Page 36 of The Love Playbook

Eli heads into the living room to greet our first arrivals—Dylan, Liam, and Andrew from the sounds of it. No surprise. They started coming regularly last spring, and we’ve been hanging out with them more this year than last. They’re a year younger, but last year we were the younger guys hanging out with the seniors. Since they’re all gone, we have to replace the holes in our friend group, and they seem to have claimed those spots.

They’re pretty cool, over all, even if they are quite a bit louder than Gray and Simon and Cal. At least none of them are dating each other’s sisters. That got messy last year. We don’t need more of that kind of drama for sure.

I hang back in the kitchen for longer than really necessary, fussing over the snacks and drinks, hoping someone else will show up. Because I know that these guys’ arrival isn’t enough to distract Eli for long. They’re all aware I’ve been seeing Autumn, too, so they’ll also want to know what’s going on.

Whoever said girls are the gossipy ones was obviously never involved in team sports, because starting in high school, gossip has been as much a part of team life as practices, drills, and games. The only reason it doesn’t start earlier is because the middle school teams aren’t school sponsored, so we’re not all together all the time and we don’t travel to other schools like you do in high school. All that time on buses, and now planes in college, means we have to pass the time somehow. And there are only so many rounds of Tetris and Candy Crush a guy can play before he’s bored. So gossip it is.

My plan pays off, and I hear the door open and close a few more times while I’m stalling, the voices all mixing together enough that I’m not sure who all is here or not. Could Autumn be here already?

Holding my breath, I make my way out of the kitchen and slip into the living room. And let out my breath, disappointed.

No Autumn.

But also no Dani or Ellie or Piper, so it’s possible she could still come.

It’s also possible she’s avoiding me.

I could text her, I guess. But will that make me look needy? Do I actually care about that?

Yeah. Yeah, I do, it turns out.

There are rules around dating, and I know none of them. Which I know is why I’m involved with Autumn in the first place. But I know enough on my own to know that being needy and desperate are firmly in the Don’t Do It column. And even though she’s in this to help me, the last thing I want is for Autumn to view me as desperate. I care about her opinion of me. I want what we’re doing to continue as long as possible. Ilikeher. And I’ve started liking her even more after spending so much time with her.

I know that I’m just a project to her and not someone she’s actually interested in having a relationship with. The fact she’s willing to let me return the favor by organizing her space makes that part more bearable.

But shedoesfind me attractive. And she’s said that she likes me. And some naive part of me can’t help but hope that maybe her desire to help me will turn into a desire to just be with me.

So. Needy and desperate are not an option.

It doesn’t stop me from looking up hopefully every time the door opens, though.

Dylan bumps into me from behind, laughing. “Dude. Take a turn at the game or something. Quit staring at the door like a lovesick puppy. She’ll get here when she gets here.”

Turning, I give him a shove, catching him off guard enough that he stumbles back a few steps, shock on his face. “Shut up, man.”

That just makes him cackle. We both know he has a point. Heading for the couch, I gesture for the controller and take the seat someone vacates for me. It’s not often I claim my prerogative as one of the hosts to take whatever spot in the lineup that I want. But Dylan’s right. If any night is the night to do it, it’s this one.

Lovesick puppy is not the look for me.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Autumn

It’s silly to feel this much apprehension and anticipation about going to game night at Eli and Jackson’s. We go nearly every week. We’ve been going since last year. This is one of the few fixed points of our schedule, one of the few times that all four of us go somewhere together.

Our class schedules, boyfriends, and various other interests pull us in a variety of directions all week long. And the weekends aren’t much better, usually. Dani never misses a home game. Piper and Ellie have started watching football on TV since their boyfriends made it to the NFL. And Piper’s brother too. She follows his team as much as Cal’s.

Dani usually watches with them, because she’s just a genuine fan. Actually, I think Piper is too, because sometimes she seems conflicted about who to root for when Cal’s team plays the team she’s been a fan of since she was a kid.

I think going to games in real life is fun. It’s a great source of energy, and it’s so interesting to watch people interact with each other and the game. But the game itself? I really don’t find it that interesting on its own. I respect the passion and dedication it takes to play it at a high level, but … that’s about it.

Which is why it’s kind of funny that I’ve ended up living with three football fans, even if Ellie was a lot like me until she started dating Simon. Now she follows the sport religiously, asking questions of Piper and Dani like a novice being inducted into a closed order who’s required to learn a certain amount before being elevated to the next level.

And now I’m seeing a football player too. Am I going to end up watching games like everyone else?

I have to stifle a laugh at the thought. Fat chance of that happening. Jackson and I aren’t a real couple for one thing. There’s no need for me to go to his games or follow his stats or anything. He doesn’t expect that, and I’m not offering it.

Likewise, he doesn’t have to humor my weird tangents about moon phases or my plans for the year.

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