Page 14 of The Love Playbook

I clear my throat. “I’m just curious why.”

“Why what?” Her brows come together like she’s genuinely confused, but the smile never leaves her face.

I make a gesture with my hand. “Why are you here? With me?”

Her grin stretches wider. “I seem to recall you asked me on a date. Did you not?”

Chuckling, I shake my head. “Because you told me to.”

She lifts one shoulder, but doesn’t respond otherwise.

“Would you have said yes if you hadn’t decided I was hopeless and in need of help?”

Her eyes narrow, and she purses her lips as she considers the question. “Would you have ever asked if I hadn’t offered to help and then ordered you to?”

Sighing, I give her a crooked smile and shake my head. “I’m pretty sure you know the answer to that.”

“But I would think,” she continues almost like I hadn’t spoken, “that the answer would be obvious.” She leans forward over the table, her pendant dangling, drawing my attention to it and to her cleavage behind it. “Of course I’d have said yes if you’d have had the courage to ask me out. I’d never have offered to help you if I thought you were disgusting or hopeless.”

That brings my eyes to hers. “You don’t think I’m hopeless?”

She shakes her head, that Sphinx-like smile on her lips. “Why would I help someone who’s hopeless? By definition, they’re unable to be helped. Sure, you might be lacking in awareness and experience. But both of those things can be learned.” She gestures one hand at me, encompassing the table. “Hence, here we are. On your first official lesson. And already you’re becoming more observant, more aware. And more courageous. I’m not sure you would’ve been able to ask me that question even a week ago.”

I know she’s saying a lot of important things, but the fact she doesn’t think I’m hopeless is the one that sticks out the most. I’ve felt ridiculously out of my depth with women for years. In high school I didn’t notice as much, but since I started college? It’s much more noticeable. Especially with teammates pairing off in serious relationships, talking about kids and anniversaries and the future.

Random hookups have never really interested me. Maybe that’s why I’ve trained myself to be oblivious to girls at parties trying to flirt with me. I know they don’t want a relationship with me, and that’s the only way I can see myself ever wanting to be with someone.

The whole thing seems so intimate. Personal. And potentially life altering. I’ve seen the consequences first hand. Why would I risk that with someone I don’t even know? Why would I stick my dick in someone I don’t know if I even like?

Autumn rolls her hand. “Spit it out, Jackson. It helps me know what to do next if I know what you’re freaking out about.”

Smiling, I shake my head. “I’m not freaking out.”

She arches an eyebrow in disbelief.

“I’m not,” I protest. “I was just thinking that watching my sister become a mother as a teenager definitely made me avoid dating. But also that I’ve never been interested in random hookups. So if I’m not dating, and I’m not hooking up, of course I wouldn’t have the opportunity to gain any experience.”

She nods, her face serious. “Very true. So let me ask you a question: how far are you wanting things between us to go?”

CHAPTER EIGHT

Autumn

I hold my breath as I wait for his answer. When I asked if he was willing to do more than kissing, he’d nodded. But we never specified where the line is. If he only wants to go to second base or something, I’m going to be really disappointed. Because I’ve been fantasizing about getting my hands on this boy since I came up with this wild idea. And if he shuts it down before we even get started?

Well, I mean obviously I’ll respect that, but I’ll definitely be bummed.

He opens his mouth, his eyes wide, his cheeks turning pinker by the second. This guy is too cute for his own good. Closing his mouth, he clears his throat, his cheeks all the way red now, and the tips of his ears too. “Um, well, uh, I, uh.” He clears his throat again. “I’m not exactly sure. What, uh, what did you have in mind?”

Trying to play it cool, I sit back in my chair and lift one shoulder in a shrug. “Remember, the goal is to get comfortable with dating, and part of that includes being able to discuss these kinds of boundaries.” I pause, holding his gaze. “Obviously I have my own, but I’m willing to bet that mine are far more expansive than yours. We can talk about it more as things progress if you’re not ready for this conversation right now. For tonight, as I said before, I had planned on a goodnight kiss at most. And since it’s a first date, a closed mouth kiss is fine. Unless, of course, you feel comfortable with more than that.”

His eyes drop to my lips, and he swallows hard. “Are you expecting me to kiss you?”

I smile, watching his lips as well. “That is the goal, yes. Of course, you’re not required to if you don’t want to. But you seemed to enjoy it when I kissed you before. I think it would be good for you to initiate, though. I don’t mind initiating, obviously, but a lot of women prefer the man to do that. And our purpose is to help you be more comfortable dating in general, so helping you learn to do that would be beneficial, don’t you think?”

His eyes dark, he dips his chin in a nod.

“I’m so sorry to keep you waiting this long,” says a breathless voice to my right.

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