Page 38 of Offsides

She shrugs and straightens, stepping back into the hallway to allow me out of the bathroom. “You’ve always been at game night. It’s weird when you’re not sitting next to Eli on the couch. I’m just glad you’ll be there is all.”

“Well, thanks.” I slip past her and move down the hall. “I’ve missed going. It felt wrong sitting at home while you guys left to have fun.”

Piper gasps and grabs my arm, forcing me to turn around in front of my bedroom door. She glares at me, crossing her arms again and cocking her hip. “You said you were fine with us going.” The statement is an accusation.

I throw my hands in the air. “I was fine with you going. You going was never a problem for me. I just wanted to go with you. But I knew it would be awkward being around Eli again after everything that happened between us. So my choices were to go and deal with the awkwardness—which I had no desire to do—or to stay home and deal with feeling left out. But it was my choice to be left out. Demanding you stay home with me in some kind of weird show of solidarity would’ve only put everyone in a terrible position. Autumn’s dating Jackson, for one thing. Am I supposed to make her stay home and take my side? What good would that accomplish?”

Her expression softens, but her posture doesn’t change. “I would’ve stayed home with you if I’d known you felt that way.”

Turning, I enter my bedroom fully aware that Piper will follow me. “And again, what good would that accomplish?”

I look up in time to see her rolling her eyes. “Well, for one thing, You wouldn’t have felt left out or alone. We could’ve watched a movie together or given each other pedicures or anything really.” She throws her arms wide. “I just don’t understand why you’d choose to be alone when you didn’t want to be. I assumed that you preferred solitude to process all your feelings about everything. I know you’ve been going through a lot lately, and a lot of people like to be on their own to deal with that.” She reaches out and smacks me lightly on the arm. “The next time you’re going through something and don’t want to be by yourself, tell me, dammit. I’ll cancel my plans and hang out with you. That’s what friends are for after all.”

“Okay, okay.” I hold up my hands in surrender. “I’m sorry. Next time I’m sad but I don’t wanna be alone, I’ll tell you, and we can watch a movie or whatever.”

Piper stands up straight and lifts her chin, staring down her nose at me and sniffing. “Good. That’s what I want to hear.”

Opening my dresser drawer, I get out one of the new sweaters I bought last week and put it on. “Alright, are you ready to go?”

“Let’s grab Ellie and we can go. Autumn is already over there.”

* * *

Apprehension tightens my chest as we approach Eli and Jackson’s apartment.

It’s silly. I’m being silly. There’s no reason for me to be nervous to see my best friends. Things with Eli and I are back to normal. Well… maybe not quitenormal. But we’re getting there. Maybe in another few weeks I’ll be able to pretend like he never actually kissed me.

For some reason that makes me sad.

Even though I freaked out when it happened, I enjoyed it. I didn’t want to pretend like it never happened at the time. I wanted to be able to talk to him about it and figure out what it meant.

But then he said,Let’s pretend that never happened. Which means that it meant nothing. And if my best friend is going to kiss me, I want it to mean something. I don’t care that Eli prefers hookups over relationships, but I don’t want to destroy our relationship for nothing more than a hookup.

And it’s clear he doesn’t want that either, because he hasn’t made any moves like that since.

Ellie leads the way into the apartment, a cheer greeting our arrival. It’s already pretty crowded, and Autumn, who came earlier, is circulating, a clipboard in hand. She writes on the clipboard as she speaks to people, and I know she’s creating the roster for tonight’s matchups.

Ellie approaches her and gives her a quick hug. Autumn waves at Piper and me, scribbling quickly on her paper before coming our way. “Hey, guys. I’m glad you made it.” She gives each of us a hug like we didn’t see each other just this morning. Then she waves toward the kitchen. “Eli is back there if you want to go say hi.”

“Thanks, Autumn,” I mumble. She’s already moving on, though, and I’m sure she doesn’t hear me at all.

Piper trails behind me as we head toward the kitchen. But we don’t make it more than a few steps before we’re stopped by Jared Ferguson, the left tackle who replaced Simon. He stands, blocking our way forward. Like Simon, he’s a mountain of a man, with broad shoulders the size of small hills. Not as trim as the man he replaced, and he hasn’t quite outgrown his baby face. His round cheeks bunch into a grin as he looks Piper and me up and down. “Hey, ladies. Can I get you anything?”

Even though he addresses both of us, it’s clear his offer is mostly for me.

My brows wrinkle together, confused why he’s paying attention to me all of a sudden. Maybe it’s because we got here after things have gotten started? Usually I’m here already when other people start arriving, so no one other than Eli or Jackson has ever offered to get me anything before. “Uh, no thanks. I’m good.”

He leans closer, almost as though he’s trying to separate me from Piper. “Aw, come on. Don’t be like that.”

A laugh bubbles out of me unintentionally. “Don’t be like what, exactly?”

Piper’s hand appears on his chest, and she steps in, pushing her away between us. “I think it’s pretty obvious she’s not interested, Fergs. Maybe take a hint and move on, huh?” She pats him on the chest then pushes past him, glancing over her shoulder to make sure I’m following.

Shaking my head, I give her aWhat was that?look. With her eyebrows raised, she gives me a shrug in return. We get to the kitchen without further interruption.

Eli’s face lights up at the sight of me, and he spreads his arms for a hug.

I step into his embrace, enjoying the familiar feel of his chest under my cheek and breathing in the combined smells of his deodorant and fabric softener. He’s warm and comforting, a stark contrast to the weird encounter we just had.

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