly inside. It’s not fair.

Charlie’s quiet, and I swear I can feel her eyes on me, but by the time I pull on my jeans, standing to zip and button them before turning to face her, she’s turned away, the phone to her ear again. “Yeah, let’s do dinner together in my room.” Pause. “No. Yeah. Everything’s fine.” Pause. “Yeah. I’ll text Natalie to let her know we’re doing a repeat of last night. Do you want the same thing? Or would you rather try something different?”

She looks up at me then, seeming to include me in the question. I shrug in response, and she rolls her eyes. “Damian just shrugged, so he’s no help. Come on over, and we’ll decide what to do when you get here.” She stands and starts quickly grabbing her clothes while she says goodbye to Lauren.

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