Page 48 of The Love Playbook

“Please, Ellie. We’ve been over this. Jackson knows what we’re doing. He understands what this is. We’re both on the same page. He’ll be fine. I promise.”

Ellie rolls her eyes. “He’snot the one I’m worried about.”

That has me jerking my head back in surprise. That’s new and different. But then … “So who are you worried about?”

“Are you joking? You!” She’s so exasperated that it’d be funny if it were about anyone or anything else.

“Me? Why are you worried about me? I do this kind of thing all the time.”

She laughs. Actually laughs. “No you don’t, Autumn. You don’t do this kind of thing ever. I mean, I suppose it’s possible you’ve done it at home or in high school. But around me?” She shakes her head. “Nope.” She pops the P. “Definitely not all the time.”

I cross my arms and stare her down, but she remains unfazed. “What exactly is it that I’m doing now that you haven’t seen me do before?”

Cocking her hip, she holds up a finger, clearly preparing to count off her points. Uh-oh. I should’ve kept my questions to myself. This might go on for a while, and Jackson’s going to be here any minute.

“I’ve never seen you stick with a guy for this long.” Another finger. “While it’s possible you’ve decided to be someone’s sex tutor before, or whatever you’re calling this”—she waves a hand to dismiss the terminology question—“I’venever been aware of it. Which brings me back to my first point—if you’ve tutored”—she makes air quotes with her hands—“someone like this before, you stopped after one or two sessions. With Jackson …” She trails off with a shake of her head.

“Plus, I saw you at game night after he left. Remember? That was not the behavior of someone who’s unaffected by what’s going on between you.” She circles her finger in the air in front of me.

Sighing, I shake my head. “Fine. Okay. You’re right.” She blinks in surprise that morphs into understanding when I look at my phone and say, “Jackson’s on his way over. Time to go now. Bye-bye.”

“Alright. I’ll get out of your way. Just … be careful, okay?”

“I’ve told you a million times, Ellie. I’m always careful.” I give her a quick hug before she can slip out the door. “I appreciate the concern. I really do. But I can take care of myself, okay?”

“I know.” She gives me one last searching look and a small smile before stepping through the door and closing it behind her.

Closing my eyes, I pull in a deep breath, feeling the energy in my body and sending it down into the earth to ground myself before Jackson arrives. It’s sweet of Ellie to be worried about me, but once again, her concern is misplaced.

Sure, yes, I was a little upset after the way my encounter with Jackson ended last week at game night, and I’ve pretty much decided that I should give this week a miss so as to avoid a repeat of last time. It’s just better and safer for both of us. No temptation to go into his room and fool around, especially since we’ve agreed that spacing it out to once a week is best for both of us. We’re not a couple. We don’t need to see each other or talk on the phone daily. And yeah, okay, we text most days. But I text my friends a lot too. That’s not the same thing.

And why am I defending myself in my own head? I’m supposed to be getting rid of this energy so I can focus on Jackson once he gets here.

With another deep breath, I push all my frustration with Ellie’s worries down into the earth too, pulling in good energy to replace it.

A knock on the door draws me out of my brief grounding meditation, and a smile comes to my face unbidden.

Jackson’s here.

When I open the door and gesture him inside, he wastes no time coming in. But once inside, he shoves his hands in the pockets of his jeans—I’m so used to seeing him in athletic clothes that he looks almost dressed up in jeans and a short-sleeved henley—and looks everywhere but at me, the tips of his ears noticeably pink.

Wanting to put him at ease, I step in close, my hand on his chest. “Hey,” I say softly, catching his eye.

He returns my small smile with a tight grimace that makes me chuckle.

“What’s that face?”

He chuckles too, pulling a hand out of his pocket to squeeze the back of his neck. “It’s just … I—” With a helpless look on his face, he drops his hand at his side and lets out a harsh breath.

“You’re nervous? Because you know why we’re here. And …” I raise my eyebrows, inviting him to fill in the blank.

Shaking his head, he looks away again. “And Eli saw your text,” he mumbles at last.

“Ah.” Oops. I didn’t think about that possibility. “And?”

His cheeks turn pink now too. “And he’s been cool about it, not really saying anything. But he cackled when he told me to have fun when I left today. And knowing that someone else knows what I … what we …” He makes a half-hearted gesture between us, then drops his hand again. “Him knowing what we’re going to do is …”

“Embarrassing?” I offer.

---