Page 32 of Offsides

“Hey, now,” Eli protests, “I’m the one who bought the gift card and offered to bring you. I’m pretty sure this was my brilliant idea.”

“Uh-huh,” I agree sardonically. “And we all know that Autumn’s the one who put you up to it. She all but admitted it to me, so you don’t have to try to pretend otherwise.”

He huffs, but doesn’t deny it.

“I’m a little surprised, actually,” I say as I read the labels on the row of store brand eyeliner pencils. The one thing Autumn said about brands was that I couldn’t go wrong with the store brand. Good basics, she said. And I’m definitely in need of basics.

“Surprised about what?” Eli asks as I pull out a bronze pencil and a black one. Those seem like good starting options. I hope.

Everyone uses black, right? And the bronze said it has a little shimmer. And that might be fun.

Turning, I search for the eyeshadow. Shouldn’t it be near the eyeliner? I mean, it seems like all the eye makeup should go together, right?

I spot some a little farther down. “That you’re getting ideas from Autumn. I thought you didn’t really like her.”

“Uh … I mean, that’s not …”

A glance over my shoulder reveals Eli rubbing the back of his neck then scratching his cheek—sure tells of embarrassment or uncertainty—his face a fascinating shade of red. Biting my lips, I stifle a laugh.

“It’s not that I don’t like her,” he finishes lamely. “It's not!” he protests at my look of doubt.

A laugh burbles out of me despite my best efforts to stifle it. “Okay, Eli. If you say so.”

He sighs. “I never said I didn't like her. She's fine. I never had a problem with her, per se. I just didn’t really think she was the best fit for Jackson.” He holds up his hands as though to fend off a protest from me even though I haven't said anything. “I don't think that anymore. I mean, obviously they work really well together. But when he used to blush anytime anyone even mentioned kissing? Someone like Autumn just didn’t seem like the best choice.” He drops his hands to his sides, suddenly looking like a sad little boy. “And I know I was judging her unfairly based on rumors and how she’s been with others. She’s been good for Jackson. And I’m happy they’re happy.”

“Awww, Eli.” I pat his chest. “I’m proud of you for growing and being able to admit when you’re wrong.” At least with Autumn. Though, to be fair, I guess this whole day is part of his apology and making up for his behavior to me. So maybe his ability to admit wrongdoing and change his behavior extends to me as well.

Turning to him I give him a squinty-eyed look. “What are we doing here, Eli?”

He looks at me, his eyes widened in surprise. “Shopping? I thought that would be kind of obvious since we’re, you know, in a store, and you're looking at things that I assume you intend to purchase. Do you need anything else? Or are you ready to check out?”

I roll my eyes. “Well, yes, I mean, obviously we’re shopping. But why here? Why did you pick this store for a gift card? And why did you want to come with me?”

Eli opens and closes his mouth a couple of times. His hand goes behind his neck, and he gives it a squeeze. His cheeks turn a little pink again. “Well, I mean … You've been wearing makeup a couple times lately. And when I talked to Autumn—”

“Ah ha!” I put my finger in his face accusingly. “You did talk to Autumn!”

He bats my hand away and rolls his eyes. “I’m pretty sure we already covered this. Yes, I talked to Autumn about what I should do to make up to you for the fact that I’ve been a complete asshole. I didn't think just saying sorry would be good enough. And every time I've tried to talk to you about … what happened that night over Christmas break, I seem to just fuck it up even more. I hate the idea of losing our friendship.” There’s a slight pause right before he says friendship, but he continues before I can think about what that might mean. “You're important to me, Dani. I don't want to lose you.”

If I didn't know better, that almost sounds like some kind of romantic declaration. It's the type of speech that the guy gives at the end of the rom-com when he realizes he's messed up and he's trying to get back with his girl.

Except I'm not Eli's girl. I'm just his friend who happens to be a girl. We talk football and weightlifting and meal plans and sometimes biology. But we don't date. We don't make out. We barely touch except for hugs when someone's upset. Well, when I’m upset. I suppose I've hugged Eli a few times to comfort him, but I can't remember the last time he was upset. Usually he's comforting me because I’m mad at Luke for breaking up with me again.

Maybe that's why he didn't just give me a hug after karaoke night. Maybe he's getting tired of the whole song and dance of Luke and I breaking up and getting back together and breaking up and getting back together and breaking up and getting back together. I knowI'mtired of it.

I guess that's one silver lining of Luke getting together with another girl. It means that he and I are over for good, and that means that I no longer have to ride this roller coaster of wondering if this time the breakup is for good. Because even though I was never fully convinced it was, some part of me always worried that maybe this was the time.

Seeing him with another girl when I was home for Christmas, was all my worst fears come true. It hurt. So, so much.

But now I can move through that hurt once and for all, and I don't have to worry about it ever again.

Now I just have to worry about what the fuck is going on with Eli.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Eli

My throat works as I swallow convulsively. Did I overstate things? I don't think so, but I can't really gauge anything with Dani anymore. She obviously wants to know what I’m thinking, or she wouldn't have asked what we're doing here.

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