Page 44 of Unrivaled

Is this his way of offering support?

Even if it’s not, I’ll pretend it is. Because at this point, I’ll take whatever I can get.

At long last, Ben nibbles the last of his cornbread covered hot dog off its stick and proceeds to tap the stick on every available surface. Grayson glances at me, apprehension clouding his gaze.

Sucking in a deep breath, I decide it’s time to rip off the Band-Aid, so to speak. “Hey, Ben,” I say lightly and wait for him to glance at me so I know he’s listening. “How would you like it if you got to see Mommy’s friend Grayson a lot more often.”

Ben looks between Grayson and me. “Sure.” Then to Grayson. “Will you swing me?”

Laughing, Grayson wipes his hands on a napkin, even though he already did that, crumples it up and drops it on his tray. “As often as you want.” Despite his easy answer, I can see the lines of tension drawing his muscles up tight.

Ben sits up straighter, excitement lighting his face. “I want itevery day!”

That provokes more chuckles from Grayson, but again, all I can muster is a sickly smile.

“I don’t know if we can doeveryday,” I tell Ben. “Grayson has classes and football and other things he needs to do too.”

“You play football?” Ben asks, perking up at that word. “My grampa plays football. Right, Mommy?”

I nod. “Yeah. He coaches more than he plays these days. But you and he like to play football together, don’t you?” Ben nods eagerly, looking at Grayson to see his reaction.

“I could play football with you too,” Grayson says, and Ben’s eyes grow comically wide.

“Really?” This kid is in heaven.

“Really,” Grayson confirms, his smile wide, and he glances at me like he wants me to share in his pleasure.

“Maybe you guys can do football next weekend,” I suggest.

Ben wiggles in his seat, overflowing with excitement. “Can we, Mommy? Please?”

I gesture at Grayson. “If it’s okay with Grayson.”

At his nod, I suck in another breath. Because now it’s time to drop the bomb.

Leaning down so I’m closer to Ben’s level, I peer into his face. “Ben, there’s something important I want to tell you.”

I hear Grayson inhale sharply, then cough like he aspirated some crumbs. Straightening, I glance at him, eyebrows raised. “You alright?”

Nodding, Grayson waves me off. “Go on,” he says, voice hoarse. “Keep going.”

Right. Here goes nothin’.

“You know how Grampa is Mommy’s Dad?” I ask Ben.

His eyebrows pinch together. “And Gramma is your Mommy, right?”

“Right. Well, did you know you have a daddy too?”

Ben’s eyes grow huge again, and then he’s back to confusion, shaking his head. “No, I don’t. I have a mommy and a gramma and a grampa. That’s my family.”

“That’s true,” I hedge, risking a glance at Grayson, who sits impassively, waiting for me to spit it out. They did a whole thing about family relationships in preschool before winter break. That was really the first time the question of Ben’s dad has come up. And I did my best to brush it aside and gloss over the lack, emphasizing that he’s lucky since he gets to live withthreegrownups who love and care about him, and not just one or two.

And now that’s kinda coming back to bite me in the ass.

“But everybody has a dad, because it takes a mommy and a daddy to make a baby. It’s just …” I pause, mouth open, not quite sure what to say or how much to explain. “Your daddy had to be away for a while.”

“How come?” Oh, my heart is dying from his sweet little innocent face wanting to understand things that he really can’t.

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