Page 10 of Offsides

I roll my eyes. “Nothing. Absolutely nothing is wrong with my body. But you have to admit, I’m not the most feminine girl on the planet.”

Autumn shrugs. “So?”

“So the girls Eli normally hits on are. And last night I looked much more feminine.”

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

That question stops me in my tracks. I wasn't expecting her to ask that. "I'm not really sure about that either."

"Would you like to try dressing that way again sometime?”

“Yessss.” I draw the word out slowly, testing how it feels as I say it. It’s true, though. I’ve thought about it more and more. Ellie and Piper both have gorgeous straight hair that falls around their shoulders in perfect curtains. Autumn has waves and, with her wild colors, looks like she could be a mermaid.

My ponytail always looks kind of bushy and unkempt, even when it’s freshly brushed. I even thought about getting a flat iron for a hot minute, but then I realized how much work it’d be to flat iron tiny section by tiny section of my long, thick hair. Hard pass. I want my hair to look nicer, but not enough to spend an hour or more doing that to it. I can’t even stand blow drying my hair because it just takes way too long, and I never mastered the brushing technique necessary to make it not look extra frizzy.

But what Autumn did to my hair last night didn’t take a ridiculous amount of time. Sure, it was more than my usual run a brush through it and put it in a ponytail, and we did spend a fair amount of time with the hair dryer, but she used a diffuser, and I ended up with bouncy waves rather than crazy, poofy frizz.

Picking up my coffee, I move to the table and sit across from her. “I’d like to learn how you did my hair last night. Even now, my ponytail looks a lot nicer than normal.”

Autumn beams. “Oh good! I was kinda hoping you’d ask. I’ve been dying to see how much curl your hair really has, but I know you’re not usually into hair and makeup stuff, so I didn’t want to push.”

My cheeks heat a little, and I bury my face in my coffee mug to cover my twinge of embarrassment. Autumn’s not pointing that out in a mean way. It’s an observation with no judgment and also an acknowledgment of personal boundaries. She’s noticed I’ve never bothered with those things, so she’s assumed I’m not interested.

“I spent all my time with guys in high school,” I mutter after a moment. “They all made fun of girls who spent too much time on their hair and makeup.” I roll my eyes. “Of course, they only ever dated those kinds of girls too, so …” I shrug again as I let the sentence trail off.

Autumn grins. “Yeah. Typical guys. Whatever. I think they’re just jealous that we’re allowed to care that much about our appearance and it’s normal and expected while they have to pretend not to care while caring just as deeply. Plus, they think it makes them look more manly if they shit on ‘girl stuff.’” She makes air quotes with her fingers on the last part. “Most guys like when girls go to the effort to dress up and wear makeup, even if they bitch about it. So you really can’t win, can you? If you don’t do those things, you get shit on for not being girly. If you do, then you get shit on for being girly. So who gives a fuck what they think? If you want to wear makeup and do your hair or whatever, do it for you. If you don’t, then don’t. If you want to sometimes and not others, that’s cool too. Do what makes you happy.”

That hits me in a soft and tender place I wasn’t expecting. Wasn’t even fully aware of, really, and I let out an involuntary grunt.

“I’ll send you some links,” Autumn continues, “so you can look up the stuff I did on your own time. I’ll also send you the names of the products I used. Nothing too over the top. Just a mousse and a lightweight gel. With your waves, you don’t want anything super heavy. That’ll just weigh them down.”

I run a hand lightly over my ponytail. “I feel like it’s less frizzy than normal.”

She nods. “Yup. They help with that too. Frizz happens. It’s not a bad thing. But you can make it a little less all over the place.” She waves her hands around her head, and I laugh, which makes her grin. “But back to Eli. Are you okay with pretending the kiss never happened?”

That has the lingering smile dropping from my face. “I guess so.” Finishing my coffee, I stand and move to the sink. “It’s easier, right? To just ignore it? Chalk it up to …” I wave a hand around, searching for a way to finish that sentence. Nothing comes to me, though. He wasn’t drinking last night, so we can’t blame it on that. I was, but I didn’t make the first move. He did.

“Your hotness?” Autumn supplies, and a laugh splutters out of me. “What?” she protests. “It’s true. You’re smokin’. And you looked amazing last night. Didn’t you think so?”

I bobble my head from side to side. “I guess.”

She scoffs. “Of course you did. You don’t have to be modest with me.”

“Fine. My hotness drew him in, and he couldn’t help but kiss me. But we’re friends. He’s one of my best friends. And I don’t want to screw that up just because he thought I looked prettier than normal last night.”

Autumn holds up a finger. “One, you always look pretty. And two, if you don’t want anything to happen between you, then just continue treating him like you always have. No harm, no foul, right?”

The word foul makes my mind go to football. That was a foul. He moved before the play, as it were. Though I’m not sure I realized we were lining up on any kind of line of scrimmage.

I didn’t even know we were playing a game.

I just thought my friend had come to comfort me after a breakup. And now …

I’m more confused than ever.

CHAPTER SIX

Eli

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