Page 36 of Reckless On Ice

What the fuck? This isn’t like Knox. He’s normally far more positive than this, but I deserve this for hurting him the way I did.

Ryder: I thought it was asshole night at the club. They do themes there, you know. Just trying to fit in and all.

Knox: Hah.

Fuck, he’s not engaging with me at all. I really messed this up. Pressing my face into the floor, I huff in exasperation. Knox has to forgive me. I guess I have to apologize for that to happen. Rolling to my back, I pick my phone up, looking at the screen.

Ryder: I know I fucked up. This is confusing as hell. I don't know what to do.

Well, it was embarrassing as hell to rip my chest open and admit that. I wait for a reply. And wait some more.

Ryder: Knox?

Knox: Oh, was there something in there directed at me? Because it soundedlike you were making some general statements that didn’t require my input at all. You fucked up, fact. It’s confusing, fact. You don't know what to do, your problem, not mine.

Ryder: I’m sorry, okay? I shouldn't have been such an asshole to you at the club.

Knox: What an apology. Do you need a pat on the back for getting that one out? It’s gonna take a lot more than that for me to forgive you for acting the way you did. You scared away the first men to interact with me in public without me hiding my interest. I could have had rainbow booty shorts on my floor before the night was over. You robbed me of rainbow booty shorts, Ryder.

He wanted that scrawny dude in the short-shorts?

Ryder: That tiny man wasn’t even your type. I did you a favor by scaring the guy away!

Knox: What makes you the authority on what my type is? I could like gorgeous little twinks that I can split in half and bounce on my cock in the bedroom, and parade around like my pretty little prince in public. You don't know me likeyou think you do, Reckless.

The fucker has me seeing red. He’s back to that stupid nickname that is far too accurate, and I want to put a hole in the wall thinking of Knox bouncing anyone on his dick or having someone he parades around proudly.Someone that’s not me,the dick voice says. I’ve got to shut that thing up, but he really likes Knox. I let my dick speak when I type out my next text.

Ryder: I know you, and I know a guy you can break isn’t what you need. You want someone who will meet your strength with theirs. You need someone who can throw you around as easily as you can throw them around, so the power goes both ways. Because the best kind of sex is when you both give and take. You want to let go of your perfectly controlled self for a few minutes and become a beast that feels and takes selfishly from someone who wants to be taken from. You can't get that from someone a foot shorter and a hundred pounds lighter than you.

I barely stop myself from addingyou need mebefore hitting send. My stomach still curls up and strangles my heart like I did. Why is it so hard to talk about this? To be vulnerable and admit how I feel, even to myself? I don't like it.

Knox: You really are an arrogant fucker.It’s not even about the men when it comes down to it, but you don't want to acknowledge the huge fucking elephant in the room. I’m cool off texting until you’re man enough to talk to me without avoiding the most important subject. Have a good game.

I don’t text him again, because I know Knox is serious, and I’m not ready to bring up what he wants me to. Knox is the bigger person, still wishing me a good game despite being pissed at me.

I’m agitated and in need of a release for my pent-up feelings that yoga just won't cure. I’m superstitious as fuck and I got off against Knox before my last game that we won. That means I need to come again tonight, even if Knox isn’t here for me to rub up against.

I hop up onto the bed and breathe out a frustrated sigh as I open the Vers app. Not bothering to scroll, I go right to my DMs and find HandyManCan with his beautiful skin that reminds me of Knox enough to imagine his face on the faceless photos in our chat history. I start a new message to him, wanting someone who doesn't know all my baggage and won't judge me for wanting to get off anonymously.

HotnHandsy: I’ve been thinking about those hands of yours. Especially wrapped around that gorgeous cock. Hope your day is going well.

I click out of my DMs, feeling a bit stupid for sending a pleasantry along with an obvious cry for a dick pic. I scroll through the feed of recent uploads, admiring those who have the art of the dick pic down and critiquing those who most certainly do not. Come on, man. Your socks are in the pic, and so is the damn dirty toilet. At least get some better lighting so your beast looks better. My notification of a new message pings several minutes later, and I check my messages to find one from HandyManCan.

HandyManCan: There you are. I thought you forgot about me. Hit it and quit it or something. Glad to know I’ve been on your mind, even a little bit.

HotnHandsy: There’s nothing little about you, and of course, I’ve thought about you. I don't get much time to use this app, honestly.

HandyManCan: I feel that. Work keeps me going nonstop. I travel a lot, and when I’m home, it’s just as insane.

HotnHandsy: Same. Another thing we have in common with our hand kink and big dicks.

HandyManCan: Is it weird to say I miss your big dick?

HotnHandsy: Fuck no. I want to see yours, too. Here you go.

I push my shorts down and take a photo of my cock lying heavy against my stomach, lit by the open window so the head gleams with the precum that’s already gathering in my excitement. It doesn't take much to get me going.

HandyManCan: *groan* I want to taste you. Were you just working out? Are you still sweaty? Fuck me, why is that so hot?

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