Page 45 of Unrivaled

He abandoned us. He didn’t want us.But that’s maybe not true, after all. And even if it were, I couldn’t tell my son that, even if Grayson weren’t sitting right here.

A glance at Grayson reveals that his mouth is also open like he’s about to say something, but similarly can’t figure out what exactly that should be.

So I go with something easy. “Sometimes grownups have to do things, and sometimes those things take them away from their kids. Anyway, the point is, your daddy is back, and he wants to spend time with you.”

Brows pinched together again, Ben cocks his head. “Where is he?”

“Right here,” says Grayson, his voice low and gruff like he’s trying and not quite succeeding at holding back his emotions.

Ben cocks his head and studies Grayson. “You’re my daddy?”

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Gray

That word, that question, from that guileless face in that cute little kid voice … My heart thumps hard as my insides rearrange themselves to make room for this little guy who’s burrowing his way in without even trying.

I nod and clear my throat. “Yeah. Yeah, bud. I’m your dad. Oh, and I, uh, got you something.” I set the dinosaur on the table in front of him, hating the lie that I got it. His mom got it to help me look good.

Which is totally unexpected. Why would she be wanting to help me look good? Wouldn’t it be easier on her if Bendidn’tlike me? So the fact that she eventhoughtabout helping me out and then went to the trouble of hiding a toy from him so I can pass it off as a gift from me has my feelings even more twisted up. I’m already falling for this kid. And my attraction to Tiffany is undeniable. But there’s a difference between attraction and feelings. I’ve been attracted to plenty of women and not acted on it. If she’s going to do things like this, help me out like this, there’s a real possibility that feelings will enter the mix, and I don’t know how to handle that.

Ben picks up the dinosaur and makes a roaring sound, then looks between me and his mom. “Can we get ice cream?”

Tiffany stills, staring at him for a second, and when she glances at me, her lips twitch in amusement. “Umm,” her voice shakes a little, but then she comes to a decision. “Sure. Yeah. Yes, let’s get ice cream.”

Hopping out of his seat, Ben takes off for the ice cream place. Tiffany gives me a bewildered look before following after him.

I rise more slowly, uncertain if I should go with them or not. But then Ben runs back in my direction, past Tiffany standing with her hands on her hips, an indulgent smile on her face.

“Mommy’s friend!” he yells. “Come on! Ice cream!”

Mommy’s friend.I guess that explains his nonchalance in the face of life changing information. No screaming or crying. Only a few minutes of confusion followed by ice cream. Me as his dad doesn’t make sense to him. Not yet, anyway.

Determination fills me. He’ll learn what it means to have a dad eventually. I’ll make sure of that, at least.

Giving him a smile, I hold out my hand for his. “Call me Gray,” I tell him. That seems safest since he hasn’t quite grasped the idea that I’m his dad.

“I’ve got the ice cream,” I tell Tiffany as she falls in step beside us. She nods and picks up Ben, holding him up so he can point at the flavor he wants.

Tiffany gives me another glance, her brows raised in question, and when I nod, she orders a cone for herself. I hesitate, because this wasn’t part of my meal plan today, but decide to splurge on a small cone as well.

Ben eats his ice cream cone with relish, while Tiffany and I are more subdued. I’m not sure how she’s feeling, but I’d built this up in my head a lot, expecting to have to deal with a lot of questions or emotions, but Ben seems … entirely unfazed. More concerned with corndogs and ice cream than the question of his paternity. Of course, he’s three, so I guess it doesn’t mean that much to him.

After we finish our ice cream, Tiffany cleans up Ben with the wipes from her bag and takes him to the bathroom, which I’m guessing means he uses the toilet and doesn’t wear diapers still, but I should probably ask just to be sure. I also need to make a list of things that I’ll need for him before he stays with me for any length of time. I mean, we’re going to be doing visits all together for … a while. We haven’t settled on what that’ll mean in practice. I guess we’re being flexible and seeing how Ben handles everything.

As promised, Tiffany and I swing Ben from the exit to the car with him giggling all the way. I wait, watching her strap him into his car seat, then she stands and stares at me for a moment, arms crossed against the cold, the tip of her nose a little pink from the time we’ve been out here already.

I stuff my hands in my pockets so I don’t reach for her. Because everything in me wants to wrap my arms around her and hold her close. Maybe it’s not so much that feelings are possible. Feelings seem to have already entered the chat. “Thanks,” I manage to get out gruffly. “For this.”

She nods, avoiding my gaze and tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “Yeah. Sure. Of course. Thanks for buying the ice cream.”

“No problem.”

“So, uh, next weekend, then?”

I nod, hating the stilted quality of our conversation. Hating that I don’t have access to either of them whenever I want. “And preschool pickup. So I guess I’ll see you on Monday.”

Her eyes widen a fraction, then she’s nodding again. “Right. Yeah, of course. See you Monday.”

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