Page 26 of Offsides

Deciding to ignore the misguided reason bit, I focus on the fact that Autumn thinks I’ll make Dani happy. All I've ever wanted is to make her happy. So I’ll do whatever it takes to make that happen. Even if it means groveling.

"So what's the plan?"

I head to the biology lab, a gift card for a major makeup store burning a hole in my pocket. I'm about to implement phase one of my plan to win over Dani. Right now, groveling will consist of showering Dani with gifts. All of those gifts need to show that number one, I view her as a woman. And number two, that I support her exploring what Autumn refers to as her divine femininity.

I feel like Dani would laugh her ass off if I said the words "divine femininity" to her face. Autumn uses that term with a straight face, but I don't think I can manage it.

Nevertheless, I'm giving Dani this gift card. Autumn assures me that Dani is exploring makeup and hair care products, and that this will show her that I support her finding this new part of herself. Clearly, this was Autumn’s idea.

I can’t say I disagree with it, though. She’s probably onto something.

And it's not like I don't support her desire to do whatever she wants. Obviously I do. I just don't think sheneedsthese things. There's nothing wrong with the way she looked or dressed before. I've always thought Dani was hot. One of my favorite parts about working out with her is predicting which leggings she would wear on any given day.

Deadlift day in the warm months is my favorite. She always wears old-school running shorts with the little white trim and everything and white knee socks with colorful stripes at the top. Sometimes they're red stripes, sometimes they're blue stripes. It's always fun to see what color she's chosen. And she usually matches either her shorts or her top. She looks like she belongs in one of those super old magazine spreads from when Arnold Schwarzenegger was a competitive bodybuilder. I think that might be my favorite outfit of hers ever. It’s ridiculously cute, and it shows off her legs and ass in the best way.

Of course she can't dress that way all the time. It's too cold in January for one thing. And she did look hot in the mini skirts and low-cut tops Autumn dressed her in for karaoke night and that party the other day. She's stunning with her hair and makeup done. But she's gorgeous no matter what she wears.

I just need to make it obvious to her that I feel that way. According to Autumn, Dani has no clue that I have feelings for her. Apparently even our kiss didn’t fill in those blanks for her. I guess she thought I only saw her as another groupie or something. And everyone knows that you don't have serious long-term relationships with groupies. Including Dani.

I didn't see her as a groupie, though. I saw her as available for the first time since I've known her. I've spent the last two days since talking to Autumn kicking myself for jumping the gun with that kiss. I should’ve gone about things entirely differently. I should’ve asked her out on a date. Or at least just talked to her and told her how I felt and asked if maybe she felt the same way.

Or maybe that would've blown up in my face just as badly. From the sounds of it, Dani has never seen me as a potential romantic partner.

My heart races as I enter the classroom, standing in the doorway to see if Dani’s arrived yet. We usually sit next to each other, but if she’s pissed at me, will she have switched seats? Or will she have told someone to take my regular seat?

Both of our spots are open, and I don’t see her anywhere else. With a sinking feeling, I realize there’s a third option—she might just not show up.

What’ll I do if that happens? I need to give her this gift card. And I need to do it somewhere I can talk to her for at least a few minutes to give some kind of explanation … though I still haven’t quite figured out exactly what I want to say. I know for sure I want to offer to take her shopping. And … I dunno. Tell her I appreciate her? Or that I want her to look however she wants? And do whatever she wants? But also without making it seem like my approval should matter at all, because Autumn made it very, very,veryclear that any such implication, intentional or otherwise, would mean my death.

I’m still not entirely sure ifshe’sthe one who’d kill me or if she meant Dani would do the honors. It’s actually possible she meant they’d team up and do it together.

As I’m ruminating over the possibilities of my demise at the hands of my best friend and her roommate, Dani arrives.

The elephant on my chest finally moves, and I draw in a deep breath, watching as Dani stares at her usual seat and bites her lip, then scans the room, obviously contemplating if she wants to sit next to me or risk irritating someone else by stealing their spot.

No, seats aren’t assigned. But we all know that where you sit is pretty much set in stone by the end of the first week of classes. We’re still early enough in the semester that it wouldn’t cause too much drama for her to change things up now, but it wouldn’t be drama free, either.

Her shoulders slump, then she draws in a breath and pulls them back as though steeling herself before crossing the room to the seat next to mine.

Where she puts her things down and pretends I don’t exist.

Greeeeat.

* * *

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Dani

I swear I can feel Eli’s eyes boring into me the entire class.

I shouldn’t have sat here. I should’ve risked the wrath of the Lisas and taken one of their seats. At this point, we’re all bio and biochem majors in these classes. We all know each other. And we all sit next to the same people in approximately the same areas of the classroom. The Lisas started sitting together our freshman year when they hit it off, first bonding over their shared name, and then their shared interest in goth fashion and gaming in addition to biology.

They’re nice, actually, and probably would swap seats with me without too much fuss. But I know I’d get cornered with a million questions about what happened between Eli and me that made me move, and soon it would be the gossip of the entire science department.

And I’m not up for dealing with that. Not now. Not on top of everything else that’s gone wrong.

But I’m also not up for dealing with Eli. I’m not sure what he expects from me after how he’s been acting, but he’s not going to get anything.

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