Page 54 of Unrivaled

I hum and nod, looking down to pick at a piece of lint on the couch. “And where does that leave us?”

“Us?” he asks.

I nod toward Ben. “Us. Ben and me. In relation to you. How’s this going to work once you’re gone? You get him all attached and just …” I spread my hands in front of me, “vanish back into the ether from whence you came? What about Ben?”

His eyebrows crimp together. “What about Ben? I’m not just going to drop you like a sack of rocks and vanish into the ether, like you put it. I’ll still be in touch.”

“It won’t be the same.”

He stares at me for a long moment. “No,” he says at last. “It won’t be.”

* * *

Putting in my earrings, I pause a moment to look at my reflection. My hair falls in soft ringlets around my shoulders in a half-up style, my makeup is flawless, and my dangly silver earrings catch the light. I picked out my favorite blue dress with the low V-neck that always makes me feel good.

Will Grayson like it?flits through my head unbidden. I shouldn’t be thinking about him or what he might think of my outfit, though, because I’m going on a date with someone else.

Another pang of guilt hits me. Anton had asked me out a couple weeks ago, before Grayson even kissed me the first time. I’d actually forgotten about it until yesterday when Anton caught up to me after our biology class and asked if he could pick me up for our date.

I’d politely declined and said I’d meet him at the restaurant. He’d clearly been disappointed, but it was that or cancel altogether, because I don’t like being trapped on a first date like that.

When I’d asked Grayson that afternoon if he’d wanted to do their first overnight on Friday night, i.e. tonight, at first he was thrilled. But when he found out it was so I could go on a date, his attitude soured dramatically.

Not enough that he was anything less than his usual self with Ben when we picked him up from preschool, but his responses to me were short, bordering on curt, and while he still hugged me goodbye—which has become a thing since that first time at his place—it was perfunctory and lacked the usual warmth that makes me look forward to them.

Sighing, I run my hands down my sides and turn away from the mirror, sitting on my bed to put on my knee high boots, then gathering my clutch and heading into the hallway.

Mom meets me, giving me a once over, her expression disgruntled. Still. She was even less happy than Grayson when I told her I had a date tonight and that Ben would be spending the night with Grayson. I’m not sure if it’s the date or the overnight visit that she actually objects to.

Sighing, I take Ben’s little suitcase from her. “It’s just a date, Mom. I’m not planning on marrying the guy.”

She gives me a sharp look in response, but doesn’t say anything.

“And it’s inevitable for Ben to spend the night with Grayson. We’ve known this was coming for a while. And I believe him. About what happened senior year. He really didn’t know about Ben, and now that he does, he’s doing his best.”

Pursing her lips, Mom shakes her head. “Yes, I know you’ve said that. But you also said he’ll be leaving in just a few months. Where does that leave the two of you then?”

“I don’t know, Mom,” I say on a sigh. “Pretty much where we started.”

“And with a broken-hearted little boy on your hands.”

“Plenty of people have to be away from their children for long periods of time for work or because they’re deployed in the military or whatever. They survive. We can too.” At least that’s what I keep telling myself. No, I don’t know what that’ll look like, and we haven’t talked about it since last weekend’s unsatisfactory conversation, but we’re figuring this out. I’ve figured out everything since I found out I was pregnant, and I can keep figuring it out even with the new developments.

“It’ll be fine, Mom,” I say again, heading to the living room to get Ben into his coat so we can go.

Maybe if I tell myself that enough times, it’ll actually come true.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Gray

Nerves jangling, I scan my apartment to make sure I have everything I need. It’ll be my first time having Ben on my own, and it’ll be all night. We talked about a sleepover as a possibility the last time they were here, and Ben seemed excited by it. Even though I know Tiffany was less excited, I think her hesitation has more to do with this being the first time she’s ever been away from Ben all night.

They’re coming over right before dinner, and I made sure to stock the house with his favorites. It’s a little weird to stock so much pasta in my pantry since I don’t eat it at home very often, but if it means I can feed my son when he’s here, I don’t mind. I even got some ice cream special for his visit.

After that, we’ll play for a while and I’ll do as close to his usual bedtime routine as I can manage. While I’m sure it won’t be exactly what he’s used to, he’s at least already comfortable getting into all the things I have here for him—toys, art supplies, scissors, and even the plastic dishes I bought for him—without my mom’s help this time—and stashed in a lower cabinet so he could reach them.

I’m so wound up wanting everything to be perfect, that I jump at the knock on my door, even though I know it’s Tiffany and Ben. When I open it, Ben leaps at me, and I quickly crouch to catch him so that he doesn’t accidentally head butt my junk. He’s come uncomfortably close too many times, so I’ve gotten quicker at bending down to greet him out of necessity.

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