Page 19 of Offsides

Too bad real life doesn’t turn out like nineties teen movies where the girl gets a makeover, everyone thinks she’s stunning, and she gets the guy in the end.

In real life, you let your friends give you a makeover, your best guy friend turns into a giant douchecanoe, and everyone else acts like you’ve grown a second head.

Rolling out of bed, I pull on a sweatshirt over my pjs of boxers and a tank top and add a pair of fuzzy socks to keep my feet warm on this chilly January day. No one was home yet when I dragged myself to bed to cry over my pathetic mess of a life, and I don’t know if anyone will be here now.

Ellie’s in the kitchen pouring herself some coffee when I get there. She turns at my entrance and gives me a smile, her eyes full of sympathy. “Hey. How’re you feeling?”

I lift one shoulder, not quite trusting myself to give voice to anything right now. I might just start blubbering again. The tears are still unpleasantly close to the surface. And while I’m consciously aware that Ellie wouldn’t judge me for crying and would, in fact, offer sympathy and support, the lifetime prohibition against crying in front of anyone is hard to overcome.

Crying makes you weak. At least that was the message I always received, especially from my dad, whose approval meant everything to me. Especially after my parents split. He left. And I think in some part of my poor ten-year-old mind, I thought that if I tried hard enough, became what he wanted, that maybe he would come back. That he would miss me enough to fix whatever went wrong.

Of course that didn’t actually work. And while I know that my parents’ divorce isn’t anything I could’ve ever fixednow, that didn’t stop little kid me from trying.

“Coffee?” Ellie asks, holding up the coffee pot.

I muster up a wan smile. “Please.” At least I can manage that much.

She grabs another mug from the cabinet and fills it for me, setting it in front of me before claiming the adjacent chair with her own mug. Hers is a light caramel color, because she takes it with copious amounts of creamer.

I taught myself to drink it black, because calories. I will sometimes splurge on a latte, though.

Ellie examines me as she sips her coffee, then wraps both hands around the mug. “So last night was … uh, something.”

Shaking my head, I offer another smile. “We really don’t have to do this, Ellie.”

I like Ellie. She’s kind and sweet and funny. But she and I aren’t that close. Piper and I are probably the closest, just because we lived together in the dorms and got to know each other when she was going through her phase where she pretended to be a loner and only studied and went to class. Before she met Cal, who’s Ellie’s brother, and now one of the backup quarterbacks for the Colorado Bison.

It’s crazy to me that I know two pro football players. That I live with the girlfriends of two pro football players, actually, because Ellie’s still dating Simon, the former left tackle at Marycliff University who got drafted by the Georgia Rebels. Piper’s brother is playing pro ball too, but I didn’t really spend as much time with him as I did with Cal and Simon. They came to the game nights at Eli’s because Piper came with me. Then when she started dating Cal, she became better friends with Ellie, who started coming too and brought Simon and Autumn into the mix.

And now … it looks like they’ll all get to continue going, especially since Autumn is dating Jackson, Eli’s roommate. And I’ll be the odd one out. Because after last night, I don’t think I can handle going to game nights again.

Ugh, I’m going to have to change my workout schedule too. I don’t want to see Eli at the gym anymore.

“What’s that face?” Ellie asks.

Rolling my eyes, I shake my head. “Just realizing some things.”

She leans her chin on her hand. “Such as?”

This time my smile’s a little more genuine. “You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

“Nope.” She lays her hand on the table. “Look, I know you and I aren’t the best of friends or anything. But I do care about you. And obviously something went down last night. I only got the half-overheard thirdhand version from Autumn, so I’m not really clear about what happened. I just know you left very early and now you look like you spent half the night crying. If you want to talk about it, I’m here, okay?”

Ellie’s kind words have a fresh wave of tears rising, and I duck my head, embarrassed at the ridiculousness of my own emotions. Blinking rapidly, I clear my throat a few times and then sip my coffee. “Where are Piper and Autumn?”

“Autumn stayed the night at Jackson’s, and Piper was going to get in the shower. Would you rather talk to one of them?”

Honestly? Kinda. But I don’t really want to talk to anyone, so I shake my head.

Ellie gives me another sympathetic look. “Boy trouble?”

I snort. “Yeah. You could say that.”

“Well, I’m pretty familiar with boys. I grew up with an exceptionally dumb one.” She leans forward and lowers her voice. “Don’t tell Piper I said that, though. She’d get pissed. But let’s be real, Cal’s no genius. Even if Piper’s too blinded by love to see it.”

That makes me laugh, and judging by Ellie’s satisfied smile that she unsuccessfully tries to hide behind her mug, that’s exactly what she was going for.

“Are all guys just dumb?” I ask before I can think better of it.

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