Page 71 of Offsides

I open my mouth, my arms spread, a passionate defense on the tip of my tongue, but then I realize that’s entirely the wrong approach. He doesn’t deserve to be met with my anger—especially when I’m not really angry and only mirroring his emotions. I left. While I didn’ttechnicallylie, I definitely didn’t tell him the truth.

If the situation were reversed, I’d be upset too.

Dropping my arms, I shake my head. “I don’t know.”

He scoffs, and I can’t blame him. It’s a crap answer. I know it. But it’s the best one I have.

“I’m sorry, Eli.” I sink onto the couch, uncertain what else to say. What he wants to hear. How to make this better.

Arms still crossed he studies me, his jaw clenching, the muscle on the side of his face bulging rhythmically. “For what?”

I spread my hands. “Everything?”

He barks out a laugh. “Everything, huh? How convenient. Everything.” The last word is muttered more to himself than anything, and he shakes his head. “And that’s it, huh?” He shrugs dramatically. “You’re sorry. Problem solved?”

“Well, obviously not.” I pull the sleeves of my sweatshirt over my hands. “You’re clearly still mad. I’m just not sure what you want me to say.”

His eyes bulge a little bit. “I just want you to talk to me, Dani.” He throws a hand out to the side. “You left this morning. Told me yourroommateswere having a crisis, not that the crisis was your douchebag of an ex coming and demanding to speak to you. Why didn’t you tell me everything? Why didn’t you let me come with you?”

It’s my turn for my eyes to bulge, and I poke a thumb out of my sleeve and hitch it over my shoulder. “Um, do you remember what happened when you got here? You got in a fight with Luke the minute you laid eyes on him. Ellie had already called the cops before calling me. If you’d still been fighting when the police arrived …” I press my lips together and shake my head, my nostrils flaring. “Look, I don’t give a shit if Luke gets arrested. But the last thing I want isyougetting arrested.”

“Oh, so you were just trying to protect me, is that it?”

“I was trying to protecteveryone!” The declaration practically explodes out of it, the force of it pushing me to my feet. “Luke ismyproblem, and it’s up to me to deal with him. He shouldn’t be harassing my roommates or attacking you. Or provoking you into tackling him. Which, I’ll admit was satisfying to watch, but shouldn’t have happened.”

He rubs a hand over his face, his eyes glittering, and I can’t quite parse what he’s feeling right now. Which makes me kinda nervous, to be honest.

“Because you should’ve dealt with it. That’s what you’re saying. Right?”

I nod, and he sighs. “Dani, you’re allowed to accept help, you know that, right? You don’t have to handle everything on your own.”

My mouth opens, but nothing comes out. Because what he says makes logical sense, but not emotional sense.

He comes all the way into the living room and sinks onto the couch next to me, close enough to clasp my hands between his. “When Jackson told me your ex was here and I realized you’d gone off to him on your own, I worried it was because you wanted to take him back. That I’d just been a placeholder. The whole way here I wondered what I’d find when I arrived. What you’d say to me. And then I found him outside saying awful things about you.” He sucks in a deep breath, his spine straightening and chest puffing out, like the memory of that makes him want to fight all over again.

His breath comes out in a gust, and he shakes his head. “I couldn’t let him say that shit about you.”

On impulse, I kiss him. At first he freezes, but then his lips soften, and he kisses me back. He cups my jaw with one hand, holding me while he kisses me, and it’s so sweet and tender that tears sting my eyes.

When he pulls away, he rolls his lower lip between his teeth, like he wants to savor our kiss just a second longer.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you what was happening,” I whisper. “I didn’t want you to worry. I wanted to be able to handle it and come back to your place and pretend Luke wasn’t an asshole who doesn’t know when to give up.” I shake my head, looking down at my hand still clasped in his. “I just wanted it—everything to do with him—to be over.”

“Well, hopefully it is now.”

Glancing up, I give him a quick half smile. “Yeah. I’m sorry I made you worry, though. I never meant to do that. I—” I swallow hard, not sure this is the right time, but needing to say it anyway. “I love you. I only want you. I’d never take Luke back in a million years. I never should’ve taken him back the first time he broke up with me. If anyone was a placeholder, it apparently was me for Luke. And I don’t want to be anyone’s placeholder ever again.”

He kisses me again, fierce and passionate, his arms crushing me to him and pulling me into his lap. I go willingly, wanting to be close to him too.

When he ends the kiss, his eyes roam my face. “God, Dani. I’ve wished you would say that to me for so fucking long. I’ve wanted you for so fucking long. I’ve loved you since …” He shakes his head slowly, at a loss. “I don’t even know exactly when it happened. I just know that you’ve never been a placeholder for me. You’re the one I’ve waited for. I still can’t quite believe we’ve actually made it here.”

I grin at him. “It’s surprising to me too. I’m happy though.”

He laughs. “Good. Me too.” And then he kisses me again, this time his tongue parting my lips, his hips lifting and pressing into where I’m straddling him. “You know the other thing I was bummed about when you left,” he murmurs against my lips.

“What’s that?”

“No morning sex.”

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