Once we started hanging out more, and I invited her to start coming to game nights and other things Eli invited me to, it was clear that despite her more feminine appearance, we had a lot in common.
I have her to thank for pulling me into the craziness of living with her and Autumn and Ellie. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Finally I shake my head. “Supportive isn’t a word I would pick for Luke. He would say he supported me, but it wasn’t the way I wanted to be supported. He was too pushy, and his version of support came with a side of negging.”
“That’s fair,” Autumn says. “What about Eli? Does he support you the way you want?”
“I think so,” I say slowly, thinking back over the course of our relationship. I hadn’t necessarily thought about it before—so I hadn’t realized it—but Eli has always been unfailingly encouraging with whatever I try to do. He’s been my hype man this whole time, with no hint of a put-down lingering anywhere.
Until my experiments with a new look at the beginning of this semester, anyway. That’s the first time he’s been anything other than immediately encouraging. And now I have an answer why. It’s not that he didn’t like it or only saw me as a piece of ass or whatever other thing I dreamt up.
It’s because he was mind-bendingly jealous and didn’t know how to deal. At all.
I think that’s why it hurt so much for him to react so badly. It wasn’t just the betrayal of my close friend—which was bad enough—but it was such a slap forhim—the only person I’ve ever truly felt supported by—to not be his usual supportive, encouraging self.
“Yes,” I say more firmly. “He does.”
“Right. Good. That’s good.” Autumn smiles.
“It is,” Ellie agrees. “And I think you’re used to that by now, right?” At my nod, she continues. “But you’re used to that in the context of friendship. And now that you’re moving intomorethan friendship, you’re not used to a boyfriend being sweet and kind and thoughtful that way because Luke is your only frame of reference.Of coursehe wants to take you on a date, Dani.” From her tone of voice, I feel like she really wants to subsillyordummyfor Dani in that sentence. “He cares about you. He wants to make sure you know how important you are to him. Frankly, I find it sad that you were in a relationship for as long as you were and your boyfriend never did that for you.”
Before I can respond, Autumn shoots her a look. “We’re not criticizing our friend right now.”
“I’m not!” Ellie protests, holding up her hands. “If anything, it’s a criticism of her dick of an ex. You have to admit, it is kinda sad. Even you’ve been taken on dates plenty of times, and you just finally started your first serious relationship in—well, as long as I’ve known you at least—not too long ago.”
Autumn’s narrowed eyes and pursed lips seem to have no effect on Ellie, who just shrugs and says, “What? You know it’s the truth!”
After a long moment of them staring at each other, Autumn calmly returns her attention to me. “Let Eli take you out. It’ll make him happy”—she holds up a hand and starts ticking off her points on her fingers—“it doesn’t violate your boundaries or personhood, and it’ll help you realize what a healthy relationship could be like. I see no downsides.”
And that’s when we finally get to the real seat of my objection. It’s not that Idon’twant to go on a date with Eli …
I throw up my hands, feeling ridiculous for what I’m about to say. “I don’t know what to wear!”
Autumn and Ellie burst into laughter. “Is that the problem?” Ellie asks. “Don’t worry, friend. We’ve got you covered.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Eli
I know Dani thinks it’s silly that I want to take her out on a date, but I don’t care. I’ve been wanting to do this since we first met. Now that I actually can, I’m not going to just abandon the idea because she thinks it’s unnecessary.
Just because something is unnecessary doesn’t mean it’s not worthwhile.
Game nights on Thursdays aren’tnecessary, but they’re fun.
Dates are the same way. Especially with someone you already know well. It’s notnecessaryfor any of the usual reasons. But I plan on having fun, even if it’s something silly.
She didn’t seem too excited about my dinner and a movie idea, so I’ve decided on something different instead.
Grinning, I knock on her front door, then stuff my hands into my coat pockets as I wait for her—or someone, anyway—to answer.
It’s Piper who pulls the door open, a wide smile on her face as she looks me up and down, taking in my dark wash jeans, leather shoes, and tucked in button-down shirt showing through the open halves of my leather jacket.
“Hey, Eli. You clean up nice.”
“Thanks, Piper. You look nice too.”
She laughs and shakes her head, glancing down at her leggings and sweater as she pulls the door wide and steps out of the way. “I look like a basic white girl, but thanks for the compliment anyway.”