Page 65 of The Love Playbook

She startles a little, which is adorable, but returns my kiss. Maybe she’s nervous about us making this transition. “Hey.” I smile down at her. “Let me just grab a coffee, okay?”

After she nods, I head for the counter. Once my order is placed, I loiter near it, turning to observe Autumn.

She’s fiddling with her phone, which is unlike her. I’m used to seeing her people watching. Between the other customers here and the activity outside the window, she has plenty of options. Another indicator that she’s nervous, I guess.

Coffee in hand, I make my way to the table, smiling again as I claim my seat across from her. “Hey,” I say again. “How are you? How was your day?”

She sips her coffee, looks away, fiddles with her phone before flipping it face down. Then she tucks her hands under her thighs, the action causing her shoulders to hunch a little as she leans toward me. “Um, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Mmhmm.” My brows pull together, because while I can understand nerves being in the mix about suggesting our relationship go from what it was to something more, this level of discomfort seems uncalled for. Especially for someone as confident and secure in herself as Autumn. Is she really that worried I’ll turn her down? If nothing else, I thought me telling her how amazing she is last night might’ve clued her in that I really like her.

“So …” She pulls one of her hands out and moves her phone again, her focus there as she speaks. “Um. As you know, our agreement was that I’d introduce you to sex and dating so that you could feel more confident when either approaching or being approached by women.”

“Uh huh.”

“Given your hard limits about not wanting to risk pregnancy, we’ve done what we set out to do. And so our arrangement has reached its conclusion.” She finally raises her eyes to mine. “I’ve considered you a friend for a while now, and I’d like it if we could go back to that. I understand if that’s not possible for you, though.”

Because I’ve been expecting her to tell me that she’s ready to move our relationship from this contractual agreement to something else, it takes a minute for what she’s actually said to register.

“I, uh, wait, what?”

She takes a deep breath, straightens her spine, and pulls her shoulders back. “Our time together was only intended to serve as an introduction. And you’re a quick study, Jackson. Any woman would be lucky to have you. I hope you find someone who’s exactly what you want.”

“But I already have,” I blurt out.

She seems to pale, her lips pressing into a firm line. “Well, that’s great. I’m, um, I’m sure you’ll both be happy together. You’re a great guy, sweet and caring and kind. She’s very lucky.”

“What? Autumn. It’s you. I want you.”

The look on her face goes from stiff and pale to stricken in a flash. “Oh, Jackson,” she breathes, but not at all in the tone of voice I want to hear those words. Not breathless with happiness or fulfilled longing. No, it’s more like shock and horror.

I sit back in my chair, my entire body slack. “Are you serious right now?” I make an effort to keep my voice down, conscious of the other people around. But inside, I want to scream. “You honestly thought that I’d found someone else? Already?”

“Jackson, you know what we agreed. We’ve talked about this more than once. This is all that was ever supposed to be between us.” The words are quiet but firm. That firmness sends them echoing through my bones the same as if they’d been shouted over a loudspeaker.

“That’s bullshit, Autumn. And you know it. Maybe that was what we agreed, but I know you felt more than that too.”

All she does is shake her head.

I narrow my eyes. She’s lying. I know she is. “Fine. But if I’m such a great guy like you said, why wouldn’t you date me?”

“I don’t do relationships.” Another quiet, steely statement.

I stare at her for a long moment, not sure what else to do. Nothing about this meeting is going as I’d expected. “Why not?”

That question finally provokes something out of her. She throws her hands in the air, her voice growing louder. “Who cares? Why is that your business? We’renotin a relationship. You don’t get to demand answers. And I’m not obligated to give them.”

I nod slowly and lean forward. “Fine. You’re right. You’re not obligated to give me anything. We have, according to you, fulfilled our agreement, though I’d argue that there’s still at leastonething that we haven’t done.”

“Because that’s your limit.” She lowers her voice to little more than a hiss. “Nothing that even comes close to risking pregnancy.You’rethe one who doesn’t trust condoms or my knowledge of my cycle. There’s not really anything I can do about that.”

I grind my teeth, hating that she’s right. Hating that she never pushed me on that boundary, even though at this point, I’d be willing to do it. I’d risk getting her pregnant if it meant I got to keep her.

“Is that—”

She cuts me off before I can even finish voicing the question. “Seriously, Jackson? You think that little of me? You thinkthat’swhy I’m ending things? Not because things have come to their natural end?”

“Have they, though?” I push. “Because I’m not ready for this to end. And from the way you’re acting, I don’t believe you are either.”

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