Page 9 of The Love Playbook

He colors again, though not as bad as before, and nods. “Yeah. My mom got really big into giving me the sex talk at every opportunity. And every opportunity was pretty much daily, especially when Naomi had morning sickness. ‘You don’t want to be responsible for doing this to some poor girl, do you?’” Shifting his shoulders, he sips his coffee.

His natural shyness combined with that kind of object lesson? Everything is starting to make a lot of sense to me now.

CHAPTER FIVE

Jackson

I adjust in my seat, as though that might make me more comfortable.

The problem isn’t the chair, though. It’s Autumn’s unflinching and assessing gaze. I swear to god she can see right inside my soul. Hanging out with her feels like she’s found a secret entrance to my brain and is rifling around inside.

When I decided to take her up on her offer, I had no idea it would be like this. I feel exposed. Stripped bare. Picked apart.

Have to say, I’m not a fan.

I’m really tempted to call this off. The longer we sit here, the more she asks questions, the more the words start to assemble themselves, waiting to spill out of my mouth:I appreciate the offer, Autumn, but I’ve changed my mind. I don’t think this is a good idea after all.

I have a feeling she wouldn’t let it go at that, though.

No, she wouldn’t pressure me. Not exactly. But Autumn has a strange persuasiveness about her when she wants to. And she’s decided that I’m a fun project for some reason. I can tell. She has that same glint in her eye that she had last semester when she was trying to work behind the scenes to orchestrate Tiffany and Gray getting together.

She didn’t have a lot of direct involvement, no. But she found out what I was up to when I helped Gray confront Tiffany about their son. And when she saw them together, she got this calculating light in her eye and pumped me for information, making sure to put herself in Tiffany’s path as often as possible to try to steer her in what Autumn considered the right direction.

Apparently this is something she does. She claims it’s only when it will benefit the people involved. If she’d thought Gray was bad news, she would’ve done everything she could to steer Tiffany away from him.

It’s interesting to me that now she seems to think that she’s the best person to benefit me.

Has she had a crush on me for a while, maybe?

I have to stifle a snort at that thought. I don’t get the feeling that Autumn has crushes, exactly. It’s more like she decides she wants a guy and goes after him.

Except the reason she’s decided on me is because she wants to help me. I’m not entirely sure what that entails, though. Help me … understand flirting? Dating? Sex? I mean, realistically I can use the help with all of it. But I’m not sure how I feel about her taking me on as a project, exactly. Because it feels a lot like a pity thing when I stop and think about it, except she’s never once looked at me with pity in her eyes.

Curiosity and interest and calculation, yes. But never pity.

And that’s what’s really stopping me from calling it off.

That plus the memory of the way she kissed me the other night.

It’s been so long since I kissed someone that I forgot what it felt like. That or my kiss with Lauren Targer in eighth grade wasn’t anywhere near as good. Probably both.

Autumn gives me a disarming smile. “I’m sorry, Jackson. I know I’m making you really uncomfortable with all my questions. But I need to know things so I know the best way to go about helping you. My goal is to help you with all things dating related, up to and including sex if you’re open to it.” My eyes widen, my cheeks hot enough to fry an egg.

To her credit, Autumn doesn’t acknowledge my furious blush at all. “That’s not a requirement, of course. I’m happy to help you within your boundaries. If you decide you don’t want to do anything below the belt, then that’s what we’ll do.” She holds up a finger. “It is okay for you to change your mind, though. If you decide you want more, or less, or to end this arrangement altogether, you just have to tell me. Okay?”

I clear my throat several times, trying to muster the ability to speak. But it’s impossible, so I give a stilted nod.

She smiles again. “Good. But just so you know, I will be pushing you outside of your comfort zone within whatever boundaries you set. Because how else are you going to try anything new?”

Leaning back in my chair, I clear my throat. “Okay,” I grate out. I’m still going to blush every time she introduces something new, even if it’s something I’ve agreed to. But I think that goes without saying.

But that means I need to decide how far I’m willing to go. I definitely don’t want to risk knocking anyone up. Not unless we’re in a serious relationship. And as much as I like Autumn, I know that’s not what she’s offering right now. So I guess sex is off the table.

I know thereareother activities, though. I mean, besides listening to my teammates brag in the locker room about all their exploits, I’ve watched plenty of porn.

What else is a horny twenty-year-old guy supposed to do when he’s apparently entirely unaware of girls flirting with him? And even if he noticed, doesn’t know what to do about it other than blush and run away?

But Autumn won’t let me run away. Not without chasing after me and askingwhy? Andwhat are you thinking? Andhow are you feeling? AndI’ll just kiss you and then there’s no doubting that I’m flirting with you.

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