Page 25 of Offsides

"Who says we have to do anything?"

CHAPTER TWELVE

Eli

"Well?" I ask as soon as Autumn walks in the door with Jackson.

She drops Jackson's hand and crosses her arms over her chest, one hip cocked to the side. Her cool gaze takes me in, dissecting me like a bug under a magnifying glass. "You said that you don't want her to look like a girl?”

"What?" I ignore the prepubescent shrieky quality to my question. "I never said that!"

Autumn arches one eyebrow in response. "Are you sure about that? Because Dani says that you said her looking like a girl was bad for some reason. Would you care to elaborate on that?"

I might have dug myself a shallow grave, but I'm not so stupid that I don't realize this question is a trap. "I have no idea what you're talking about." Denial seems like my best option.

Shaking her head, Autumn lifts one finger and wags it back and forth as well. "No no no. Here's what we're not going to do. We’re not going to play dumb. And we’re not going to pretend like we don't know what I'm talking about. You got jealous about the attention Dani received from your teammates. You followed her to the drinks and then you made her feel badly about how she dressed that night. She said that you said she looked like a girl as though being a girl was the worst possible thing in the world. Her biggest question was whether being a girl was bad in general, or if it was just bad for her."

My mouth opens and closes. I know I probably look like a fish. But I have no idea how to respond to that. "It's not—it's not—I don't think being a girl is bad. For anyone. Not you. Not Dani. Not any of the girls I know. I love girls."

Autumn scoffs. "Please. Do you know how many misogynist assholes claim they love women? Oh, theylooooovewomen. Women are their favorites. They especially love poking their dicks inside of women's warm, welcoming orifices. Are you that kind of asshole, Eli? Are you a misogynist? I mean, I know I'm not your favorite person. But I really thought better of you than that. One of your best friends is a girl. Or maybe I should saywasa girl. Because I'm not so sure you can claim Dani as a best friend anymore. Or at least I'm pretty sure she doesn't consider you one."

Autumn’s words hit me like a punch to the gut. Or worse. Like a defensive tackle taking me out. A piledrive shoulder pad straight to the gut. "Dani doesn't consider me a friend anymore?"

Lifting one shoulder in a shrug, Autumn examines her fingernails. "Can you blame her?"

I mean … I have been pretty awful to her lately. I guess I can't really blame her if she doesn't consider me a friend anymore. It still hurts, though. I miss her. I miss our friendship. I miss hanging out with her, talking to her, listening to her. I just miss her.

Collapsing into a dining room chair, I bury my face in my hands. “Is there anything I can do? Or does she hate me forever?”

I hear another chair’s legs scraping the floor. Then Autumn’s warm hand rests on my shoulder. “I don't think she hates you. I'm not so sure she likes you very much right now, but I don't think she hates you. I think she misses you. And I think she's really sad that someone she considered her best friend seems to resent the fact that she's female. I think that if you have any hope of recovery, you'll need to grovel. A lot.”

It’s not a lot, but there’s at least a little bit of hope in that statement. I grab onto it with both hands. “Grovel? How exactly?”

Autumn ruffles my hair then pats my shoulder before withdrawing her hand. “Well,” she says thoughtfully, “how serious are you?”

I raise my head to meet her eyes. “About which part?”

“Do you just want your friend back? Or do you want her to be your girlfriend?”

“Will that change our plan?”

“Oh, yeah,” Autumn laughs. “It definitely, definitely changes our plans.”

I swallow hard. “Do you think I have a chance at getting her to be my girlfriend?”

Pursing her lips and tilting her head to the side, Autumn considers my question. “I can't say for sure. But I will say that she admitted to kissing you back. And I can tell that she still cares about you. I also think that this is probably your only chance. So if this is what you really want, now’s the time to go for it. You've already fucked up your friendship anyway. You might as well go for what you’ve always wanted.”

“You really know how to get a guy’s hopes up, don't you?” I mutter. Sarcasm aside, she makes very valid points. Things with Dani will never be the same no matter what I do. I've had a crush on her for years. I've never been brave enough to do anything about it. One could make the argument that as soon as I did try to change our relationship, everything fell apart. However, I moved too early. The play was not fully set. The ball was not in motion. I committed an offsides foul. This—this hell of my own making—is my penalty.

“I’m not here to get your hopes up.” I didn't actually expect Autumn to respond to my snark. But I guess I shouldn't be surprised that she did. “You asked for my help. I wouldn't be helping you if I gave you false hope or bad advice.”

Narrowing my eyes, I look her over. She returns my gaze evenly. “You never did say why you want to help me.”

“Is there a question in there?”

I bark out a laugh. “Why are you even helping me, Autumn? You've said several times that you know you're not my favorite person. So why even offer to help me at all?”

Her mouth moves from side to side like she’s swishing her answer before spitting it out. Finally she shrugs. “I like Dani. I think she's a cool chick. And I think she deserves to be happy. And for whatever misguided reason, I think being with you would make her happy.”

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