Page 24 of Offsides

“What?” I jerk around, blinking hard.

“Did you kiss him back? That night after karaoke. You said he kissed you. But did you respond?”

My mouth drops open, and I blink rapidly. “Uh, I, uh, um, I think so?”

“You only think so?”

Tearing my eyes from Autumn, I think back to that night. We were sitting on the couch. I was telling him about Luke. Then he scooted closer, and I leaned in for a hug. When I looked up at him, he kissed me. Did I kiss him back?

“Not at first,” I say slowly. “But yeah, I did.”

Autumn looks thoughtful. “Hmm. Who ended the kiss?”

“Me.” That part I remember very clearly. When I realized I waskissing Eli, I flinched away like his lips were made of lava or he had venomous spit or something.

“Was it a gentle separation?”

An unintentionally sarcastic laugh slips out of me. “No.”

“I see.”

I look at Autumn again. “What do you see?”

She tilts her head side to side like she’s debating what or how much of what she sees to share with me. “I think he felt rejected.”

“What?”

Leaning forward, her eyes bore into mine. “Think about it. Put yourself in his shoes. He worked up the guts to kiss you, something I suspect he’s been wanting to do for a long time, and you A—didn’t respond immediately and B—when you finally did respond, you ended it by jerking away. Jackson and I walked in immediately after that, right?” At my nod, she nods too. “Right. And then you took off like Hades had just released Cerberus to drag you back to the Underworld and wouldn’t return his texts for the rest of the night.”

She thinks Eli has been wanting to kiss me for quite a while? Why in the world would she think that? I think back over our years of friendship to see if I can find any merit in her assertion. But Eli has always treated me like one of the guys. Like a buddy. He's never ever reacted to me the way I've seen him treat other girls—girls that he's actually interested in. Not until he took me home from karaoke night anyway.

"What makes you say he's wanted to kiss me for years?”

Autumn laughs. "Are you serious right now?"

My head jerks back. "Of course I'm serious. Why wouldn't I be?"

Autumn’s laughter dies as she examines me closely. "Oh my god, you really are serious."

"Of course I'm serious," I repeat. "Eli and I have been friends for years. Just friends. He's never looked at me like a romantic interest. Much less a sexual conquest. Not until he saw me dressed up like agirl." I put all the horrified emphasis on the word girl that he did last night.

Wrinkling her nose, Autumn looks me up and down. "Why do you say it like that?"

"That's how Eli said it to me last night. He asked me why I looked like a girl. Like looking like a girl, much less actually being a girl, was a terrible thing. I'm not sure if it's a terrible thing in general, or just a terrible thing for me."

"Oh, Dani.” Autumn rises from the bed, her face a mask of sympathy. "I can't believe he said that to you. I can't believe he'd make you feel that way. Being a girl is awesome. And the fact that he made you feel less than for embodying your divine femininity makes me want to punch him in the throat."

The ferocity of her statement surprises a laugh out of me. “Autumn! I can't believe you’d say something like that. Aren't you usually all about love and light?”

“Never forget that light can also blind.” She stands with one hand on her cocked hip, the picture of taking no shit from anyone.

"Look at you. Who knew there was a fighter beneath all that hippie disguise."

Autumn laughs. "Disguise, huh? And here I thought it was just a fashion statement."

I join Autumn’s laughter. It feels good to laugh, especially after the drama and frustration of the last day.

With both hands on her hips, Autumn looks me over again. "But what are we going to do about Eli?"

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